can you cheat and still have an intimate relationship?

[gamblore99]

the banged her best friend post sparked this. I don't understand how people can cheat on there girlfriend/fiance/wife whom they claim to really care about. I mean, how can you look this person in the eye after you have lied and decieved them? All trust is shattered. It's one thing if it is just a sexual relationship with no real feelings involved (though i don't think i would cheat here, dunno really), but if you really care about someone, wouldn't cheating ruin your entire relationship? especially if you haven't told her.

[ucfryan]

[ QUOTE ]
can you cheat and still have an intimate relationship?

[/ QUOTE ]

No.

[PoBoy321]

I think that it's situation dependent. For example, I think that a college kid who's in a serious relationship, but one night goes out, gets trashed and ends up hooking up with some girl is more forgivable than a married guy with kids who's screwing around with his secretary. In the former relationship, there's still a chance for the guy to redeem himself, while I think that the marriage in the second example is unsalvagable.

[tdarko]

i have (ignorantly) been in the first situation you mention and it's unsalvagable as well because once trust is broken its over. the only difference is that in the first situation its easier to move on b/c it is just a college relationship where as a marriage has alternate factors such as kids.

[uw_madtown]

No. I'm one of those people, if a chick cheated on me, it's over. Don't care what the excuse is, don't want to hear it. We're done, get out.

Mostly because I'm NOT a jealous guy. I trust people I'm seeing a lot, so I don't feel jealous when they have guys as friends that they hang out with, or whatever. I know I'm just-friends with many girls, frequently flirt and joke around with them all in the name of fun.

But I see that as okay, because I'm incapable of cheating. I just couldn't do it, ever. If I'm in a relationship, I'd trust her the same way.

If you break that simplest level of trust, I have no time for you. I'd expect the same if I, for some unforeseeable reason, was the cheater.

[trying2learn]

there are marriages and solid relationships that continue on after adultry. my parents had a great marriage for 30 years (until my moms death) and my father cheated on her, yet still cared for her deeply. he regrets it quite a bit now...but it happened...and they got through it. to say this is a situational topic would be an understatement.

[tdarko]

i completely understand that you can still deeply love and care for and work things out after adultry, but the trust is broken and that can't be changed is all i am saying.

[uw_madtown]

[ QUOTE ]
i completely understand that you can still deeply love and care for and work things out after adultry, but the trust is broken and that can't be changed is all i am saying.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sure it's possible for some, even many, people.

I don't think it's so much situation dependent as it is dependent on the individuals involved.

[jaxUp]

I would be unable to do this. I think some can...I have no idea how.

[Matty]

Yes. The idea of monogamy is recent, unnatural, and unsuccessful.

The trick is finding a girl who understands this. Preferably an Anthropology major. =]