College Entrance Essays

Aren'tIFunny · #1 03-09-2005, 01:55 AM

I'm trying to get into this college, and they asked me to write an essay about my heritage. I hope this gets me in; and i really want to go to this school. I was wondering about your guys opinion.

My Heritage

There once was this poor Mexican family that had given up on their life and all of their personal dreams. They put forth all of their time and effort towards the betterment of their son. This meant of course that they would have to cross the border. They successfully did. The pregnant wife, Margarita made it over and so began the life of an American success story, Juan.
Juan tried very hard in elementary school and all the kids liked him. He was voted to be George Washington in the school play. Then came middle school, where all the girls wanted to be Juan's little love-muffin. He got good grades and all the teachers loved him even though he couldn't afford to buy them the expected apple on the first day. In high school Juan was voted prom king and the prettiest girl in the whole school was his prom queen. Juan got straight A's and went to Harvard. He was class president at Harvard and majored in politics, all the teachers liked him and he got really good grades. Soon enough, Juan was ready to enter the world of politics.
In a daring and courageous act, Juan took his popularity to his local hometown and ran for mayor. There were many signs put up that said vote for Juan. He beat the generic evil incumbent mayor by a landslide margin and everyone cheered very loud.
As his first act as the very popular mayor, Juan wanted to clean up the streets. That meant that the hobos had to go. Soon the hobo's were shooed off the streets with large canes. The people were very happy and frolicked in the street merrily without being heckled by the lazy "less fortunate."
The hobos had other plans.
One night when Juan was coming home from work they jumped him in the parking lot. Juan ran, he ran as fast as he could. Faster than a mongoose. Many of the hobos lost pace because they were lazy and because they had smoked too many cigarettes. Many continued hot on his trail with vengeance in their eyes. Juan entered the local golf course. "If i can make it to the forest, i will be able to escape these rabid hobos and eventually save the whole world" thought Juan. Juan took a look back and only one hobo remained. Juan had a 100 yard lead and was 30 paces from making it to freedom. The final hobo was determined. He saw a conveniently placed golf ball and driver laying next to the tee. In one clean motion the hobo (who was an ex-golf-pro that had gone crazy after he caught his wife having sex involving anal beads with his caddy), placed the golf ball on the tee and hit it with all his hobo strength. The ball went really fast and made a hole in Juan's liver and he immediately died, steps from freedom.
The hobo slowly set down the golf club. With the twinkle of the moonlight in his eye; he uttered a phrase that would be feared on golf courses for many years following.
"Now that's a hole in Juan."