Funny Story (Very Very Long)

[DireWolf]

A bunch of friends and I went to Martha's Vinyard for a week. One of my friend's family has two houses there. they are on the same property but a decent distance from each other.

One night everyone got very trashed. Some people started going to bed, when someone had the brillant idea to go biking naked on the golf course which was bordering my friends property. In our intoxacated state, everyone who was still awake thought it was a really good idea. So 4 guys and 3 girls got bikes and we got ready to go to the golf course. To get to the golf course u had to get on this little path that went through some trees.

So we got to the golf course and everyone got naked, put their clothes near the head of the path, and started biking. It was pretty fun actually, probably cause we were really wasted but whatever. A couple people didn't see a sand trap and crashed pretty hard. After a little bit, one of the girls had to go back to the house for something. We kept riding around for a while.

Soon we see this flashlight coming towards us. We assume it is the girl that went back to the house, so some people are calling her name, Lindsey, and yelling and stuff. The flashlight doesn't answer. It gets closer and closer. Finally we hear "IT'S NOT LINDSEY, ITS SANDY"(our friends mom). Everyone Panicked. People just took off in all directions. The biggest problem was Sandy came through the path and was standing right next to our clothes. She was really pissed. I guess we had been really loud, and she had come down to see what was going on. I was on my own at this time, and was trying to get close to my clothes, so my friends mom wouldn't see me naked.

Eventually Sandy left and to go to the kids house, since everyone ran on the golf course. I got my clothes back on, and headed back to the house. When i got there Sandy was there, along with a couple of the kids i had been biking with. She was probably more upset now, since the house was a mess, and there was alcohol all over the place. Finally everyone but one kid got back to the house. We were all cleaning up the house, and after about 20 minutes we were like "maybe this kid can't find the path, we should go find him."

So a couple of us go out to find the kid. He was probably the most drunk out of all of us. His name was John, and we were tried to find him for a while. We were screaming his name and walking around but there was no sign of him. At this point, we were pretty sure he had passed out someplace on the golf course, naked.

We kept walking around, and still could not find him. Eventually Sandy came out, and started to get very worried that we could not find him. (AT THIS TIME, SANDY DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS NAKED.) Probably an hour had passed by this time, and people were starting to get worried. There were a bunch of ponds on the golf course, and we were hoping he hadn't ridden into a pond somehow. We kept looking. At this time, everyone in the house had woken up, and everyone was out on the golf course looking, and screaming his name. It was probably 4:00 in the morning now. We kept looking and looking, covering the whole golf course. As time went by, and we still couldn't find him, everyone was starting to think something serious had happened.

All this time, i had picked up his clothes, that had still been on the ground, and had been carrying them around. Finally we had to tell Sandy that he was naked. She gave us a very wierd look, but was so worried at this point, that she just kept looking for him.

We kept thinking he may have gone out the other side of the golf course, into town, but then we would think about how funny it would have been to have walked into town totally naked, and kind of dismissed the idea.

We kept looking, and it started getting bright out side. The golf pro came to work around 5:30 and saw us all walking on the course. He was really chill, and asked us what we were doing and we explained the story to him. He was like "allright that is cool, but im gunna have to call the cops." So the cops came, and we told them the story. They didn't really care about the underage drinking which was cool, but they were like "does he have any defining characteristics?" and we were like "uh, he is naked"

So there were 4 cops, and everyone was still walking around everywhere on the golf course and around it. Finally we had about given up. He was no where to be seen, and neither was his bike. We were reasonably sure he wasn't in a pond, since we probably would have seen the bike, but it was still scary to think about.

So we all grouped up together and the police were like "were gunna have to call in search and rescue." This was getting real serious now. Finally right when the cops were about to call for help, Jamie comes walking into view. He is wearing this huge t-shirt, and this real old, dirty, holey jeans. He also had scratches everywhere on his body. They were all over.

Everyone was really happy to see him, and we were laughing out of relief and what a sight he looked like right now. Finally he started telling the story about what happened to him:

When Sandy had come, he just started biking so he wouldn't get caught. Eventually, he couldn't find anyone so he tried to find his clothes and get back to the house. He was to drunk though and couldn't find the path. So he decided to try and walk through the woods, to get to the other side and the house. This wouldn't have been a bad idea, except he walked right into a huge patch of pricker bushes. He said he gelt like he walked in the bushes for an hour, and i guess it was really really dense. Imagine walking through pricker bushes totally naked. Thats how he got all the scratches.

Then he said, he finally got out of the bushes, but didn't see the house. He did see a couple other houses though so he went up to the biggest one and opened a sliding door and just walked inside. The house he walked into turned out to be a retirement home, and when he walked inside he made enough noise to wake most of the old people living there. I guess he was just walking around inside, totally naked, with tons of old people staring at him. Finally one of the tenents gave him a towel to sleep with, and he fell asleep on one of the couches. When he woke up, the tenent gave him the old clothes and let him walk him. And that is what happened to him.

[Freakin]

No way am I reading all that.... Can someone summarize?

[2005]

Kids get drunk.
Kids get naked and go biking on a golf course at night.
Kid's mom finds them.
Drunk kids scatter
One super-drunk kid is nowhere to be found.
Police help look.
Kid shows up.
Kid had wandered through the woods when mom showed up.
Found sticky bushes.
Got scratches.
Wandered into retirement home and slept on the couch... Naked

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
Kids get drunk.
Kids get naked and go biking on a golf course at night.
Kid's mom finds them.
Drunk kids scatter
One super-drunk kid is nowhere to be found.
Police help look.
Kid shows up.
Kid had wandered through the woods when mom showed up.
Found sticky bushes.
Got scratches.
Wandered into retirement home and slept on the couch... Naked

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao, awesome!

Freakin

[DireWolf]

[ QUOTE ]
Kids get drunk.
Kids get naked and go biking on a golf course at night.
Kid's mom finds them.
Drunk kids scatter
One super-drunk kid is nowhere to be found.
Police help look.
Kid shows up.
Kid had wandered through the woods when mom showed up.
Found sticky bushes.
Got scratches.
Wandered into retirement home and slept on the couch... Naked

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you for the summary, as soon as i posted it, i realized there was no way most OOTers would read this

[Vince Young]

[ QUOTE ]
His name was John

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Jamie comes walking into view.

[/ QUOTE ]
huh?

[Spladle Master]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Kids get drunk.
Kids get naked and go biking on a golf course at night.
Kid's mom finds them.
Drunk kids scatter
One super-drunk kid is nowhere to be found.
Police help look.
Kid shows up.
Kid had wandered through the woods when mom showed up.
Found sticky bushes.
Got scratches.
Wandered into retirement home and slept on the couch... Naked

[/ QUOTE ]

thank you for the summary, as soon as i posted it, i realized there was no way most OOTers would read this

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought it was a good story.