My attempt to fit in with the "new" oot

[cnfuzzd]

So i havent been around here much lately, do to the fact that im much happier not reading most of the idiocy that gets posted here, but this is pure OOT.

So i am sitting in my office a couple of weeks ago, and notice a spider living in an upper-corner. Now im generally really cool with all spiders that arent currently biting me, so i let him go about his business, namely removing pesky insects from my house. However, he is starting to get kind of big, and i think its about time to assert my dominance as the superior species.

Then, a couple of days ago, im chatting with rmarotti about how im going to pwn jason t in the "marottis hot roommate" contest, when i notice this fly buzzing around me. I really hate flys, and have ever since i saw "the fly", not the new one, but the old one. Why? I dunno. Just not a fan. So i go look for a flyswatter, newspaper, or file folder owned by my roommate. No avail. So, i take the course of laziness, and decide to find a flyswatter at the store later. Two store trips later, and still no fly swatter. Im lazy and forgetfull.

So im yelling at myself about this, when it hits me. CLEARLY THIS IS THE WAY THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE!!! This is a classic match up. Im not going to kill these two living creatures, im going to let them kill each other, to see which one advances to the next round! CLASSIC SPIDER AND THE FLY BATTLE TO THE DEATH.

So, there will be periodic updates, and a final match report forthcoming, but i have some quesitons.

-how is it possible to work a "stick it in her pooper" reference in this situation?

-would the jesus spammer approve of this?

-what is the appropriate "spider vs fly" beverage? I mean, whiskey could put me out of it too soon, but beer seems a bit trashy for such an elite event.

-how much should i sell tickets.

- what is the oot opinion of the outcome of this?

-im going to chipotle, what should i get?

Thanks guys, and i look forward to keeping you up-to-date on SPIDER VS FLY: THIS TIME ITS FOR REAL!!!!! hosted by pjn productions.

peace

john nickle

[cnfuzzd]

[ QUOTE ]

So i havent been around here much lately, do to the fact that im . A COMPLETE LOSER TOOL!!!1111

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

peace

john nickle

[cnfuzzd]

stick it in her pooper


peace

john nickle

[cnfuzzd]

THIS IS GAY.

END OF THREAD.


peace

john nickle

[Joshssj4]

You're trying much too hard.

[ChoicestHops]

Whiskey and sprite will make the event enjoyable. Whiskey is good for you /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Willluck]

[ QUOTE ]
-how is it possible to work a "stick it in her pooper" reference in this situation?

-would the jesus spammer approve of this?

-what is the appropriate "spider vs fly" beverage? I mean, whiskey could put me out of it too soon, but beer seems a bit trashy for such an elite event.

-how much should i sell tickets.

- what is the oot opinion of the outcome of this?

-im going to chipotle, what should i get?

Thanks guys, and i look forward to keeping you up-to-date on SPIDER VS FLY: THIS TIME ITS FOR REAL!!!!! hosted by pjn productions.


[/ QUOTE ] Why didn't you just lock this from getting replies?

[thatpfunk]

You are awesome and really have captured the oot demise in a single thread.

[siccjay]

Fly gets pwned.

Take the under.

[morgant]

[ QUOTE ]
Now im generally really cool with all spiders

[/ QUOTE ]

VIVA

[DMBFan23]

go with jager bombs

[ChoicestHops]

[ QUOTE ]
go with jager bombs

[/ QUOTE ]

Jager tastes like cough syrup. Yet all that sugar combined with the caffeine in the Red Bull gets the alcohol in your system pretty damn quick.

[Luv2DriveTT]

[ QUOTE ]
You're trying much too hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are sooo wrong. PJN rules, this thread is proof.

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[Los Feliz Slim]

I used to have an agreement with spiders: I don't smoosh them, they eat the flying insects that try to bite me. The deal is off if they bite me or are ever found on my bed.

Then, my daughter arrived. I really didn't think the spiders were prepared to work "don't bite my kid" into the deal, so, once again, all spiders must die.

But I dig the way you do business, Jackie.

[MikeL05]

Spiders thrive in places where a fly would normally want to go, or pass through, for some reason. If the spider builds a web in the corner of your office... why would the fly go there? How would it get caught in the web when passing by? Cause if it was just flying around... in order to land in the web it doesn't see, it would have to have been planning on ramming itself into the corner of your wall anyways. Which is unlikely. I say you kill the fly out of frustration in 3 days.

Did I miss the point of this post?

[IndieMatty]

PJN, OOT = OK.

ML,
IM

[Los Feliz Slim]

Say what you will about spiders, but eating flies and such is what they do for a living. The corners are PRIME fly-eating real estate.

[wacki]

wow, nice post

[jason_t]

Brilliant post. I /images/graemlins/heart.gif pjn.

[ QUOTE ]
Then, a couple of days ago, im chatting with rmarotti about how im going to pwn jason t in the "marottis hot roommate" contest,

[/ QUOTE ]

Prepare for a humiliating defeat. rmarotti's roommate will /images/graemlins/heart.gif me.

[Los Feliz Slim]

[ QUOTE ]
-how is it possible to work a "stick it in her pooper" reference in this situation?
-would the jesus spammer approve of this?
-what is the appropriate "spider vs fly" beverage? I mean, whiskey could put me out of it too soon, but beer seems a bit trashy for such an elite event.
-how much should i sell tickets.
- what is the oot opinion of the outcome of this?
-im going to chipotle, what should i get?

[/ QUOTE ]

All that blather and I didn't answer the questions:

1. The spider sticks it in the fly's pooper.
2. Has the fly accepted Jesus?
3. Martinis.
4. Stick it in her pooper.
5. Fly KO in the 8th.
6. Carnitas burrito, mild AND corn salsa, no dairy.

[Subfallen]

[ QUOTE ]
You're trying much too hard.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, first person to make my ignore list. Sometimes it just has to be done.

[ThaSaltCracka]

nice work.

[AngryCola]

Clearly a great post, cnfuzzd.

Honestly, did anyone with over 1/4 of a brain ever think "stick it in her pooper" was funny?

[Jman28]

Wow. Fantastic post(s). I love you.

[lucas9000]

[ QUOTE ]
You are awesome and really have captured the oot demise in a single thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Wes ManTooth]

[ QUOTE ]
You are awesome and really have captured the oot demise in a single thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

Captured?? ... more like further the demise.

[The Dude]

[ QUOTE ]
You are awesome and really have captured the oot demise in a single thread.


[/ QUOTE ]

[Vince Young]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are awesome and really have captured the oot demise in a single thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

Captured?? ... more like further the demise.

[/ QUOTE ]

[klagett]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You are awesome and really have captured the oot demise in a single thread.


[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

[bisonbison]

John,

If your location is quoting me, that makes me incredibly happy. I happened to really like that joke.

[MoreWineII]

[ QUOTE ]
- what is the oot opinion of the outcome of this?

[/ QUOTE ]

Spider, 1st round.

[tbach24]

Could a fly ever beat a spider?

[MrWookie47]

Well, if the fly never gets caught, and the spider starves...

Edit: I'd go with a Manhattan for your beverage. It won't put you out as quickly as drinking your whiskey neat, and it's sufficiently classy for this event.