A bad situation

[bernie]

This is a repost from another forum I'm on. Someone else posted the story. It turned into quite a powderkeg. Let's see your take on it...

I italicized the part that was a component of the fuse that set the thread off.

[ QUOTE ]
So here I was yesterday, having a relaxing evening. My phone rings, and it's a friend of mine calling to tell me that his sister, who has been a really good friend to me over the years, is in the hospital because her piece of [censored] boyfriend(who none of us ever liked) has just beat the hell out of her.

Ok, so this so called man is about 6'3", 240-250lbs. A big guy next to me. And she is only 5'4" maybe 120lbs soaking wet. Anyway, dude wants blood! And he asks me to help because he knows he cant take the loser himself. In the heat of the moment Im all yeah, lets go kick the [censored] out of him. The police have also been called, but they dont know where to find him. But we have a few pretty good ideas where he would be.
I should add that Im not violent person, well except for playing hockey, but that doesnt count! Hell the last time I was involved in anything like a street fight was 10 years ago. And that was over a guy hitting a woman too.

So calls are being made as people are hearing the news. After a bit we get talked out of hunting the prick down. Now this is not the first time goofball has hit her , but nothing like this before. In the past we all wanted to be supportive and try and talk her into dumping his ass. But for whatever reasons, she stayed with the dork.

A couple hours later we find out the police have arrested dipshit.

So I have just got back from visiting her in the hospital. She is a mess. She will recover physically, but who nows how long it will take for the emotional scars to heal. When she gets out in a few days we are going to help her find a new place and move. They didnt live together, but she doesn't want to be in the same place when fuckwad gets out of jail.

I really dont want to get into this with her right now, but I just dont understand why she stayed with him. I've seen the tv documentaries on this subject. So I know about the manipulation, the control, emotional abuse, and the fear. Even still I dont get why people stay in these situations. It just seems to be a recurring theme with these assholes. The same bullshit stories...Im sorry baby, it'll never happen again, blah, blah, blah....BULLSHIT! It always does, these losers dont change. If anything it just gets worse then next time. I just dont get it. It seems simple enough to me, if some bottomfeeding slimeball hits you, get out, leave. Period! And have the scumbag thrown in jail.

Any thoughts anyone might have might help. Because in all honesty, right now, I wish she had had a gun and killed the son-of-a-bitch. Or at least me or someone else had been there to do it for her.

[/ QUOTE ]


b

[ThaSaltCracka]

I don't see what the big deal is.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't see what the big deal is.

[/ QUOTE ]

The big deal is that its happened before, and I'm sure the debate turned into "its somewhat her fault too", kinda like the whole "she was wearing a sexy short skirt in a bad part of town" = partial responsibility for rape.

[ThaSaltCracka]

I realize that it happened before, but I don't see how that little passage would result in a long flame war.

[-Skeme-]

Tricky situation. To be honest, I don't think beating him down with another guy is the answer. If he's a mean piece of [censored] like you described him, he'll want revenge on you for jumping him with a friend. It's not going to help the lady out, and it might even make her mad, if she's still brainwashed and feels for the idiot. I think you should press charges and have him put in jail for as long as possible, sue for any damages you can, and get her therapy. Both physical and emotional. You don't need this dipshit coming after either you, your friend or her. Let it go and hope he gets jail time.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
I realize that it happened before, but I don't see how that little passage would result in a long flame war.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, didnt' mean to make it seem that you didn't.

as far as that little sentence sparking things, you know how people are when arguing a point. All it taks is for someone to say "serves that stupid bitch right" and so on, and *boom*

[RacersEdge]

Beating a guy up won't solve the problem. The real cause is the girls refusal to dump the guy. I just can't comprehend that. It's like having rattlesnakes as pets and then getting bit one day - and being surprised.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I realize that it happened before, but I don't see how that little passage would result in a long flame war.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, didnt' mean to make it seem that you didn't.

as far as that little sentence sparking things, you know how people are when arguing a point. All it taks is for someone to say "serves that stupid bitch right" and so on, and *boom*

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, the response that kind of started it was someone responded how someone who stays in this situation after the first time is mentally sick.

But a couple people did do the patented, 'she's an idiot for staying' deal. Which also sparked quite a bit, but was quickly defused.

b

[Boris]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think beating him down with another guy is the answer.

[/ QUOTE ]

WRONG! A serious beat down is in order so that future abuse is prevented. You need to put fear in the abuser's mind. You need to let him know that if he ever comes in contact with the woman again there will be serious consequences. A restaining order just doesn't do the trick.

i swear i was playing my guitar when this [censored] went down! you honkeys come near me with some hostility and i will beat your white asses so bad you will look like reginal denney.