Revenge on neighbors

[vexvelour]

I have this bitch next door (I live in an apt complex) that will call the cops at the drop of a hat. If I close my front door too loud, the cops will be at my door and the next day I'll have a noise complaint. It's getting ridiculous because the walls here are like paper and I deal with noises from other neighbors. It's getting to the point where I'm going to get evicted if I make another sound, and it's [censored] terrible living like this.

I want to get back at her, but I don't know what she drives (otherwise I'd key her car). I had a great idea of getting totally trashed and puking on her doorstep, but she'd probably catch me and (surprise) call the cops.

You guys are awfully gross here on OOT, give me some ideas.

[Eurotrash]

drop a deuce in a paper bag, light it on fire, place on her doorstep. knock on the door and run.

[BoogerFace]

Have sex with her sister. Post pix on OOT.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

I'm pretty sure the only solution is to move out. Before you go, though, be sure to plant something inside the walls that makes some sort of annoying noise at random/opportune times and has incredibly long battery life (unless you want to run wires to power it!). This'll take some wall patching/painting effort, though. Be careful to rig it up so the noise only projects to her apt.

[housenuts]

get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

or, break a key off in her lock

[djoyce003]

cut her up into little pieces and feed her to a dog?

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

I used to live in an apartment that had thin walls, and this old couple turned me in for taking showers late at night. One time they waited until 3am or so to knock on my door and leave a nasty note. Pissed me off beyond belief. So I'd like some more information on this bitchy librarian neighbor you have so OOT and I can come up with something original and appropriate (although I do like the post pix idea already stated.)

Is she married or does she have a significant other?
How old is she?
What does she do for a living?
Does she have any roommates?
How much revenge are we talking about here? Merely annoying, epic, or something inbetween?

Anything else you can think of is appreciated. And please don't key her car...I'm sure we can think of something better.

ScottieK

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
but I don't know what she drives (otherwise I'd key her car).

[/ QUOTE ]
i believe you get your ass whooped for somethin' like this.

no need to key her car, thats damaging property. has she [censored] up your property yet? hey, here's a [censored]' splendid mature and adult thing to do, mozy your lazy ass over to her place and talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.

[/ QUOTE ]
BOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[pokerdirty]

everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[vexvelour]

Great ideas, the pee on a baking sheet one is awesome, and so is the rig one.

Scottie: I really don't know much about her. I never see her because her door is really no where near mine, but my living room wall is connected to her apt somehow. I'm fairly sure she's married or some crap like that.

BTW I was kidding about the keying the car thing. I have an RX8 and would be so uber pissed if someone keyed my car I'd probably start killing people at random.

Thanks for all the great ideas, keep 'em coming!

[housenuts]

do the cops do anything?

if it's happening all the time they are probably just as fed up as you are. just continue to do what you do. screw her. tell the cops she's an idiot and they should go talk to her for making false/irrational complaints.

find out her phone number and call her from payphones at 3am

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]

This should be coupled with whatever other dastardly deeds you use. The cops will eventually just figure that both of you are nut cases and will stop showing up altogether at some point.

[vexvelour]

Well, there are like 5 cops that live in the complex, and they just come over and explain how the walls are paper thin and to stop doing whatever I'm doing. They really don't care about my side of the story and are basically only coming to make this bitch feel better.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]


She is absolutely silent. Believe me, I thought of this.

[4_2_it]

If OOTers got a hold of her phone number I shudder to think of the consequences. Of course, I strongly discourage such childish activity.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]


She is absolutely silent. Believe me, I thought of this.

[/ QUOTE ]

then make something up. she should get the point.

[codewarrior]

What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[Eurotrash]

I don't understand why you're not at least considering the flaming bag of [censored]. it just might work.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]


hmmmmm, I like it.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't understand why you're not at least considering the flaming bag of [censored]. it just might work.

[/ QUOTE ]

too old school. besides, the bitch has bionic ears, i'd end up getting caught somehow.

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
hmmmmm, I like it.

[/ QUOTE ]
used condoms or the idea?

btw, i like the idea.

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]

This should be coupled with whatever other dastardly deeds you use. The cops will eventually just figure that both of you are nut cases and will stop showing up altogether at some point.

[/ QUOTE ]
And then you're free to just murder each other. This is how we end up with dead bodies that go undiscovered for months.

Also, does this woman not have a blog?

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
hey, here's a [censored]' splendid mature and adult thing to do, mozy your lazy ass over to her place and talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, this is OOT. Rational thoughts have no place here.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]
At least not with condoms. Condoms are for sailors.

[MelK]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, there are like 5 cops that live in the complex,

[/ QUOTE ]

Some sort of anti-cop bumper sticker on her car would work.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
hey, here's a [censored]' splendid mature and adult thing to do, mozy your lazy ass over to her place and talk to her about it. you would be surprised at what this could do.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have. She insists that me and my boyfriend stay up till 3 in the morning talking loudly and slamming our doors.

Meanwhile he works early and I go to school. We do neither of these things and I refuse to stand there and argue with her about my own doings. She has also told me that if I want to stay up late I should go in my (attached) garage and do it. She is completely irrational.

[MonkeeMan]

Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your bf while you scream and moan (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your bf is a bit of a stud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
And then you're free to just murder each other. This is how we end up with dead bodies that go undiscovered for months.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't this the ending we are trying to achieve?

[pokerdirty]

OP is a chick, dude

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
I have.

[/ QUOTE ]
step 2...used condoms.

your reply to my post should have been in the OP.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your gf while she screams and moans (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your gf is a bit loud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You mean my boyfriend?

And yes, this is a great idea. I think I'll try it when he gets home.

I gotta head out for a while but I'll check back later. Thanks for all the great ideas.

[FouTight]

[ QUOTE ]
OP is a chick, dude

[/ QUOTE ]

does this somehow make this idea less awesome?

[Freakin]

I assume you've already talked to building management? They should be able to tell you what constitutes breaking quiet hours...

I can't imagine that getting home and allowing your door to close on it's own is illegal.

If all else fails, cut her break cables.

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your gf while she screams and moans (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your gf is a bit loud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[/ QUOTE ]

You mean my boyfriend?

And yes, this is a great idea. I think I'll try it and post a videowhen he gets home.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]
At least not with condoms. Condoms are for sailors.

[/ QUOTE ]
filthy buggers going port to port.....


and to the OP: wait till she's having company (preferably parents)and have an escort service/ strip club send over some dancers for a girl on girl or guy on guy show.

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/11-18-05-condoms/ichiban.jpg

[pokerdirty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's her address? Have random ootiots mail her used condoms.

[/ QUOTE ]

no OOTiots have sex though

[/ QUOTE ]

http://i.somethingawful.com/inserts/articlepics/photoshop/11-18-05-condoms/ichiban.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

haha dex, we KNOW you didn't use them. granted, it was your wife /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[nothumb]

Go confront her face to face and tell her she's being a lunatic. It's a lot harder for people to screw each other when they actually have met the person. She probably has some ridiculous fantasy about how you look and act that has nothing to do with real life.

You need to speak to this person at least once, tell her she's behaving like an idiot and ask her to stop. If she doesn't, plant some drugs in her car.

NT

[FouTight]

[ QUOTE ]
Go confront her face to face and tell her she's being a lunatic. It's a lot harder for people to screw each other when they actually have met the person. She probably has some ridiculous fantasy about how you look and act that has nothing to do with real life.

You need to speak to this person at least once, tell her she's behaving like an idiot and ask her to stop. If she doesn't, plant some drugs in her car.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

and for my 4000th trick... I will not read the thread

[JonPKibble]

I used to live in a second floor apartment in a 2 story apartment complex, I would play DDR at 11:30 AM and the old people downstairs would complain to the super because they needed to get in their afternoon nap. Good thing I was in the process of closing on my house.

[BCPVP]

Step 1: Get/borrow your bf's paintball gun and get some paintballs.
Step 2: Get a syringe.
Step 3: Use the syringe to suck out the paint and replace with something like paint thinner/stripper.
Step 4: Find the bitch's car and pepper it.

Borrowed from this evil book I saw in a Barnes and Noble talking about how to get revenge.

Or try the bed suggestion.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to live in a second floor apartment in a 2 story apartment complex, I would play DDR

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh my aching ass. I'm glad I was out of apartments/dorms before this got big.

[Easy E]

[ QUOTE ]
Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your bf while you scream and moan (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your bf is a bit of a stud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I had the same idea. At least you'll find out if she has a significant other. And you'll get more "satisfaction" out of this revenge method than any others! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Just make sure to do this during reasonable hours so the 3 a.m. argument can't be used against you.

[brettbrettr]

Just keep slamming doors. Eventually, the cops will ignore her. Then you can too.

[Amid Cent]

Rent some really raunchy porn. I would recommend something with horses or donkeys. Put the DVD on repeat. Turn your speakers around so they are right against the wall. Hit play. Go away for a long weekend.

[phil_ivey_fan]

[ QUOTE ]
If OOTers got a hold of her phone number I shudder to think of the consequences. Of course, I strongly discourage such childish activity.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm so f-king game for some "soundboard prank calls"

[Guernica4000]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Move your bed up against the adjoining wall and bang the [censored] out of your gf while she screams and moans (even more than usual). When the cops come, tell them sheepishly that your gf is a bit loud, but you have every right to enjoy sex in the privacy of your home. Do this whenever the bitch has company over and all times in between. She'll move out or ask to join you.

[/ QUOTE ]

And yes, this is a great idea. I think I'll try it when he gets home.

I gotta head out for a while but I'll check back later. Thanks for all the great ideas.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow her boyfriend is going to be very happy with whoever posted this.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMFAO. Am I the only one around here that actually pees on stuff to mark my territory? I just got a new bed today, first thing I did was whiz all over it.

Is that normal?

<font color="white"> I'm not being serious, just in case someone is that dumb. </font>

Depending how evil you are feeling...

This is only slightly illegal. Just a "minor" federal offense for mail tampering. Do this at your own risk.

If you can get to her mail, write "RETURN TO SENDER: RECEPIENT DECEASED" on the envelopes.

This will potentially take months or even years to straighten out.

[kipin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMFAO. Am I the only one around here that actually pees on stuff to mark my territory? I just got a new bed today, first thing I did was whiz all over it.

Is that normal?

<font color="white"> I'm not being serious, just in case someone is that dumb. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow are you serious?

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMFAO. Am I the only one around here that actually pees on stuff to mark my territory? I just got a new bed today, first thing I did was whiz all over it.

Is that normal?

<font color="white"> I'm not being serious, just in case someone is that dumb. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow are you serious?

[/ QUOTE ]

You aren't good with this Interweb thing, are you?

[TheBlueMonster]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMFAO. Am I the only one around here that actually pees on stuff to mark my territory? I just got a new bed today, first thing I did was whiz all over it.

Is that normal?

<font color="white"> I'm not being serious, just in case someone is that dumb. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't know how many people read the white print btw

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
"RETURN TO SENDER: RECEPIENT DECEASED"

[/ QUOTE ]


This is friggin awesome, but no dice. Each mailbox is locked.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Go confront her face to face and tell her she's being a lunatic. It's a lot harder for people to screw each other when they actually have met the person. She probably has some ridiculous fantasy about how you look and act that has nothing to do with real life.

You need to speak to this person at least once, tell her she's behaving like an idiot and ask her to stop. If she doesn't, plant some drugs in her car.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

and for my 4000th trick... I will not read the thread

[/ QUOTE ]

Crap, didn't even realize I was coming up on a milestone like that...
NT

[JonPKibble]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I used to live in a second floor apartment in a 2 story apartment complex, I would play DDR

[/ QUOTE ]
Oh my aching ass. I'm glad I was out of apartments/dorms before this got big.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you ever hear about the guy who lost like 300 lbs playing DDR?

Man, if only I had his ambition.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
get a really thin baking sheet with little edges. piss in it, freeze it, and then slide it under her door upside down. it will melt and she'll have piss all over her floor

[/ QUOTE ]

Plus that means her apartment becomes your property forever.

[/ QUOTE ]

LMFAO. Am I the only one around here that actually pees on stuff to mark my territory? I just got a new bed today, first thing I did was whiz all over it.

Is that normal?

<font color="white"> I'm not being serious, just in case someone is that dumb. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow are you serious?

[/ QUOTE ]

LoL, I trick good.

[shant]

Get one of those saws that handymen use to cut drywall and cut her whole apartment out of the complex with her in it and use a flatbed truck to move it to Iraq.

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
Get one of those saws that handymen use to cut drywall and cut her whole apartment out of the complex with her in it and use a flatbed truck to move it to Camden.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[benthehen]

Goto the phone book and call up about a couple hundred or so businesses. Businesses like exterminators, lawn care, maids, cable company, phone company, anything that involves an appointment where someone comes to the house. So what you do is make a couple hundred or so appoints to this ladies apartment on the same day within the same couple of hours. Then, as the herd of business trucks, vans, and cars start accumulating at her apartment, call up the local news station and tell them "something big is going on at such and such street." You're prank will make it to the front page news, and if you could get evicted for slamming your door too loud then this bitch will certainly get evicted once they blame her for causing such havoc.

I use to live in a old house that was attached and the walls where very thin. If he was going up the stairs it sounded like he was in my place.
Anyways he would always complain to us and the landlord, a real pain. In the basement over the ducts there was no drywall and i could see the light from his place, so i would always exhale when i smoked weed over into his place. He loved to smoke but was always broke and would ask if i had any to spare. I always told him no and then would continue doing it.

[Jim Kuhn]

This thread reminds me of what happened to my brother and his wife. They had company over and someone called all five pizza places and ordered two large pizza's to be delivered to his house.

The first one they thought it was the wrong address but then three or four showed up at the same time. They think the culprit was her ex husband. I was lmao.

Thank you,

Jim Kuhn
Catfish4u
/images/graemlins/spade.gif /images/graemlins/diamond.gif /images/graemlins/club.gif /images/graemlins/heart.gif

[astroglide]

funny, but really crappy for the drivers, the owners of the pizza place, and the legit customers who waited for a bogus run before they could get their food delivered

Obtain their VIN number from their car (located by windshield), write down their license plate number, call the police (non-emergency number) from a payphone and report the car stolen.

...or simply steal the license plates and throw them away in a dumpster.

...or both.

[edfurlong]

[ QUOTE ]
Obtain their VIN number from their car (located by windshield), write down their license plate number, call the police (non-emergency number) from a payphone and report the car stolen.

...or simply steal the license plates and throw them away in a dumpster.

...or both.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't you have to sign a police report for a stolen vehicle?

[MrMon]

Respond to a Nigerian scam in her name. Give her phone number.

Sign her up for those sweepstakes in the mall. If you read the fine print, they usually involve giving permission to call her via phone for other offers.

Sign her up for a bunch of magazines and check the "Bill Me Later" box. Porn if you can.

[jokerthief]

First talk to her. Try to reason with her and be professional. Explain your position with logic and no emotion. If that doesn't work fight fire with fire. Call the cops whenever you know she is home.

Another revenge technique is to superglue her locks when you know she isn't home.

[Cancuk]

[ QUOTE ]
drop a deuce in a paper bag, light it on fire, place on her doorstep. knock on the door and run.

[/ QUOTE ]

No originality.

[BCPVP]

[ QUOTE ]
If that doesn't work fight fire with fire. Call the cops whenever you know she is home.

[/ QUOTE ]
You don't see anything wrong with wasting the cops' time with bogus complaints? Leave the cops out of this and take matters into your own hands.

[jokerthief]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If that doesn't work fight fire with fire. Call the cops whenever you know she is home.

[/ QUOTE ]
You don't see anything wrong with wasting the cops' time with bogus complaints? Leave the cops out of this and take matters into your own hands.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm in Machiavelli mode. I don't know how I would handle the situation.

[BCPVP]

I would have first done what you suggested and if that failed it's open war. I wouldn't be distracting cops with false complaints (which could probably get you in trouble as well).

[Vavavoom]

One that works over here....

Place an advert in the local paper - advertising something like an xbox or similar limited availability product and put her telephone number with it ! Obviously u lower the price to a believable but a cheap level....

Guaranteed action non-stop...she will change her number as a result....


Possibly a PS2 with 8 games.....great condition....$150...

U will know what will be a good offer without being too ridiculous....As its xmas time coming up this should get her inundated with calls...

[Blarg]

Have you talked to the landlord about this?

I had a similar situation once. There was an old lady who lived in the next apartment sharing my wall. I would turn on the t.v. when I got home and immediately she would start pounding the walls. Now, this was for the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour on PBS, just talking heads, and it wasn't very loud.

Complaint after complaint, and it intermittently got me feeling really weirded out. Several times the landlord's dad came in and looked around and saw that the t.v. wasn't loud at all. But still more complaints.

Finally I told the landlord look, this isn't a prison and there is no way in heck a tenant can expect not to hear another tenant. There are laws against making too much noise and it's a great thing we have them, but I'm not violating any of them. There's no way that turning on a t.v. at a moderate level at 6 p.m. is unreasonable. The landlord finally agreed with me and spoke to the crazy lady and things were fine.

I think you should really make the case to your landlord in a responsible, clear way, in person if at all possible. BEFORE it becomes a crisis. Way before.

You should also, if you write letters, keep copies and show them to the police if they show up so they can see that there is an ongoing dispute, you have been contacting your landlord about it, and the crazy lady is not on the right side of this thing. Ask the landlord if you can call him if the police show up any more, right when they are there, so the police can verify to their satisfaction that you are in fact being reasonable and have your landlord's support. Show them the landlord's business card or stationery so they can verify you're really speaking to the landlord, if you get to make the call.

Having written and reasonable documentation regarding this kind of thing is always very helpful, and will go a long way toward making your case clear and convincing to others. Don't always be reacting to this and at the mercy of a stranger's craziness; be the initiator in getting it resolved before it really blows up in your face and you or the old lady wind up doing something nus out of anger.

[ QUOTE ]
Have you talked to the landlord about this?

I had a similar situation once. There was an old lady who lived in the next apartment sharing my wall. I would turn on the t.v. when I got home and immediately she would start pounding the walls. Now, this was for the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour on PBS, just talking heads, and it wasn't very loud.

Complaint after complaint, and it intermittently got me feeling really weirded out. Several times the landlord's dad came in and looked around and saw that the t.v. wasn't loud at all. But still more complaints.

Finally I told the landlord look, this isn't a prison and there is no way in heck a tenant can expect not to hear another tenant. There are laws against making too much noise and it's a great thing we have them, but I'm not violating any of them. There's no way that turning on a t.v. at a moderate level at 6 p.m. is unreasonable. The landlord finally agreed with me and spoke to the crazy lady and things were fine.

I think you should really make the case to your landlord in a responsible, clear way, in person if at all possible. BEFORE it becomes a crisis. Way before.

You should also, if you write letters, keep copies and show them to the police if they show up so they can see that there is an ongoing dispute, you have been contacting your landlord about it, and the crazy lady is not on the right side of this thing. Ask the landlord if you can call him if the police show up any more, right when they are there, so the police can verify to their satisfaction that you are in fact being reasonable and have your landlord's support. Show them the landlord's business card or stationery so they can verify you're really speaking to the landlord, if you get to make the call.

Having written and reasonable documentation regarding this kind of thing is always very helpful, and will go a long way toward making your case clear and convincing to others. Don't always be reacting to this and at the mercy of a stranger's craziness; be the initiator in getting it resolved before it really blows up in your face and you or the old lady wind up doing something nus out of anger.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is intelligent and appropriate, but not fun at all.

[pudley4]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Have you talked to the landlord about this?

I had a similar situation once. There was an old lady who lived in the next apartment sharing my wall. I would turn on the t.v. when I got home and immediately she would start pounding the walls. Now, this was for the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour on PBS, just talking heads, and it wasn't very loud.

Complaint after complaint, and it intermittently got me feeling really weirded out. Several times the landlord's dad came in and looked around and saw that the t.v. wasn't loud at all. But still more complaints.

Finally I told the landlord look, this isn't a prison and there is no way in heck a tenant can expect not to hear another tenant. There are laws against making too much noise and it's a great thing we have them, but I'm not violating any of them. There's no way that turning on a t.v. at a moderate level at 6 p.m. is unreasonable. The landlord finally agreed with me and spoke to the crazy lady and things were fine.

I think you should really make the case to your landlord in a responsible, clear way, in person if at all possible. BEFORE it becomes a crisis. Way before.

You should also, if you write letters, keep copies and show them to the police if they show up so they can see that there is an ongoing dispute, you have been contacting your landlord about it, and the crazy lady is not on the right side of this thing. Ask the landlord if you can call him if the police show up any more, right when they are there, so the police can verify to their satisfaction that you are in fact being reasonable and have your landlord's support. Show them the landlord's business card or stationery so they can verify you're really speaking to the landlord, if you get to make the call.

Having written and reasonable documentation regarding this kind of thing is always very helpful, and will go a long way toward making your case clear and convincing to others. Don't always be reacting to this and at the mercy of a stranger's craziness; be the initiator in getting it resolved before it really blows up in your face and you or the old lady wind up doing something nus out of anger.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is intelligent and appropriate, but not fun at all.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's what blarg is here for - a little rational thought in the midst of the asylum.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]

It's what blarg is here for - a little rational thought in the midst of the asylum.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ayyyy, matey, that suggests the rest of us sea-riding scum are not uv sound moynd, ARRRRRRRRRRR! We be resentin this slurrrr, ya lubberrrr, on aaaall the gold of ole Jamaicy we be betting we be sawnd in the head!

I am very am very disappointed in all of you. I cannot believe you are making these kinds of suggestions for revenge. Flaming bag-o-poop, frozen urine tray under the door, phony phone calls, bogus pizza deliveries. You should all be ashamed...for not realizing that you cannot enact revenge on your home turf. If something happens at the apartment complex it will pretty clear who the perpetrator/plotter is. You need to make suggestions for things that will occur away from home. e.g. flaming bag of poop outside her place of work.

[djoyce003]

put an ad in the paper for a garage sale at her apartment...put lots of things in there like baby clothes, tools, fishing tackle.....stuff everyone wants to go buy at a garage sale...early birds welcome...if you know her phone number that's even better....put her apartment number down...they'll be beating it down at like 7 on a saturday. Classic.

[jaydub]

This can be taken further.

Steal someone else's plates, take her's off and put there's on. Break into her car and put a fair amount of whatever drugs you can get ahold of, a small amount of ammunition, and several very small ziploc bags. A good place to hide it all would be in the rear pocket of a front seat.

[Shajen]

"She lets the annoying neighbor lady go. She waits until her husband and kids are in the ground and then she goes after the rest of the tenants. She kills their kids, she kills their wives, she kills their parents and their parents' friends. She burns down the apartments they live in and the stores they work in, she kills people that owe them money. And like that she was gone. Underground. Nobody has ever seen her since. She becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. "Rat on your pop, and Vexvelour will get you." And no-one ever really believes."

[vexvelour]

Actually I have spoken to the management, Blarg. They don't care, because I'm 22 and that means I obviously make more noise than her because she's in her 30's or so. On top of all of this, I have complained 10 times to the office about the people above me that ACTUALLY DO make a crazy amount of banging and stomping noise...and when I asked yesterday to show me how many complaints they actually delivered...none.

I f'in hate this apt complex.

By the way, great contributions gents...I'll be cracking up all day.

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
"Rat on your pop, and Vexvelour will get you." And no-one ever really believes."


[/ QUOTE ]


I almost peed myself laughing at this one.

[Blarg]

Are you friends with any of the neighbors? A statement from a few of them that you're quiet would be good supporting evidence.

[arod15]

call the cops on her. Say you heard shots fired at her house. There will be 10 cops there in a matter of minutes....

[vexvelour]

Nah, from what I can tell pretty much everyone that lives in this complex is a douche in some way or another and I want nothing to do with any of them. Good idea, though.

[MelK]

[ QUOTE ]
Nah, from what I can tell pretty much everyone that lives in this complex is a douche in some way or another

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't be so hard on yourself. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[4_2_it]

So what did you do last night? We need an update. Pictures are always helpful.

I am surprised no one has suggested letting a rabid mongoose loose in her apartment.

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
drop a deuce in a paper bag, light it on fire, place on her doorstep. knock on the door and run.

[/ QUOTE ]

No originality.

[/ QUOTE ]



I wasn't aiming for originality so much as something that might annoy the neighbor. plus, I've never known anybody who tried a method this old.

[Blarg]

I was thinking a shark in the toilet.

[4_2_it]

[ QUOTE ]
I was thinking a shark in the toilet.

[/ QUOTE ]

Piranhas are easier to transport and can be quite ill-tempered.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was thinking a shark in the toilet.

[/ QUOTE ]

Piranhas are easier to transport and can be quite ill-tempered.

[/ QUOTE ]
Can they have lasers?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]


She is absolutely silent. Believe me, I thought of this.

[/ QUOTE ]


then make something up. she should get the point.

[/ QUOTE ]

seriously, say you hear loud noises like sex, if she says she has no one there say maybe she should stop masturbating so loudly

[Army Eye]

[ QUOTE ]
Rent some really raunchy porn. I would recommend something with horses or donkeys. Put the DVD on repeat. Turn your speakers around so they are right against the wall. Hit play. Go away for a long weekend.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was thinking something like this.. only instead of a porn I was thinking play this song (http://aadas.com/stupidravershithead.mp3) at full volume, on loop for a full weekend

[RatFink]

U.S. Postal Service website. Fill out a change of address form for her.

Then fill one out for yourself, and move.

[ZeroPointMachine]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Obtain their VIN number from their car (located by windshield), write down their license plate number, call the police (non-emergency number) from a payphone and report the car stolen.

...or simply steal the license plates and throw them away in a dumpster.

...or both.

[/ QUOTE ]


Don't you have to sign a police report for a stolen vehicle?

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't steal the license plate. I like to use Photoshop to create expired decals and glue them over the current decal.

[Voltron87]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
everytime you hear her move, call the cops for a noise complaint.

[/ QUOTE ]


She is absolutely silent. Believe me, I thought of this.

[/ QUOTE ]


then make something up. she should get the point.

[/ QUOTE ]

seriously, say you hear loud noises like sex, if she says she has no one there say maybe she should stop masturbating so loudly

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

[WLVRYN]

I'm not sure if your [censored] apartment was like mine, but I had a huge gap between the bottom of the front door and the floor. I used to have to put a towel there when it rained to keep the water out. If that's the case in your building, then I highly recomment going to the pet store and getting a couple of mice and letting them go under her door. That ought to keep her occupied for a while and help you grin in victory undetected.

Oh yeah, get the [censored] out of that place too.

Had a similar thing happen to me. I'd get the "stomp of dissaproval" from my upstairs neighbor all the time. One saturday morning when a car drove by in the parking lot with lots of bass - I got the stomp. I had to laugh... they were annoying as all get out - but never called the cops on me.

My revenge was more noise. I had a new amp - turned on my synth - made it go subsonic, so that you couldn't really hear anything, but you could 'feel' it.. [censored] would rattle. .. and I'd leave for the day. It was cool because you couldn't exactly tell where the sound was coming from.

If anything - it made me feel better.

Well, it’s too bad we don’t have more information on your mark. Whatever you decide to do, seems like you’ll have to move. :S But here are some suggestions I haven’t seen on here.

Mild: If you know her phone number, you can always set a fax machine to call her up with “redial if busy” set. Since she likes noise so much.

Medium: There should be a way to poke a needle into her apartment. Maybe through the door or the wall you share? If so, get a syringe with an extra-long needle. Fill the syringe with some nasty sulfur-smelling crap or whatever, and inject it into her apartment when she’s not around. Fumigate her ass. May also work for her car.

Hot: If you know where she works, make a mock resume for her and post it on Monster.com. Make sure to create an anonymous e-mail account for this purpose only. Give reasons for wanting to quit like “this place is too loud, I hate my boss, all my co-workers are backstabbers,” etc. Call her place of employment and get their fax number. Fax in some BS replies to her resume from some companies around town, and attach the resume. Make them look official. Be sure to include references to the Monster.com ad and previously mentioned language about bosses and co-workers. You can also call her work and ask for her boss. See if you can get a reference. Great for a-hole co-workers, but may work here.

Good luck!

ScottieK

[Recliner]

Leave this somewhere when you move (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/79be/)