Funny Poker Table Stories

What are some things that have happened at the Poker table that you guys think are funny, or things that people say that are funny....


These are mine......


1) One guy won a hand and took down a nice pot the next hand he folded.....and looked over to me

and said I would have won that hand.....and in all honestly said, "i have to start learning how to play rushes."


2) I'm at the Taj playing 3-6 about...6 months ago

and this one older white lady was complaining about the bad cards that she was receiving...she was drinking wine all night long and she was telling me that the Asian Dealers give her the most problems.....she would muck her cards with an angered look....she then proceeded to contact a floor manager....she told him right in front of the table that she can't stand Asian Dealers and for a new Dealer to be brought out immediately that was not of Asian decent....

The floor manager she told this too was Asian...

and everyone at the table gave her a dirty look.....except the Floor Manager...which to me shows class....


Anyhow they brought in a new dealer, not for her, but because they change tables anyway, she was delighted it was a White Male, immediately the first hand she was dealt was Pocket AA.... she then looked over to me and said, "You see I told ya, the Asians just don't know how to deal"


Please share some of yours with me.....I need a good laugh.

Mikey- Cute stories and big smile for ya! [img]/images/smile.gif[/img] I don't know if you read my "sympathy fold" story below, but that play had us laughing big time! Here's another one: I was in a Bellagio 15-30 with a guy named Tim. I was out of the hand and it got heads up with Tim and another guy. On the turn the other guy checks- Tim bets- the other guy raises and Tim says" "BAD DOG". The other guy now starts barking ; Woof, woof. That one brought tears to my eyes!

This happened a while ago and I nearly had cramps in my stomach from laughing so hard.


Guy in first position has Jack Binions WPO hat on and has been playing really loose aggressive but loosing big time.....One of those guys who thinks he can bully everyone around.....He raises UTG and gets one other guy to play with him who reraises.


The UTG guy ends up winning with Q9 that hits the river for 2 pair. After UTG flips it over the other guy in the hand looks and says super sarchastically (and not in a steaming way)

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"I GUESS THAT"S WHY YOU GOT THE COOL HAT ON!!!!!"


The delivery had the whole table laughing.....


Allan

i have a TON of these type of stories, but for now here is one that still makes me laugh. i was playing in a 1-5 spread limit omaha split game and sometimes for fun a few of the players in this particular game would play there hands completely in the dark (maybe montana's answer to not having any pit games to throw your money away to, but anyways) one of these notorious "play'em in the dark guys" puts in every single raise and by the river has only one caller. now everyone at the table knows that this guy hasn't even peeked at his hole cards except for the lady who calls him down. she turns her hand over and it is second nut flush, second nut low and not but a few seconds later the dark guy turns over nut flush, nut low for a total scoop. now here is the kicker and i am not making this up someone says something to the effect of "what unbelievable hand to have in the dark" and the lady who called the hand down responds "you know there is no way i would have EVER called if i knew that he hadn't looked at his cards!!!!" she was absolutely dead serious about that last statement. i laughed till i was on the floor. anyone care to explain that one to me? later--J.Brown

About a year ago i was playing a 10/20 at the mirage while there was a 3 handed pot limit omaha 8 game (25 and 50 blinds) on the next game over. The asian lady was had about 15 thousand in front of her at the start of the omaha 8 game. She was yelling and screaming at every beat she took. About 2 hours into the game she stood while yelling at the top of her lungs that everyone in the poker room can go f*** themselves, ofcourse the whole upper section stoped to see what was happening. She then opened the drop box next to the dealer and dropped her last 2 stacks of green chips into the box, she told both of her opponents they will not get the money, then looked at the rest of the upper section and told us to go f*** ourselves and walked out of the room. It took about 3 or 4 minutes to get out game going again cuz everyone was laughing so hard.

I am playing shorthanded at the Taj....20-40..........they just have no clue how to play shorthaned....so what I did was, when i would beat this one well dressed guy, I would show him my hand...and say....."you see I wasn't bluffing" and he looks back at me and says in not a really nasty voice but you know a more depressed voice, "I know I know"


A few hands later, this other guy sitting next to him does the same thing that I did to him, he bets out his hand and the well dressed guy folds....and the man shows his hand just as I did.

He says "you see, I had a hand"

the well dressed man says in a real nasty voice, "OK OK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW ME YOUR HAND, ARE WE F&%@ing kids, or are we men"


Later on it's just me and the guy that imitated my play, the man who does what I do, so I look at him and ask him, "HEADS UP"....he looks at me...with a stare or dead seriousness...and says, now Picture the Rap Star BIGGIE, this is exactly what he looked like.


"you wanna play heads up?? It's gonna be

Seveni faave, One Mothaa F&$#ing FIFTY!!"....

Now I have $1000 in front of me, and I ask him

"TWENTY FORTY?"

he says, "Seveni faaave One Motha F#*$ing FIFTY"...

I started laughing....and said again "TWENTY FORTY??"

He says, "Hellz NO."


We both left the table and grinded it out at 10-20. While the well dressed man went to go and play 50-100 Hold'em.


"SEVENI FAAAVE ONE MOTHA- F$(%ING FIFTY!!"

I didn't witness this one, but I know several people who claim they did. A famous old lowball player in Gardena, by the time of this story a very old man, kept raising and kept being told "raise" by his female opponent. Finally, hearing her say "raise" one too many times he just called. She of course showed him a wheel; he had 6-4. [This was in the pre=jackpot days, so no jackpot.]


He stood up, unzipped his pants, removed his you-know-what, laid it on the table, and said, "I'd like to see you raise this."