4 Days Clean: My Airplane Trip (no probs) and my biggest regret

Hi All,

I really don't know why I am posting this on here out of all the places to possibly post this.

Well, I was able to fly with no problems. In fact, I actually got lucky. I wore a pair of jeans I "never" wear and there was a little baggy that I had left in there. When they searched me at the airport they never even noticed it. I didn't notice it until I went into the bathroom before getting on the plane (I threw it away).

As far as not using. Well, I didn't really think it would be this tough. Everybody (I include "everybody" to just mean friends, family, and MD's, not couselors.) told me it would be easier than quitting smoking. Well, everybody was wrong. It hasn't been hard like with smoking, where you are constantly trying to figure out a way to get a cigarrette. It has been amazingly hard mentally.

I had talked to a lot of counselors before I had left, and they had all told me that even though I had only been doing it a short while, the amount I had been consuming could possibly have effects that I wasn't prepared for; especially if there were other "mental problems" that I wasn't aware of. Well, they were right. I don't think I have ever slept so much in my entire life. My first 48 hours clean and I think I slept about 36-40 of those.

Anyways, without having to get into to many specifics of the matter (because of the risk of my identity being found out), cocaine really isn't something to be taken lightly. If you are using it beyond a recreational level (which if you have enough will power to do that, that is amzaing to me), please don't quit on your own. I am not saying go to a hospital. But, make sure you have people around WHO KNOW that you are quitting. Tell these people every thought that you are having. I know many people that have done it longer than me and who are weaker than me have quit. But, I don't know how they got through these horrible pervading thoughts.

Anyways, this is much harder than I thought it would be and I can only hope that these withdrawal symptoms (all mental) will only go away very soon.

Somebody had mentioned in antoher post that I should go to a hospital. I am starting to think that maybe they are right. Does anybody know how much longer I can expect these mental effects to last? My last night of doing it, I was up to 1.75 eight balls in about an 8 hour period.

[kerssens]

good luck, keep it up!

[RunDownHouse]

Are you feeling suicidal? Its hard to help without more specifics on exactly what the mental symptoms are.

[Voltron87]

good luck man. take it one step at a time.

[Boris]

hang in there Jake!

[ZBTHorton]

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hang in there Jake!

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[Stuey]

I have no personal experience here but I just want to say hang in there.

[pokerstudAA]

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there was a little baggy that I had left in there. When they searched me at the airport they never even noticed it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Be smart with your drugs allways know where your stash is - after all that worry you fly with a bag of coke anyways. IDIOT!

[jakethebake]

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hang in there Jake!

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Dammit! Stop that! It's not me! /images/graemlins/mad.gif

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there was a little baggy that I had left in there. When they searched me at the airport they never even noticed it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Be smart with your drugs allways know where your stash is - after all that worry you fly with a bag of coke anyways. IDIOT!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, I should have been more specific. There was nothing in the baggy, except for maybe residue on the sides. It wasn't like there was actually anything worth doing. The reason I put "never" when I mentioned wearing the pants, was that I guess one time I had worn them and stuck the finished bag in there. Why would I bring drugs when I was leaving to quit?

[Boris]

lol. ook. I just wonder how you can get to 14k+ posts in less than a year w/o performance enhancers.

[pokerstudAA]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
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there was a little baggy that I had left in there. When they searched me at the airport they never even noticed it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Be smart with your drugs allways know where your stash is - after all that worry you fly with a bag of coke anyways. IDIOT!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, I should have been more specific. There was nothing in the baggy, except for maybe residue on the sides. It wasn't like there was actually anything worth doing. The reason I put "never" when I mentioned wearing the pants, was that I guess one time I had worn them and stuck the finished bag in there. Why would I bring drugs when I was leaving to quit?

[/ QUOTE ]

The Police at the airpoirt wont care that you were quitting and they wont care that it is only residue.

It is like leaving roaches in your ashtray or old bags of weed in your car. Just dont do it. Know where the evidence is and dispose of it - there is no need to take unnecessary risks. Responsible drug use /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[jakethebake]

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...in less than a year...

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/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Boris]

ok ok, 18 months.

[Cancer Merchant]

Doesn't your nose itch? There's only one cure for that.

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]
My last night of doing it, I was up to 1.75 eight balls in about an 8 hour period.

[/ QUOTE ]

how many grams in an 8 ball?

[speirs]

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Doesn't your nose itch? There's only one cure for that.

[/ QUOTE ]
Amputation?

[Smackdab]

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My last night of doing it, I was up to 1.75 eight balls in about an 8 hour period.

[/ QUOTE ]

how many grams in an 8 ball?

[/ QUOTE ]

3.5

[Slow Play Ray]

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My last night of doing it, I was up to 1.75 eight balls in about an 8 hour period.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is absolutely amazing to me.

[mike l.]

"As far as not using. Well, I didn't really think it would be this tough."

yeah i had the same problem when i quit poker.

[Max Raker]

First off, let me say thank you for all of your posts. I am going through something similar. I will share my history with you, as you were kind enough to do with us. I have gone through undergrad and two years of grad school. I never touched the stuff in undergrad, combination of not having enough money and never having friends that were really into it. I tried it for the first time my first year of grad school, i was 22. I thought it was ok, but nothing really special. I had done done E before and thought that it was much better, so i never really thought about coke.

Fast forward to this summer. I decided to take the summer off and play poker. A few weeks in my bank roll was good enough to buy a one way ticket to Vegas. (Granted it was only like 7 grand but i wanted to Gambol!!!) With my group of friends in Vegas, coke was a way of life. I think I started doing a few lines every now and then in my room when i was tired and wanted to play more. By the end, I was doing lines every few hours at the bathroom in the Bellagio. I figured when I came back to grad school I would not have the urges to do it anymore since I no longer needed to stay up and play poker all night. I was dead wrong. I have not gone a day without doing it, (I have been back for 2 weeks) and I have even contacted dealers here to buy from, something which i have never done with any kind of drug before. I am going to see counselers here, but I am a little worried about the confidentiality since I am in grad school and on the pay roll of a faculty member. The last person I would want to know about my problem is my advisor. Please PM me if you want to talk more. Good luck staying clean, it is MUCH harder than i thought it would be.

[ QUOTE ]
First off, let me say thank you for all of your posts. I am going through something similar. I will share my history with you, as you were kind enough to do with us. I have gone through undergrad and two years of grad school. I never touched the stuff in undergrad, combination of not having enough money and never having friends that were really into it. I tried it for the first time my first year of grad school, i was 22. I thought it was ok, but nothing really special. I had done done E before and thought that it was much better, so i never really thought about coke.

Fast forward to this summer. I decided to take the summer off and play poker. A few weeks in my bank roll was good enough to buy a one way ticket to Vegas. (Granted it was only like 7 grand but i wanted to Gambol!!!) With my group of friends in Vegas, coke was a way of life. I think I started doing a few lines every now and then in my room when i was tired and wanted to play more. By the end, I was doing lines every few hours at the bathroom in the Bellagio. I figured when I came back to grad school I would not have the urges to do it anymore since I no longer needed to stay up and play poker all night. I was dead wrong. I have not gone a day without doing it, (I have been back for 2 weeks) and I have even contacted dealers here to buy from, something which i have never done with any kind of drug before. I am going to see counselers here, but I am a little worried about the confidentiality since I am in grad school and on the pay roll of a faculty member. The last person I would want to know about my problem is my advisor. Please PM me if you want to talk more. Good luck staying clean, it is MUCH harder than i thought it would be.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wouldn't worry about confidentiality. Counselors are not allowed to say anything unless they feel you are a threat to yourself or to someone else.

I don't think a counselor is enough though. You really want somebody around that can help you. I have no doubt that you can do this, but you just want someone there to make sure you are okay. But, who knows, maybe this is just me. I could have other problems that I don't know about. For example, I have read that people that are bipolar or bipolar II have a much tougher time quitting cocaine or alcohol. I don't know if I am either of these, but from the research I have done, I would not be suprised if this is why the powder is having such a horrible withdrawal effect on my mind. Good luck man!

[ChipWrecked]

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My last night of doing it, I was up to 1.75 eight balls in about an 8 hour period.

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how many grams in an 8 ball?

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3.5

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You learned that by watching Miami Vice,right? /images/graemlins/wink.gif