Mom's dying

[tek]

My 86 y/o mom is dying. She has CHF, colon cancer and emphasema. On April 2nd she passed out in the bathroom and got banged up pretty bad and went to the hospital.

After 2 weeks, she went to the nursing home. We figured she'd be there for good, but she didn't like it and went home after a week. We hired a private home nursing service.

Nice job--sit on their azz watching Oprah and Judge This and Judge That all day. They (2 different ones each day intead of one live in) help her when she has to go, eat or bath, etc.

But it turns out that she got severely dehydrated at the nursing home and also the first couple of days with the nursing service (which we have since counselled about our desire for her to have 8 glasses/day). I guess it's too hard to give an old lady 8 glasses of water each day. Last Saturday she almost died, was at the point where we recognized what was happening and had her drink a shjt load of water the past few days. On Friday we still thought she was going from natural causes and had a hospice service come over.

They have been involved administering her medications (heart, pain, oxygen tank, etc). They drug her up real good.
They are creepy people in that they don't try to save anyone, but just want to keep them in lala land while they die. Kind of like Kervorkians with patience...

If you have older parents, be wary of all geriatric care providers. Nursing homes are death warehouses with personnel who do the minimum. In-home nursing services are staffed with personnel who do the minimum. And hospice services are just Kervorkian drug pushers.

You need to be on top of whatever service is involved. Monitor what drugs they give. Make sure they provide adequate water. And have someone visit each day. These services suck anyway and if you don't visit often they'll really give lousy service or even make your parents die.

I should also add that my mom has a Living Will/Healthcare Directive, but dying for no reason like dehydration is wrong. My nephew is getting married in a month and she almost missed it for no reason...

[gamblore99]

I'm not sure what to say...I hope things turn out ok, whatever that means I'm not really sure.

As for the dehydration, I would think the colon cancer, not the poor care would be responsible for that.

[HDPM]

Sorry about your mom. But good post on how rancid care facilities are. I hope I am never in one and will take steps to avoid it. When my great grandmother was in a relatively nice nursing home in her last years, some jackass doctor forbid her from eating pie, saying it was bad for her. She was 97 or 98 at the time. A relative had to go tell them she was going to have pie. Like it would stunt her growth or rot her teeth or whatever. Unbelievable.

[jakethebake]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother.

[theBruiser500]

gooodluck son