What do I do here...

[crownjules]

The situation:

I went whitewater rafting with a bunch of friends this past weekend. Had a ball, probably one of the most fun weekends I've had in a long time. This girl came along who is a friend of my best friend's ex-gf (who also came along), and we hung out a lot throughout the course of the weekend. She is a really cool girl, not to mention f'n cute, and I would love to "get to know her better".

The problem:

She has a boyfriend. She only mentioned him once or twice when she called him early on (our car broke down on the way up and he was a potential way of getting up there, but she didn't really want him coming - more on that soon). Even though she referred to him as a boyfriend only, she was wearing what looked to me like an engagement ring (the only ring she was wearing). I work with a girl that more often than not refers to her fiancee as a boyfriend, so I of course am wondering if the same applies here.

Normally, I don't chase after girls I find out are involved with someone already. I just view it as wasting my time going after something that I have one more huge obstacle to overcome. However, I spent a lot more time with this girl and she's not one to pass over so easily.

Other key points:

- As mentioned earlier, she wasn't keen on the idea of her BF coming along. From snips of convos I overheard while we were broken down, there might be possible relationship problems. The only concrete thing she said to me was that she wanted to have fun this weekend and him coming along would have put a stop to that.

- She was very outgoing towards me. For example, I was freezing one night since I didn't pack a sweater or coat, and as soon as she noticed she quickly offered me her sweatshirt (she had two). She seemed to always come to me first to give me a hand back into the boat after our numerous dumps (we told our guide to take us down the river the hard way so we lost people almost every major rapid). Lots of other little things, too.

- Upon dropping me off and saying goodbyes, she gave me an especially big hug that wasn't expected and told me she enjoyed hanging out and had a lot of fun.

I didn't ask for her number or anything, figuring that would be a little weird at this point, but I did extend her the invitation of hanging out again soon as a group. Getting her number wouldn't be too difficult I imagine, since I know her best friend. Like I said, I just usually give up as soon as I hear mention of a boyfriend and go on to find a different girl, so I don't know what approach is best to take here. Anyone with experience (preferably successful experience) in a similar situation know what to do here and can give a few tips?

[IndieMatty]

She has a boyfriend, and you are confusing her being a nice person with liking you. Move on.

[crownjules]

[ QUOTE ]
She has a boyfriend, and you are confusing her being a nice person with liking you. Move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will admit it's easy to fall into this trap, but I'm usually good at distinguishing the difference. It is not too hard when you factor in body language, inflections of voice, etc.

I wasn't asking should I give up or not. I was asking what should I do given that I want to chase this.

Ask the best friend what the story is?

[TripleH68]

You are in a lousy situation.

In my experience women like this are looking for a self-esteem builder. She has a 'boyfriend' but your attention sure makes her feel good about herself. That is until you show serious interest in her. Then you are sunk.

Your only chance is if she comes to you. You sure don't want her using you as a crutch to break things off with her current other.

[lu_hawk]

indie matty is right, inflections be damned. your only hope is to try to start some sort of casual exchange, possibly over e-mail. basically you have to let her do it, if she has a boyfriend and wants to stay with her boyfriend then being straightforward is going to turn her off big time. i give you a 0.1% chance of success.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She has a boyfriend, and you are confusing her being a nice person with liking you. Move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will admit it's easy to fall into this trap, but I'm usually good at distinguishing the difference. It is not too hard when you factor in body language, inflections of voice, etc.

I wasn't asking should I give up or not. I was asking what should I do given that I want to chase this.

[/ QUOTE ]

You weren't good this time. She mentioned the boyfriend. Game [censored] over.

Sorry man.

[touchfaith]

...and yet another stalker is born...

[maxfisher]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She has a boyfriend, and you are confusing her being a nice person with liking you. Move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will admit it's easy to fall into this trap, but I'm usually good at distinguishing the difference. It is not too hard when you factor in body language, inflections of voice, etc.

I wasn't asking should I give up or not. I was asking what should I do given that I want to chase this.

[/ QUOTE ]

You weren't good this time. She mentioned the boyfriend. Game [censored] over.

Sorry man.

[/ QUOTE ]
i concur sp? here, the boyfriend will simply prove to be too great an obstacle to overcome

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She has a boyfriend, and you are confusing her being a nice person with liking you. Move on.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will admit it's easy to fall into this trap, but I'm usually good at distinguishing the difference. It is not too hard when you factor in body language, inflections of voice, etc.

I wasn't asking should I give up or not. I was asking what should I do given that I want to chase this.

[/ QUOTE ]

You weren't good this time. She mentioned the boyfriend. Game [censored] over.

Sorry man.

[/ QUOTE ]
i concur sp? here, the boyfriend will simply prove to be too great an obstacle to overcome

[/ QUOTE ]

I mean if OP wants to try, wtf, but he said he wasn't a fan in fruitless attempts.