OMFG: I just got recalled to active duty

[youtalkfunny]

I'm in total shock. This cannot be happening.

I got a certified letter today from the Department of Defense. I'm to report to the Memphis MEPS Monday, April 25, for in-processing. I'M BEING RECALLED FOR ACTIVE DUTY.

I'm 38 years old! I've sailed over 300 pounds! This has to be a horrible mistake!

I took the letter down to the local recruiting station, to see if there was anything they could tell me (that's the only local contact I could think of). The recruiter looked it over, and asked me if the letter was correct where it said my MOS was 98-G when I was a soldier. I told him that was correct.

98-Golf is "Electronic Warfare Specialist, Signal Interceptor/Operator". My job was to strap on some headphones in a tent in the DMZ, and listen in on the North Koreans. The job required a Top Secret security clearance, which was granted to me after an extensive investigation. I spent a year in the DoD's Foreign Language school in Monterey, CA learning Korean. From there, the plan was to send me to Fort Huachuca in Arizona to learn about the radio equipment, then on to Korea.

But the army booted my fat ass out just before I graduated the Korean school. I was honorably discharged, and told that they reserved the right to recall me to active duty.

BUT THAT WAS TWELVE YEARS AGO!

The recruiter told me that he has been told to keep an eye out for unusually smart applicants, and to steer them toward the language school MOS's. Half the kids who go to the recruiter looking for a job--especially in time of war--are there because they can't write their own name. It's very rare that they stumble into someone smart enough to handle the rigors of a 52-week crash course in a foreign language. I remember my original recruiter telling me this, how I had put up the highest test scores he had ever seen, and he knew I'd be perfect for Monterey's Foreign Language school.

And Arabic translators are in HUGE demand right now. The army is desperate for anyone who can put two Arabic words together. The re-enlistment bonuses offered to Arabic linguists are higher than any other MOS, including medical, including JAG.

"Wait a minute, sergeant," I interrupted. "Arabic? I went to the Korean school." Not to mention that I've forgotten 99% of it anyway....

"If you got one of those letters, and you're a 98-Golf, you're going back to Monterey." To learn Arabic. He asked if I did extremely well in the Korean school, and sure enough, I was tops in my class. He asked if my clearance ever ran into any snags, and they had not.

I can't freaking believe this. I feel like that Jack Ryan character in those Tom Clancy books I love so much. He keeps thinking he's finished, and the government keeps calling him back into service.

I was young and single my first go-round. Now I'm 38, married, three kids, wonderful home life, two of the kids started Little League this week for the first time...

"What about this?", I asked the recruiter, showing him two fistfuls of belly, with plenty left over.

"They're not going to worry about that this time. You're on the fast-track. Besides, you'll lose a lot of that in Basic."

Basic. TRAINING??? You can't be serious! Look at my knees! You saw me walk in here--and I'm using the word "walk" generously.

"Oh, it won't be like a normal Basic Training. It'll be a bunch of you older linguist guys. It'll still be demanding, but not the stuff that the kids go through. No gas chamber or anything."

Hell, I'd choose the gas chamber every day, over running a quarter-mile.

I'm still in total shock.

[youtalkfunny]

Oh yeah, you can disregard the "moving across country" thread now. Looks like Uncle Sam will be paying the freight.

[istewart]

If ever there was a need for this...



+

[pshreck]

I imagine a 300+ pounder going into basic training has a decent chance of death.

[Michael Davis]

I really like you, and am really sorry to hear this happened.

-Michael

[BottlesOf]

[pshreck]

Explain more.

Why can they call you up?

Surely you arent a reservist and weigh over 300 pounds?

[Chairman Wood]

That's quite a story, my God, I feel terrible for you. I wish you the best though.

[nolanfan34]

This is the sad kind of pwned.

[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Sponger15SB]

Why are you complaining? You knew this [censored] could happen. STFU and do your job that you signed up to do.