curb your enthusiasm, brad (has scabies)

[brad]

so anyway ive got scabies. like pubic lice but about 10 times worse. icky.

ever see that show that comes on before (maybe after) the sopranos, curb your enthusiasm? i just figured out the show isnt about how other people are weird, its about how larry (shows main guy) is a weirdo. heh. also just found out that kazaa has all the shows for download, so now im gonna have all next generation star trek and c.y.e. on my harddrive. i guess that makes me an ueber-schmuck. heh

so anyway the only uncomfortable question from the nurse / preliminary interviewer in the exam room wasnt whether i was a fag or not, it was when she goes 'and have you gone down ... ' . so i was just kinda stunned, i asked 'have i gone down on her?' , nod affirmative from nurse, and i sheepishly say, yes. so she asks me if i have any discharge or drip or whatever, and i say no, just a skin thing, youll see when you look at it, and she goes well im not going to look at it, and i go well i mean whoever is gonna look at it. whew. i feel like im being grilled here.

so the dr. comes in, hes got a resident or whatever with him hes teaching, i tell him i think ive got scabies, (im real familiar with it from internet, goddamn internet) we proceed to talk, resident asks questions and i answer most of them. dr. wants to give me lindane i tell him, no, permethrin, resident goes how do you spell, that, dr. says p-y, i interrupt him and say no i think its p-e-r.

im beginning to see why people think i give them a hard time. (doctors examining me and resident points to my genitals and says so that definitely means yeast infection ,heh, and i say, hey, dont touch that without gloves, he goes i know, and im like well yeah i guess more for your protection than mine. )

so anyway it turns out i had a yeast infection. i didnt even know guys could get a yeast infection.

for some reason dr. wrote me a scrip for 5% permethrin too, just in case, just in case i wouldnt shut up i guess.

so im leaving i tell the doc thanks (he says sure junior, hes been calling me junior for some reason) and say i hope i never see him again. heh

brad

p.s. ok so now ive got a scrip i dont need and 20 3 ounce bottles of 10% sulfur cream i was gonna use as a backup (another cure for scabies is to slathe sulfur cream over your entire body for 3 days. shower,slathe,shower,slathe,shower,slathe,shower,d one.- elapsed time 3 days.)

so if you see me in the casino and wonder why i smell like matches its cause ive got 20 jars of sulfur cream to get rid of. also if you need a scrip for 5% permethrin let me know before it expires.

daaa da-da da-da--da-da ...

[Boris]

Way too funny.

When I was in grad school I had a girlfriend that made me go through the entire battery of tests before any erotic type of activity was going to happen. Anyways, I had to go to the Berkeley Free Clinic for the HIV test. I'm in the waiting room and they guy sitting a few rows behind me starts talking in detail about the sore on his testicles that even the doctors can't seem to identify. Let's just say I wasn't real happy to be there.

[brad]

i left out a few funny parts like the lobby receptionist kinda yelling at me (ok, so im used to everybody kissing my ...) and the exam room notetaker girl who goes, ok, we're gonna draw some blood and then the dr. will come in, and im like what!?, hold the phone, lets have the dr. come in and *then* well see about drawing blood.

heh. they say the irritable patients do the best. i might live forever [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

When she asked "have you gone down," what did you think she meant, down to Costa Rica? [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

Wonderful post. As someone who's had a somewhat perculiar medical condition myself, and encounters with doctors who know less medicine than I do, and spell worse than I do, I really loved it. Other than hearing about your condition of course, which I hope gets better pronto.