Delete the spreadsheet (a glimpse into the mind of a short term loser)

[Irieguy]

I have commented before on the potential dangers of getting too wraped up in your spreadsheet. Nonetheless, I still keep very accurate records almost all of the time and have accumulated over 1000 SNG results at the $33 and $55 levels. So, I "know" what my ITM% and ROI% are and can wield those numbers like a porn-star's phalus when battling other 2+2ers with publicized endowments over the fine points of SNG strategy.

But I'm running badly right now. It got to the point where it was starting to feel like I shouldn't even bother playing a session... I should just enter -55 on my spreadsheet 4 times in a row and then go do something else. I realized I was at a psychologic nadir when I flopped a set of kings with a board of K-6-3 after getting all-in preflop. When the hands were revealed, and I saw my opponent's 7-7; I instantly thought "oh crap, he could make a running straight." He did, and I knew my head was wrong.

I rarely "quit" the game for very long, but starting a new business gave me the distraction I needed to cash out and take a break. Upon my return a week later, I lost 8 SNGs in a row and my ROI finally dropped below 20%. So, I moved down in limits. I dusted off my $33 spreadsheet and gazed lovingly upon my numbers. Then I kept on losing... and losing... and my $33 results were starting to look like my $55 results.

Then my problem became crystal clear: I'm an ITM junky. To make matters worse, it appears that I'm also physically addicted to any ROI >25%. When I can't get some ITM or my ROI drops too low, I get physically sick. I looked through the phone book for a support group, but there aren't any. I reviewed my addiction medicine resources, but couldn't find a medication to combat my withdrawal symptoms...

So I deleted my spreadsheet. That's right, It's gone. I no longer know what my ROI is. My only indication of success or failure is my bankroll, and that is hardly changing since my losing streak has forced me to move down so many times that at my current rate I'll be at the "play money" tables by Wednesday.

But the withdrawal symptoms are waning. I slept last night. I might play some poker later today... just for fun.

My name is Irieguy, and I'm an ITM addict.

PS- I didn't delete my $55 spreadsheet, that would be ridiculous. I need to know when it's time to move up to the $100's once I snap out of this streak, right?

[AleoMagus]

Out of everyone in the past three months or so... You are definitely my favorite new poster [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Regards
Brad S

[Irieguy]

Thank you for the kind words. But I must confess, I'm not a new poster. This handle is new, but I've been off and on this forum for at least 4 years. (Since back when Fossilman first started to solicit posters for money, explaining that it wasn't because he was broke... just because his wife wouldn't let him gamble with his income).

Irieguy

[AleoMagus]

too bad, you forfeit!

Now my favorite new poster is Paul Philips. Just as soon as they start playing regular $1000+ entry SNGs, maybe we'll see him in this forum. Doubtful even then I think.

I wonder how Raymer's wife feels about the multi-million dollar cut that his backers took this year. Though that other couple million is probably doing a good job of consoling her.

Regards
Brad S

[Rhinehold]

I know just how you feel! I was up and doing well, then started examing my play to find leaks. I don't know what happened but I've been dropping out of SnGs in 4th like a stone lately. Usually because of good play at innoportune times or someone just being lucky.

For example, I have AA and get all of my money in with a guy who has K9s. I wait until after the flop this time, which is rainbow because I've gotten hit with flushes before, before getting him to push in against me. He had 3 to the flush, what did he get? Yup, 2 running spades...

So, I stopped tracking, picked up a couple of books and started just reading for a while, and I took a few day's break from the game. Since I've been back I've finished 1st and 3rd in 3 SnGs so MAYBE I'm back to playing good poker again. MAYBE.

We'll see. I just wonder if I'll open the spreadsheets back up once I do start winning again?

[LinusKS]

[ QUOTE ]

But I'm running badly right now. It got to the point where it was starting to feel like I shouldn't even bother playing a session... I should just enter -55 on my spreadsheet 4 times in a row and then go do something else. I realized I was at a psychologic nadir when I flopped a set of kings with a board of K-6-3 after getting all-in preflop. When the hands were revealed, and I saw my opponent's 7-7; I instantly thought "oh crap, he could make a running straight." He did, and I knew my head was wrong.


[/ QUOTE ]

Been there.

It's amazing how running bad affects how you see the game. You begin to feel if there's any way you could be beat, you will.

What helps is being able to say, "Look, my long-range average is x. When my luck returns to average, it'll be x again."

If you play long enough, you're going to have a bad run. People who don't think so, haven't played long enough.