My roommate sucks at masturbating

augie00 · #1 05-05-2005, 01:51 PM

It's true. He always picks the worst times to masturbate. Take yesterday for example:

Without saying a word to my roommate, I leave with the intention of going to my friend Tyler's car and having him take me to my cell phone distributor. I forget my broken ass cell phone in the room, so I run back upstars to get it, tug on the doorknob...locked.

Great, so what the hell do I do now? I jiggle the doorknob for a few seconds, slide my key in, unlock, wait a little longer (giving my roommate plenty of time to hide the evidence) and finally open the door. I do not make eye contact with my roommate, but I notice him fevorishly closing windows on his computer screen.

This isn't the first time this has happened, and it's quite embarassing for him and for me. But especially him. I usually just laugh at him behind is back for his poor masturbation ability.

Beerfund · #2 05-05-2005, 01:55 PM

Make it a group thing.

Sponger15SB · #3 05-05-2005, 01:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
My roommate sucks at masturbating

[/ QUOTE ]

Try lube, if it doesn't get better, find another guy who can make your happy.

odellthurman · #4 05-05-2005, 01:57 PM

You are posting about your roommate's masturbation, and you characterize him as "sucking" at masturbating. Are you going to make the first move or just wait on him to go for it?

tbach24 · #5 05-05-2005, 01:58 PM

That's because he's too busy getting with that girl you keep posting about.

BeerMoney · #6 05-05-2005, 02:04 PM

sounds to me like he's too good. Stop screwing up your plans and this won't happen.. And oh ya, if your teacher lets you out of class early, let your roommate know somehow.

swede123 · #7 05-05-2005, 02:05 PM

Just have a system where you tie something on the doorhandle etc. whenever one of you is in there having sex, whacking it, etc.

Swede

jakethebake · #8 05-05-2005, 02:17 PM

So why does he suck at masturbatiing? It sounds like it's just his timing that sucks.

augie00 · #9 05-05-2005, 02:31 PM

[ QUOTE ]
So why does he suck at masturbatiing? It sounds like it's just his timing that sucks.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I'm saying.

housenuts · #10 05-05-2005, 02:34 PM

just laugh at him to his face. it's no big deal. then it becomes funny for you instead of uncomfortable. however it's still something you don't want to see, you can just laugh