Ok guys. Admit it. Poker is NOT cool.

[SNOWBALL138]

I went to 7/11 lastnight at 2am, and I met this cute girl that I vaguely recognized from school. We talked for a minute, and she asked if I wanted to exchange numbers. So, I say sure, and I end up hanging out with her and her friends until about 7am over at my place. We played cards, drank beer, talked, and had a pretty cool time.

So, at one point in the night, one of them asked me what I do. I tried to give a cover answer. "I do small scale, short term, low risk, high return investment." Anyway, they wanted details, and bugged me about it for a little while, until I finally folded, and told them exactly what I "invest" in.

They're all young like me (22ish) so they were nice about it. I explained that I don't like to tell people what I do because they judge me for it, and it seemed ok. However, I can never be sure if I'm being judged or not.

Here's my theory. I think poker is like the mafia. Certain people think its cool, and they are totally oblivious to the fact that most people think the exact opposite. Also, just like the mafia, no one that doesn't play poker has any idea what its like to do it for a living. On the other hand, everyone THINKS they know what its like because of the stupid things they've heard from people they know or because of the portrayals or it in movies.

So, whereas everyone knows what you mean when you say "I am a lawyer", no one even knows what you are talking about when you say "I play cards". When you say "I play cards" to person A they hear "I am a sicko gambler". When you say it to person B, they hear "I am a filthy criminal", or person C hears "I am a dirty lowlife unable to work a real job" or person D hears "I am a millionaire" or person E hears "I am a math genius, but also an amoral hustler."

I honestly think its more precise to say my cover story than to say I play cards. What do you guys do?

[Goodnews]

first of all, don't give a bunch of vague details because it only peaks their curiosity. and if that is your goal, tell them you are in investing for a bank, and its confidentail and that you are not allowed to talk about it.

but the truth is though, your mouths shouldnt be used for talking if you are drinking with a cute girl and her friends from 2am to 7am. get my drift?

[ QUOTE ]
...your mouths shouldnt be used for talking if you are drinking with a cute girl and her friends from 2am to 7am.

[/ QUOTE ]

Clearly the mouth is used for sticking your foot into.

On a more serious note, stick with the cover story. I agree with Goodnews about not giving them a tease. My suggestion? Say you're an independent software developer. Nobody ever asks questions.

[Subfallen]

"I do small scale, short term, low risk, high return investment" is so convoluted it's just begging for explanation. If you want to be semi-honest try, "I'm a full-time speculator" or something like that.

[Shilly]

Just say you're a fisherman.

[ QUOTE ]
Just say you're a fisherman.

[/ QUOTE ]
nh

[CaptSensible]

Try this: Tell them you're a "professional poker player".
kinda takes the stink out, lol.
Adding the word "professional" to anything gives it a kind of cache.

[Goodnews]

or gives the person a sense of delusion.

ie im a professional clown, professional sandwich packer, professional dishwasher, professional manucurist

[SNOWBALL138]

Yeah, its gottta be one of the worst covers stories ever /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[BOTW]

[ QUOTE ]
So, whereas everyone knows what you mean when you say "I am a degenerate gambler," no one even knows what you are talking about when you say "I am a lawyer". When you say "I am a lawyer" to person A they hear "I am a sicko ambulance chaser". When you say it to person B, they hear "I am a filthy corporate criminal," or person C hears "I am a dirty lowlife unable to get into a real program so I went to law school" or person D hears "I am a millionaire" or person E hears "I am a defender of those who have no defense, but also an amoral hustler."

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP cuz I think poker is cool. Not everyone does a job they enjoy or society finds high praise for. People will judge you no matter what you do. Get drunk, then call her.

[Lawrence Ng]

Tell them you are an Online Gaming Analyst or just a Gaming Analyst and that you crunch numbers and [censored] like that. Confuse 'em, make it sound important and that'll shut 'em up.

My friends think poker is cool. A lot of them are playing now. The thing is they know I'm pro so they won't invite me. [censored] assholes those guys.

Lawrence

[ATbx22]

so....umm..... did u hit it?...

[tdarko]

[ QUOTE ]
Certain people think its cool, and they are totally oblivious to the fact that most people think the exact opposite.

[/ QUOTE ]
i think its more widely accepted than you think, especially amongst twentysomething's. the only people i have really found that have a problem with it are elders and the real old but who cares about old people they are just here to go to the library, doctor, vote and bitch about anything different than what once was.

[FatalError]

I just tell people i'm a professional poker player, i'm 21 so in the same boat... if someone makes a smartass comment to be a dick, i'll generally toss my car keys in their face... they generally shut up at that point

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
peaks their curiosity

[/ QUOTE ]

piques their curuosity

[Bodhi]

I am not a pro, not by a longshot, but I am living off my bankroll for the summer. Anyway, I just give it to them straight. I say, "I'm playing cards for money this summer." If you approach people with confidence, they will respect you. Some people think I'm joking until I report that I already played 1000 hands from 9am-1pm and spent the afternoon outside or studying for the GRE.

[imported_anacardo]

I tell people I'm self-employed; I have an Internet business. Seems like nobody wants to hear about it after that.

[mdeck]

To people closer to me, I usually tell them what I'm doing, but often not to those who I don't know as well. To those I don't know as well, I tell them I play the stock market (half-truth, I do, but only for side income - and it's another form of gambling, too) - It's seen as being more skill-dependant by the average person. Those closer to me are more open and it's easier to explain to them why it's so profitable.

I get mixed results - people closer to me tend to be impressed that it's possible to make as much as I do playing in the convenience of my own home, and at my age.

People that don't know me as well believe that I'm wasting my time playing online and that I should get a traditional, bitch-work summer job and blah blah blah. I've gotten tired trying to explain how it works and throwing my hourly rate out there because even that doesn't buy it credibility often, so now I just say I play the stocks. You get less questions, and have to do less defending yourself.

The concept of poker may be cool to people around my age (19), but there's nothing cool about sitting at your computer for 4 hours a day, and it doesn't carry the same type of social clout that saying you play the stocks does. Regardless of being confident or not in what I do for money, it's not worth going through the same gambit of unoriginal questions everytime someone asks what I do.

[Wally Weeks]

How about just shocking people with "I'm a degenerate gambler waiting to blow his bankroll." Jaws will drop, uncomfortable silence will commence. Also, say regular jobs are for squares and clydes that have no sense of gamble and need to have the comfort of a consistent, steady paycheck. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Seriously, I'd just say that I don't have a job but am currently looking for one or something crap like that. If they ask how you pay your bills just say that you have some money saved up to last awhile (read poker bankroll and winnings). Yeah, it won't impress the chicks, but you can come up with something else for them.

[brick]

You just need to be confident.

"I'm a professional poker player.
I kick major a** and win lots of money.
Let me pay for your smokes, 22oz mickey's, and bag of peepered beef jerkey. It's nothin' to me."

[angst]

I don't get it. Tell them the truth.

Trying to cover up what you are doing, being hesitant about telling them and finally giving into their questions, will most certainly make even the most open-minded person a little sceptical at best.

Just say, "I play poker." If they ask more questions, answer them honestly and be self-confident but nonchalant about it.

[Klepton]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
peaks their curiosity

[/ QUOTE ]

piques their curuosity

[/ QUOTE ]

now who's the sicko

[pokerjoker]

i think girls will think its a lot more cool when your making $100 an hour playing.

[mosdef]

young man, DO NOT take home girls you met at the 7-11. seriously.

[Noose]

Random people:

To 18-30 year old people I say that I play poker professionally.
To 30-45 men I say I play poker professionally.
To 30-45 women I say that I'm doing "a sort of investing, I'm self employed".
To 45+ "a sort of investing, I'm self employed".

Relatives:

To 18-40 I play poker professionally
To 40+ a sort of investing, I'm self employed.

[poker-penguin]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
peaks their curiosity

[/ QUOTE ]

piques their curuosity

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. I wish morans wouldn't use words they can't spell. /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[tek]

You should either aggressively tell the truth or aggressively lie. Don't be weak passive.

Some people will be jealous. Some will think you are a lowlife. Some will be impressed.

And guess what, you'll get the same result no matter what you do for a living. You always have a choice of whom you interact with.

[TStoneMBD]

if you beat around the bush and then finally cave that you are a professional poker player, it resembles that you are struggling and that is not what you want to portray. come right out with confidence and throw money around. if you are at a 7/11 buy them the [censored] they want. if you are doing well then the $15 or whatever it is wont matter to you. a nice benefit of driving a really kickass car is that when you tell people you are doing whatever you are doing, they assume you are doing well.

another theory is that when you tell them you are a pro poker player, rather than arrogantly throw your hourly rate out there for all to see, slip into the conversation that you are gonna take a vacation to some exotic country in a few weeks. most 20ish kids will be extremely jealous that you are able to drop a few thousand like that on a vacation as most people in this age group are very broke. if you have a laptop then tell them that you are bringing that along with you and will probably multitable while youre down there. it makes the ladies all wet.

[Indiana]

Tell you invest in the online gaming business.

Indy

[A_C_Slater]

Say you're retired.

Then if they ask "how" at such a young age, then just say "trust fund."

Then watch as they hate on you.

[Subfallen]

[ QUOTE ]
Say you're retired.

Then if they ask "how" at such a young age, then just say "trust fund."

Then watch as they hate on you.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is clearly the correct answer.

[Dave H.]

[ QUOTE ]
My suggestion? Say you're an independent software developer. Nobody ever asks questions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or even better: Say you are an independent tester of software...kind of like a Quality Assurance individual...just don't tell them what kind of software you test!

[Shoog]

How about saying you're a risk management analyst.
If they ask, "what's that?"
Say something like, "I assess people's investments and try to show them how they are putting too much money in overly risky endeavors or not enough in other more sound investments, given their financial limits and objectives. I'm compensated partially on a commission, based on whether I'm right or wrong.
chrs

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
You should either aggressively tell the truth or aggressively lie. Don't be weak passive.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol.

If a guy walked up to me and told me he was a poker player you'd have to peel me off him.

[Fitz]

This is the first time I've posted this, but here goes. I do enjoy poker; I have loved it for years. I don't play full time, but I do treat it as a lucrative part time job.

To the title of my post. I'm a big guy. Big enough that my doctor tells me I need weight loss surgery. If I don't have it, I can/will face some serious health problems going forward. My health insurance through my employer is refusing to pay for the surgery. I'm waiting to hear the results of an appeal right now. If the insurance company doesn't pay, I will. The surgery is going to cost between 15 and 20k; if it weren't for the money I've won playing poker online, I wouldn't be able to afford it.

I don't care if it's cool or not. The money we make playing can help us in ways we might never imagine until life throws us a nasty curve ball.

Good luck all,

Fitz

[vexvelour]

[ QUOTE ]
The surgery is going to cost between 15 and 20k; if it weren't for the money I've won playing poker online, I wouldn't be able to afford it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Funny how life works out sometimes. Good luck with your appeal and your surgery.

[The Don]

[ QUOTE ]
if you beat around the bush and then finally cave that you are a professional poker player, it resembles that you are struggling and that is not what you want to portray. come right out with confidence and throw money around. if you are at a 7/11 buy them the [censored] they want. if you are doing well then the $15 or whatever it is wont matter to you. a nice benefit of driving a really kickass car is that when you tell people you are doing whatever you are doing, they assume you are doing well.

another theory is that when you tell them you are a pro poker player, rather than arrogantly throw your hourly rate out there for all to see, slip into the conversation that you are gonna take a vacation to some exotic country in a few weeks. most 20ish kids will be extremely jealous that you are able to drop a few thousand like that on a vacation as most people in this age group are very broke. if you have a laptop then tell them that you are bringing that along with you and will probably multitable while youre down there. it makes the ladies all wet.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree... let your $$$ do the talking. I am very generous with it and all of my friends and people my age respect me for it. If you are a truly successful player then money should mean nothing to you and it won't hurt to throw some around to bolster your image.

Older people will not understand... they are programmed to know what is "right" and "wrong" according to social norms. Who cares if you are leach on society? I would rather be a leach than one of the mindless drones that are "young professionals." (filing their TPS reports and whatnot)

[aces_full]

Tell them you make adult videos. Alternatively, some chicks might think "pot dealer" is a cool occupation. The most +EV answer to the question is the one that will most likely lead to you seeing some boob.

[mike4bmp]

I have the same problem...although I don't play professionally since I have a job and go to school, I find it hard to tell people that I play poker for a secondary source of income. However, since poker is sort of a cold-blooded thing to get into (i.e. exploiting others for their mistakes)in which you don't really care what your opponent thinks of you (with the exception of your table image of course) then you should not really care what the general public thinks of it. If someone labels you then they are the type of person who won't be able to see past their preconceived ideas anyway so why associate with them....uh they're too SHALLOW for my liking! So don't stress on them...I wouldn't worry too much about this these days anyways especially with the onslaught of popularity of tournament poker...its becoming more widely accepted. What I would be concerned with more now is being labeled as a wannabe! LOL
Peace!

[bohemian]

I admit it. Poker is not cool.

[autobet]

[ QUOTE ]
I admit it. Poker is not cool.

[/ QUOTE ]

[erby]

[ QUOTE ]
im a professional clown

[/ QUOTE ]

could you even imagine an amateur clown...someone who dresses up like a clown and doesn't get paid for it? I mean...besides humberto brenes

[PairTheBoard]

[ QUOTE ]
aces_full --

The most +EV answer to the question is the one that will most likely lead to you seeing some boob.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is clearly the best line. The question is, what is the best line for this line?

PairTheBoard

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
How about just shocking people with "I'm a degenerate gambler waiting to blow his bankroll." Jaws will drop, uncomfortable silence will commence. Also, say regular jobs are for squares and clydes that have no sense of gamble and need to have the comfort of a consistent, steady paycheck. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Seriously, I'd just say that I don't have a job but am currently looking for one or something crap like that. If they ask how you pay your bills just say that you have some money saved up to last awhile (read poker bankroll and winnings). Yeah, it won't impress the chicks, but you can come up with something else for them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did you really just say squares and clydes? Thats the funniest thing I've read online in a while.

[jdl22]

[ QUOTE ]


So, whereas everyone knows what you mean when you say "I am a lawyer", no one even knows what you are talking about when you say "I play cards". When you say "I play cards" to person A they hear "I am a sicko gambler". When you say it to person B, they hear "I am a filthy criminal", or person C hears "I am a dirty lowlife unable to work a real job" or person D hears "I am a millionaire" or person E hears "I am a math genius, but also an amoral hustler."


[/ QUOTE ]

I think it's similar to lawyer or most jobs. I have almost no clue what a lawyer does at work. I know that a high percentage don't appear in court, but most people seem to think of lawyers in big trials. It's the same in poker. People think about what gets played up in the media and what the stereotypes are.

[PassiveCaller]

Have we grown up past the 3rd grade yet where cool or what people think is cool matters?

[Maddenboy]

that's funny.

I was gonna jump on that one, but I thought "lemme just read one more post to see if anyone else does it, and to give me time to change my mind."

[SNOWBALL138]

Finally! Jeez. I don't know why everyone is in denial about this. People think because Jennifer Tilly is dating the unabomber that all of a sudden playing poker is cool. These people need to realize that Jennifer Tilly is old and not that hot, and that she'd probably be dating Phil Laak whether he played poker or not. He's young, and has a fresh personality. She's lucky to have him.

[rgschackelford]

Uh buh buh buh buh buh buh. Cool it with the criticism. The grammar forum is three IPs down the street, to your left. It's got all the English teachers and prep nerds hanging out on it. You can't miss it!

Rusty

P.S. I assume it wasn't a spelling error, just misuse of a word. Eye try not too let it happen two often, I fined it effects me in a negative weigh. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[rgschackelford]

SNAP!

[rgschackelford]

I apologize for using that word.

Rusty

[Dan Mezick]

[ QUOTE ]
"I do small scale, short term, low risk, high return investment."

[/ QUOTE ]

I like it. Abbreviate. Tell them you are "in finance".

A definition of NLTH poker that works very well is:

TRADING in the relative value of 2 or more poker hands in a 4-bet sequence, where any bet is limited only by your current quantity of chips."

[rgschackelford]

Don't forget about the right wing wackos! I'm not talking about people on the right of the political spectrum, but the people on the FAR right. They see it as a sin against God, and all that is unholy, along with abortion, gays, and Franklin D. Roosevelt. There, I said it. What!? What!?

I was watching some poker show lately (it might have been the most recent WSOP coverage on ESPN, the New Orleans event), and one of the commentators (probably Norman Chad) said that we need more players from Texas. We need people to follow in the footsteps of Doyle Brunson, Amarillo Slim, "Sailor" Roberts, and all the other greats. Did you all know that gambling (poker is considered gambling in Texas, not a game of skill, like in California) is STILL illegal in Texas? The state is too conservative to jump on the bandwagon. I say we just we apologize to Mexico about the Mexican-American War, and let them have Texas. Or at least not allow anyone from Texas to be president any more. The way I see it, they're batting 0-3. I also have theories about cutting the south (Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Florida mostly) off of the Union, and letting it drift off into the Carribbean Sea, and letting South America deal with it. Their backasswards policies have made the U.S. look like a Gomer Pyle to the world. And how is Robert E. Lee an "American Hero"? Wasn't his biggest accomplishment trying to SECEDE from the Union? I'm sorry but if the colonies would have lost the Revolutionary war, George Washington would not have gone down as a British hero. But here I go, grandstanding on my political soapbox. Sorry, I'm a poly-sci major, and when I get going, I can't stop.

So what were we talking about, playing AK on the second hand of a final table tournament at Party? Oh, right the thing about poker being cool.

If you really wanted to sound smart, tell them something like, "I'm conducting experiments to see how mathematics and psychology is affected in real world competitions, when game theory is periodically used." Or, use something that sounds like it uses a lot of math. Nothing slows down a good time more than a conversation about math. Trust me on this one, I used to be a math major.

Anyway, I went off topic for a while here, but I hope I've been of help. Have a good one. Now, go out and get you some booty!

Rusty

[rgschackelford]

Come on Don, don't be a rube, and get on the trolley!

[LetYouDown]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
peaks their curiosity

[/ QUOTE ]

piques their curuosity

[/ QUOTE ]
If you're going to correct someone's grammar, at least learn to spell/type.

[Piemaster]

Depends what you are after. If you want a relationship then you may as well come out and just tell her you are a poker player. If you lie or mislead her then when she finds out she won't be very happy.

On the other hand, if you just want a shag then why bother mixing in grains of truth. Just come up with the most impressive lie that you can tell convincingly, whether that is that you are a pro athlete, defence lawyer, surgeon or senator.