Long Distance (ABSOLUTELY no content)

[gildwulf]

I was gonna post this in Citanul's 'Ann Landers' sticky, but I figured there's enough fluff in there already.

Anyhoo, my girlfriend and I are doing long distance next year starting at the beginning of September (I am going to Chicago and she is staying in MTL). I was wondering if any other posters on here have had experience with long distance and were willing to share. Also, any general or specific advice would be much appreciated.

Some background: we have been dating for 7+ months and it is pretty serious. Basically, I don't want to f*ck this up. My last long distance relationship crashed and burned (highschool, I went to college and screwed around).

peace,
Z

[Superfluous Man]

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My last long distance relationship crashed and burned (highschool, I went to college and screwed around).

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Empirical evidence (this, along with every other long distance relationship I, or anyone I've ever known, has been in) suggests this one is doomed to failure. -EV

[gildwulf]

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My last long distance relationship crashed and burned (highschool, I went to college and screwed around).

[/ QUOTE ]
Empirical evidence (this, along with every other long distance relationship I, or anyone I've ever known, has been in) suggests this one is doomed to failure. -EV

[/ QUOTE ]

If we're going on crappy poker analogies, that's like saying you should never try and play the 215s because 4 years ago when you sucked at poker you had a bad losing streak:P

[FatalError]

if you are looking for relationship advice from 2+2 then god help you

[gildwulf]

hahaha, vnh...I'm just curious...and it's less advice and more wondering about other people's experience with it. Looking more from the older crowd...I've already gotten enough wise-ass 20-something comments from my buddies...

[yabastid]

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if you are looking for relationship advice from 2+2 then god help you

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[mlagoo]

I don't want to get really long winded about this (I actually had written a sort of long post then deleted it), but I was in a long distance relationship with a serious girlfriend and ended it because it become too stressful.

You really need to trust each other implicitly for it to work. If there's any doubts in your mind about one another's faithfulness, it's just going to drive you crazy and make you act/interact crazy.

If it's someone you really care about, it's worth trying, but it's difficult.

[Superfluous Man]

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If we're going on crappy poker analogies, that's like saying you should never try and play the 215s because 4 years ago when you sucked at poker you had a bad losing streak:P

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Well, the "-EV" part was the only poker-related thing I put in there, and it was kind of a throwaway line. It certainly wasn't my aim to make it a poker analogy. Seriously, this is how 99% of these go:

Months 1-3: You pass up prime opportunities with women who are better looking than your current girlfriend. Your girlfriend may do the same.
Month 4: You cheat, quite possibly with someone who is worse looking than your girlfriend, just because you miss sex that much. Your girlfriend may do the same.
Months 5-7: Somewhere in here, one of the two finds out about the cheating and you break it off, either because one of you has found someone better (and by "better" I mean "close enough to have sex with frequently") or because you've simply fallen out of touch with her. Gee, I wonder why. Couldn't be the thousand miles of separation.

All the while, you will regret having passed up the opportunities you had in months 1-3.

The "expected value" of a long-distance relationship is heartbreak and sexual frustration. Understand that when you enter into one of these, you are going against the odds. Good luck anyway.

[gildwulf]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

If we're going on crappy poker analogies, that's like saying you should never try and play the 215s because 4 years ago when you sucked at poker you had a bad losing streak:P

[/ QUOTE ]
Well, the "-EV" part was the only poker-related thing I put in there, and it was kind of a throwaway line. It certainly wasn't my aim to make it a poker analogy. Seriously, this is how 99% of these go:

Months 1-3: You pass up prime opportunities with women who are better looking than your current girlfriend. Your girlfriend may do the same.
Month 4: You cheat, quite possibly with someone who is worse looking than your girlfriend, just because you miss sex that much. Your girlfriend may do the same.
Months 5-7: Somewhere in here, one of the two finds out about the cheating and you break it off, either because one of you has found someone better (and by "better" I mean "close enough to have sex with frequently") or because you've simply fallen out of touch with her. Gee, I wonder why. Couldn't be the thousand miles of separation.

All the while, you will regret having passed up the opportunities you had in months 1-3.

The "expected value" of a long-distance relationship is heartbreak and sexual frustration. Understand that when you enter into one of these, you are going against the odds. Good luck anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, this is pretty jaded...I'm interested in hearing about people's actual experiences as well...

[skipperbob]

Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire:
It will extinguish the weak & fan the strong [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]