Don't piss this girl off...Harshests email a guy could ever receive!!

[SackUp]

So I was talking to this girl from school today and she was telling me about this guy she went on a date with. Well apparently they slept together and he wasn't any good. So she decided to send him an email telling him this. She forwarded the email to me and this is what it said. @#%$ unreal!! Here is the contents of the email.


Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2005 10:20 AM
To: 'Eli
Subject: RE: yo.

Eli,

I'm glad to hear you're getting close to finding a job. I wish I could
say the same about myself.

Anyway, I'm not sure what your thoughts on last weekend are, but let me
fill you in on mine. First off, yes, you should have told me that you
were planning on driving up to SB. The way you did it was rude. It
was
rather unnecessary though--I wasn't planning on sticking around. But
more importantly, I feel as though I should give you some insight into
how to please a woman sexually. You're a nice, smart, talented guy,
but
I think you may be lacking in that area. Maybe it's your age, I don't
know, but I want to help you (and the next woman you sleep with) out.

1. It's important to try to seem interested. Signs that you may be
interested include, but are not limited to the following: taking her
clothes off, kissing her, fondling her breasts, giving her oral sex,
stimulating her with your hands/fingers, and giving audible groans of
pleasure. You did none of the above. I found this strange and
off-putting.

2. It's important to be a giver, not just a receiver. FYI, women want
to get off just as much as men do! However, there are things that a
man
may want to do for a woman in order to make this happen. These would
include some of the acts already mentioned in (1), such as oral sex.
Most women love oral sex. Now, I know, some men are weird about it,
but
if you're willing to receive, you have to be willing to give! You may
also want to consider some different sexual positions. The woman being
on top is normally great, however, be adventurous! Try something new!

3. Do not add insult to injury. After you've given a woman bad sex
(hopefully it won't happen again!), just let her be. She will be
somewhat in a state of shock. Do not talk to her, and more
importantly,
do not tell her you have to "get up early." She will want to leave as
soon as she's sober enough to drive. You do not need to insult her
even
more by trying to actively get her out of your apartment.

Eli, I hope the tips above will help you out in the future. I would
hate for another lovely female to go through what I went through last
weekend.

Regards,
Olivia


This guy is definitely going to kill himself. How @#%$ harsh is this?? WOW is all I can say. And who could the guy ever tell about this?? He's gonna have to sent and let it eat away at him. I can't wait to see if he writes back. This girl is gonna get derailed. Every minor flaw she could possibly have is gonna be brought out.

[willie]

yeah that's rough.....

[[censored]]

Why would he care? From what I can gather, he drives up, screws some girl getting himself off, and leaves. Does it sound like he gives a [censored] whether or not she enjoyed herself?

Seems like your run of the mill physco bitch to me.

[mantasm]

Olivia:

You're ugly. I was drunk. I don't care if you got off. I just wanted to do my thing and get you out of my apartment.

Best wishes,

Eli

P.S. You had a black hair on one of your nipples.

[kurosh]

He didn't kiss her, touch her tits or her vagina, yet [censored] her? She sounds like a grade A whore to me.

[ilya]

Sounds to me like he hurt her, so I'd say they're even now.

[Duke]

I think she's the one who got pwned.

~D

[daryn]

i don't get it. should he be bothered in some way? i'm serious.

[Leo99]

Not harsh at all. Dear Eli, I don't care about you. You spread your legs for me, I ef'd you. Now go away. I didn't care about pleasing you because you're a skank ho. No way I'm kissing your skank ho snatch.

[Matty]

I've gotten much harsher emails than that.

Edit: I think the best was when a girl threatened to murder my family in their sleep.