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#1
01-29-2004, 05:54 PM
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Things that happened in Vegas and left Vegas (very long)
I went to Vegas this weekend with a couple of friends to play poker at
Bellagio and drink heavily. It was a great time and I came back with lots of stories. Names have been changed to protect the innocent [1]. This is going to be long, and there might be a lot of poker content to slough through for those unfamiliar with the game, but I hope you enjoy it. Thursday: My flight arrives in Vegas at 1pm on Thursday, and I'm psyched. Unfortunately, my friends won't be arriving until 10pm tonight. So I'm waiting in line for a cab, and start chatting with the couple behind me who are also going to the Bellagio, and we decide to split a cab. They're really nice, and won't even let me pay for my portion of the cab, claiming it would be like taking money from their grandkids. Whatever. A good start to the trip. They also mention the new movie The Cooler, which I apparently must go see. I get to the Bellagio, throw my stuff in the room, and head down to find a poker game. Open seating in the $15/$30, and I jump right in. I have a rather uneventful table, when a woman in her early 40s, Jackie, arrives and starts donating money to the table by playing just about every hand. Or at least she would be donating if she weren't winning with her trash cards. But she's friendly, and I'm having fun chatting with her, until the conversation turns suddenly very awkward: Her: 'So where are you staying?' Me: 'Right here at the Bellagio?' Her: 'Where at in the Bellagio?' I get the impression that I've just been asked for my room number. Other things adding to the awkwardness are the wedding rings on both of our hands and the fact that this conversation is taking place in front of the seven other people at the table. I tell her I've got a room with the guys that I'm staying with, and she continues chatting nonchalantly, but still brushing my arm or putting her hand on my shoulder occasionally. I could ask her to stop, or move seats, but I really like having her on my right for poker reasons [7], so I continue to be very friendly to her. Though perhaps I accrue some bad karma for doing this, because she proceeds to beat me a few times with her trashy hands. A little while after this, Eli arrives and taps me on the shoulder. He's thinking about playing in the $15/$30 or $30/$60, but the list is long for the $15/$30 and he takes a seat in $30/$60. A half-hour after that, he comes by telling me his game is really good, and that now would be the time to take a shot at $30/$60, and I decide to give it a go. I get called for the game, but it's not the table that Eli is in. A couple hands from my first $30/$60 game: There are a couple of fish at my table as well, and I'm pretty happy with the game, although a bit nervous playing for the high stakes. I get my first playable hand of AJo in late middle position, and there are two limpers to me. I raise, button (non-fish) cold-calls two (uh-oh), big blind calls and limpers call. Flop comes A63 rainbow, and now I know I'm stuck seeing this hand until the end. Player on my right bets out, I raise, and the button cold-calls two again (dammit!). Initial better calls. Turn is a 9, checked to me and I check because I think the button has AQ, but he surprises me and checks [2]. River pairs the 3, player on my right bets and we both call. He has A5, button has AT, and I scoop a $690 pot with my AJ. I'm suddenly up $400 and feeling good. So there are two really fishy players in my game. One is on my left and completely non-descript beyond the fact that he likes playing any suited cards for any number of bets. The other is on my right, a guy named Matt. Matt's an investment banker from New York who loves to bluff, and since he doesn't start with great cards, he has to bluff a lot. We got to talking about tennis, and he casually dropped that he had $10K on Srichipan to win the Australian Open on a 40:1 shot, so I don't feel bad at all for taking his money. But the most interesting thing about Matt was his girlfriend, a very attractive, exotic-looking girl in tight leather pants and short leather jacket showing lots of cleavage. Matt is paying her very little mind. At midnight, she wants to go out to a club, and Matt gives her a very non-committal answer. At 2, she says she's getting tired, and Matt tells her that he'll go after another two laps (20-30 minutes roughly). This makes me sad, because Matt is donating generously to this game. Another interesting part of this game is a girl that keeps coming up to one of the players in my game, and exchanging chips with him. I've never seen a very high-priced Asian call girl, but if I ever stopped to think of what one would look like, this would be it. About 5'3", 100 lbs., she is wearing super-tight white hiphugger jeans with white heels and a belly chain. She has breasts that were obviously bought and pushing the limits of her pink top, and just large enough to not look overambitious on her tiny frame. A flawless, porcelain Asian girl faces contrasts with her flaming red, obviously dyed hair. She turns every head at our table when she comes by, even Matt's girlfriend. I try to look at the amounts of chips they exchange, because I'm curious what a girl like that costs, but they are subtle and I can't see. Meanwhile, I am playing ABC poker and taking the money. I make no fancy plays, but get paid well on top pair, top kicker type hands, and find my self up $2K. Then this hand comes up: 3 people limp, and I have 88 in the cutoff, and I limp as well. Flop comes down Q85 with two clubs. Sweet! Big blind bets, two people call, I raise, and everyone that has a bet in calls the raise. Turn is a non-club 7. Checked around to me, and I bet. Big blind and another player call, and then Matt raises. It's possible that he has the straight, because 96 and 64 are playable hands in Matt's book, but I think there's a good chance I'm still ahead, and I'd like to charge these flush draws more. I reraise, and both players cold-call two, and Matt calls. River is an off-suit ten, and Matt bets into me. I think for a while and just call, and Matt shows J9 for the rivered straight. I watch Matt take the $1230 pot and I say 'Nice hand' to the guy who check-raised me on the turn with a straight draw and got there. I'm not even upset. I feel as though I have achieved poker Zen. Around 5 or so, I decide I'm too tired to be playing for this kind of money, even with a good lineup, and leave the game up $2,640. I feel absolutely giddy as I'm walking to the cage. As I get there, another guy comes up to the cage holding three and a half racks of blue ($1) chips with a big Cheshire cat grin on his face [8]. His grin fades slightly as he looks at my three and a half racks of $10 chips, but I look at him and tell him that if he keeps playing like he did tonight, he'll be in my game soon, and his smile returns wholeheartedly. I remember what it was like to win $250 at $4/$8 and feel great about it, and I don't want to be one of those f**kers that looks down on the low stakes players, like I didn't start there too. I play blackjack with Eli, and the only other player at our table mentions The Cooler, which I apparently must go see. After an hour of blackjack, we head back to the room thoroughly exhausted. I sadly note that Matt is still in the game, with a very hot, bored, and sleepy girlfriend still sitting behind him. I wanted to say something to him, but I didn't. Not really my place. Friday: Eli and I get breakfast around 1pm and discuss last night's poker adventure. We each stopped by each other's game several times last night, letting the other know that our game was good in case the other's game went bad. It was pretty amusing. Dan finally shows up at around 2pm, and we let him know about a no-limit tournament that starts at 5. He's done really well in NL tournaments, and although a $500 buy-in is a little steep, we're able to talk him into playing. I believe in him enough to even take 20% of his action. Eli and I make a $50 side bet about when he'll bust out. I give Eli the option of either drawing the line, or choosing over or under. He decides to draw the line at 8:30, and I immediately take the under. Even with Dan's skill, I would have put the line at 6:45. Over the next couple hours, I leave my game once in a while to sweat Dan a bit. The first time I swing by, he's got 99 and calls a raise in the BB with two opponents, but I leave immediately when the flop comes AKQ. Next time, he's got TT, pushes all-in and gets called by KQ [3]. I think I've got a good chance at winning my bet with Eli when a Q hits the flop, but a T on the turn keeps him alive and well in the tourney. I visit a third time and watch him double up with AA against K9 on a K-high flop. At some point I get up to go the bathroom, and as I'm walking out, a woman is walking out of the ladies room, and I gentlemanly let her go first. She decides to chat with me, asks what I'm doing and even puts her arm around me. This girl is not attractive [4], and I am thinking of a way to extricate myself from this situation, when divine intervention strikes. I break into a coughing fit, a leftover from the cold that I'm getting over, tell her that I'm just getting over the flu, and she leaves instantly. Also, the high-priced Asian call girl from last night comes back into the poker room, and I point her out to Dan, since I had mentioned her last night. Then she does something completely inconceivable [10]. She takes a seat in the $80/$160 game. I am speechless. I should learn a lesson about judging a book by its cover, or something like that. 8 o'clock comes around and Dan is still in the tourney with a medium stack. It's down from 100 players to around 30, and he seems to have a good chance of finishing in the money. I go to check him out at 8:15, and he's now very short stacked. Seems he ran into a problem somewhere along the way. Even worse, it looks like he's just going to hang around and bust out a little after 8:30. Eli and I go to watch at 8:20. We know he'll have to go all-in on any hand he plays because he is so short-stacked. At 8:26, he moves all-in. The small blind thinks about calling. And thinks. It's now 8:28. Eli and I discuss what constitutes him being out of the tourney. If all the chips are in the middle, and the dealer is just being slow about putting all the board cards out, is he still in? Still in requires a chip and a chair, but he wouldn't have any chips at that point. Anyway the point is moot as the blind folds at 8:29, and there's no more time for Dan to bust out, and Eli wins the bet. Dan busts out 10 minutes later, and we head out to get some food. We walk over to the Monte Carlo for some bar that the other guys like that -- I can't remember the name of it. Anyway, they order a huge cylinder of beer, and I get a black and tan and a pastrami sandwich. I include this in the trip report only because it was a damn good pastrami sandwich, and I'm a little sad that I can't recommend the place where I received this delicacy. Afterwards, we play a little more blackjack, and nothing really eventful here, although somewhere in the Monte Carlo there is a security tape of me mouthing the word 'Poontang' really slowly right at the camera. On a not unrelated note, they then decide that they need to go out and find some women. I'm married, and don't need to find women, so I decide to head back to the Bellagio to play poker a little more before getting some sleep. As fate would have it, during my walk back to the Bellagio, I am approached by two very fine looking women from North Carolina who want me to take their picture with Paris in the background. It turns out they are also going to the Bellagio, and are looking for single guys to go out dancing with tonight. Oh, the irony! I really wish I could have got a picture of them to show to Eli and Dan just to rub it in, but alas, no camera. Poker that night was uneventful, as I played smaller limits because I was drunk and a little tired and didn't have much in the way of cards. Also, for the third time, someone at the table told me about The Cooler, which I apparently must go see. I left after a little while, but stopped long enough to notice that high-priced Asian call girl had five racks of $20 chips in front of her at this point ($10K). Crazy. Saturday: I came here to play poker, and the poker will be played! I find another $30/$60 game, and jump right in. There's three fish in my game when I get there, though these fish don't seem to be nearly as fishy as the Thursday night fish. A couple of hands come up in my first hour: 88 in middle position, and I open-raise. Only the blinds call. Flop is A86, rainbow. I bet the whole way, but get check-raised by J5 of clubs when two more clubs hit the board. Ugh. 99 in early middle position, and I open-raise. Two cold-callers, and blinds call. Flop is 982. Lots of action, but I fold for one bet on the river on a board of JT982. Ugh. AK in middle position, and I open-raise. Only the blinds call, and the flop is AK3. Big blind calls me all the way, only to check-raise me on a final board of AK543. I call the check-raise in case he has two pair, but he has K2, and takes it down. The really sad part is that two hands later the fish that won with K2 (and giggled about it) whined and bitched up a storm when somebody rivered him with an open-ended straight draw, and left the game when his blinds came around. So this fish leaves and his replaced by Eli. That sucks. Then another fish leaves and is replaced by some guy who is Jennifer Harman's husband [5]. I only know this because Jackie (from Thursday) was standing behind me chatting with me while waiting for her game. Incidentally, I tried to talk her into sitting in the $30/$60 and playing with us, but she wasn't going for it. Meanwhile, Eli and Dan are both looking at me wondering who the hell this chick is that won't leave, but they can't ask because she won't leave. Then, our last fish in the game leaves only to be replaced by Mason Malmuth, co-author of Hold'em Poker for Advanced Players. So this game just went to hell -- the fish in the game took my money and left. I get up and take a walk. I come back to the poker room to get back in the $30/$60 sometime later, and get put back into the same crappy game. I ask to get on the list to change games before I even sit down, and wait an extra lap before posting. Unfortunately, I'm fourth on the seat change list, and the three people ahead of me are in this game. Then something good happens. One person leaves to be replaced by a fish. A second person leaves to be replaced by an average player, and then a third person leaves, and is replaced by the uber-fish. This guy was in Eli's game on Thursday night, and calls any amount of bets preflop with any suited cards or any ace. Sweet. The host offers me a table change now and I wave him off. So I'm now happy with my game, but not with my cards. I don't have any -- not even any blind stealing equity. I fold for an hour, which costs me $50 per lap in blinds, and there are about 5 laps per hour. Eli, meanwhile, is getting good hands and is quietly collecting chips. I get AQs in late middle position, and it's folded around to Eli, on my right, who raises. I three-bet his steal attempt, and uber-fish calls three cold on the button, and Eli calls. Flop is K-high, checked to me. I bet, uber-fish calls, and Eli turbomucks. Upon catching nothing on the river, I bet because I feel that I would have to call a bet from uber-fish anyway, who would have called all the way with Ace high. Except this time he had 55, and he calls and takes down the pot. Eli tells me afterwards that the river bet was unnecessary, since Uber-fish never bets a hand he isn't nearly certain is a winner. Then I fold for another two hours. Then I get QQ in early middle position and open-raise. Uber-fish, in the cutoff, is the only caller. Flop comes A73, with two diamonds. I bet, he calls. Turn is a non-diamond 8. Given uber's propensity for calling with any ace, I check, feeling confident that I can fold to his bet. He checks behind. River is a Jack of diamonds. I check again, uber bets, and now because I've played the hand so weakly that uber could confidently bet a Jack, I have to call him. He shows 64 of diamonds. Ugh. Then I fold for another hour. Meanwhile, Eli is getting monstrously good cards. Not only is he getting pocket Aces a ridiculous number of times, he's getting them at the right time. It's one thing to get Aces. It's another to have them when there was an early position raise and two cold-callers before the action gets to you. He has them four times in this game so far, and they never get cracked. In addition, he is stealing with near impunity at the end of this session because he is feared more than the Dread Pirate Roberts. Anyway, I get AQ in late middle again, and three bet another of Eli's steal raises. Uber-fish calls three cold on the button. Flop is 973 of clubs, and I have no clubs. Eli bets his worse hand, knowing I'll have to fold if I don't have a club, which I don't [6]. I fold for another hour, and get up to leave to go to dinner, down $2700 in the $30/$60 game. I'm bummed about losing, but glad that I didn't go on tilt and start trying to play my trashy cards for more than they were. I'm still feeling my poker Zen from Thursday night. The three of us head to CPK at the Mirage for some dinner, and then head out to the Venetian to try and settle a dispute between Eli and Dan. There was a blackjack dealer named Eric Kbale, who apparently is an ass. He dealt to Eli and Dan at some point. Eli swears that he dealt at the Mirage. Dan swears that he dealt at the Venetian. They swear to the tune of $100. So we go and ask the pit boss at the Mirage. He says he's never heard of him, but maybe he's on the graveyard shift. So then we ask the pit boss at the Venetian. He checks the books, and tells us that this guy absolutely does not currently work there. So much for that bet. We play blackjack at the Venetian for a little bit. It gets interesting when the count in one shoe gets ridiculously good. I barely pay attention to the count, and I knew it was good. When I looked over to see Eli betting $300, I knew it was real good. So I put out a couple green chips, and so does Dan. Dealer calls out the increase in betting, and the pit boss comes over to watch us. We leave one hand later at the end of the shoe, before we are asked to leave. We head back to the Mirage to have a drink at Ava. Dan runs into the bachelorette at a bachelorette party who is marrying the bachelor from the bachelor party he went to on Thursday night. Weird. Then we all decide to play the $10/$20 at the mirage, planning on raising a little hell. But first, Eli decides to ask the Mirage pit boss about Eric Kbale. Turns out he does work for the Mirage. Dan goes spastic, and starts doubting his memory about all other manner of things. He's not even sure his name is really Dan. Eli, meanwhile, adds another Benjamin to a wad of bills that seems to be stretching the limit of its rubber band. The $10/$20 games at the Mirage are pretty loose, and eventually we all get to the same table. Eli misreads a board early on and goes 6 bets on the river with top set on a KQ854 board. Oops. We rag on him for that. Then he folds a good hand to a turn raise when the guy who does the raising is absolutely shaking, a clear tell from Mike Caro's book that he has a monster hand. Except that it turns out the guy has Parkinson's disease, and his hands shake when he does absolutely anything. We rag on Eli a little more. Eli makes up for it by getting more Aces and winning monster pots with them, for which we have no response. Sometime later I pull off a move that has no name. Eli raises on my right, and I look down at AK and am about to three bet him. But super-drunk-fish on my left wants to reraise, which means he has a pair or two cards above 9, so I just smooth call. Super-drunk-fish reraises. Both blinds call, Eli calls, and then I reraise. Super-drunk-fish caps it. Eli and Dan both give me 'WTF?' looks. I feel great about getting lots of people trapped for the maximum pre-flop when I have the best hand, but have to fold on the turn on a J-high board anyway. Super-drunk-fish had pocket fours, but he lost because the small blind had a Jack. I still feel good about pulling off a cold-call-limp-reraise, though. It's getting really late, or kinda early, depending on your perspective, and Dan has to leave the game to catch his 7am flight. We all pack it in, each booking modest wins from the game despite some relatively crazy play. I'm sad to leave Vegas, but ready to go. This is the first time since I learned how to play poker that I've left Vegas with less money than I came with, but I had a lot of fun, and got some good experience playing in that $30/$60 game. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I have to leave now to go see The Cooler. Cheers, Avarice ----------------------------------------------- [1] There are no innocents in Vegas -- no names have been changed. [2] Yes, I know this is a weak-tight way to play this hand. I was still a touch nervous at this point, and I was thinking that the players in this game were better than they were. [3] Proof of the dead money in this tourney. I don't know much about no-limit play, but I do know that calling an all-in raise with KQ is just bad. [4] In fact, this girl is unattractive enough that I wonder afterwards why she thinks that I am in her league, and vow to get in better shape when I get back from Vegas. [5] Jennifer Harman is a professional player who was playing in the $1k/$2k game at the time. [6] I later found out he was betting A8 with the 8 of clubs, but uber-fish got the best of him on this hand anyway. [7] The kind of fish that calls too much is one I like on my right, so she already has called before I raise, and then will call that as well. Most fish will play slightly better and fold if they have to call two bets at once, so it's better to trap them for two bets one at a time [9]. [8] When I told this story to Dan and Eli, I said it was a sh*t-eating grin. Dan pointed out that it's a stupid expression, and I agree. Nobody that ate sh*t would be wearing that kind of grin, or at least a very, very low percentage of people, and even then it wouldn't be a very pretty grin. So I've decided I would no longer use that expression, and use 'Cheshire cat grin' instead until I come up with something better. [9] Yes, the footnotes are not necessarily in order. [10] I may not know what this word means [11]. [11] First or second reference to The Princess Bride, depending on whether you're the type of person to skip to the footnotes, or read them at the end. [12] Isn't if fun to read through all the footnotes? 
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#5
01-30-2004, 01:27 AM
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Re: Things that happened in Vegas and left Vegas (very long)
And I like oddball movies. And Macy. And Alec Baldwin. And I so wanted to like this movie. There was a great review in the L.A. Times and we ran out to see it immediately.
Oh well.
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