Subject dear to Most here - the life lessons from watching porn

[daveymck]

01. Women wear high heels to bed

02. Men are never impotent

03. When going down on a women 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

04. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she wil not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

05. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

06. Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

07. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

08. Women always orgasm when men do.

09. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't [censored] unless there was a wild guitar solo.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they 'high five' each other ( and the girl isn't disgusted! )

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men and condoms don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of [censored] out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriends mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before [censored] both of you.

24. Women never have headaches.

25. When a women is sucking a man's cock, it is important for him to remind her to 'suck it'.

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

31. Pigtails = handlebars.

[Toro]

No need to continue the thread. You pretty much covered it all.

[ArchAngel71857]

You forgot the most important one:

ALL women are bisexual.

-AA

[cardcounter0]

In my life, I have learned all these lessons. In fact, they are so simple I don't see the point of even bringing them up.

[thirddan]

very funny, i like 28 the best...