Going for the threesome, long run -EV?

[squeek12]

I'm recently married, but my wife and I are still very young(23 and 22 respectively) and enjoy our share of drunken debauchery. I've noticed that when she gets smashed she gravitates toward some of our girl friends and gets a little frisky.

I know that at least one of our friends would most likely be up for it if the circumstances were right. The problem is that when my wife sobers up she denies attraction to women and gets a little defensive. She is also a little more jealous than the average wife/girlfriend.

Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake. I think it would, but it would be interesting to hear advice/stories from anyone who has been in this predicament before.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

I think the general consensus is that you're in trouble the moment you both think a three-some is a good idea.

[Yeti]

I love the use of trifecta. nh.

[DemonDeac]

ooooo a double pooper situation

drunken actions=sober thoughts, no matter what wifey says
are u lookin for like a consisten monage here or just for one drunken night?

[Macdaddy Warsaw]

Given the jealousy issues, it's a big no. She will likely never get over it.

I like to think it's possible that a married couple could pull a threesome and not have it f' everything all to hell. But I think it's a 10% shot.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
ooooo a double pooper situation

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao.

[squeek12]

[ QUOTE ]
ooooo a double pooper situation

drunken actions=sober thoughts, no matter what wifey says
are u lookin for like a consisten monage here or just for one drunken night?

[/ QUOTE ]

One drunken night. I can't imagine what that one hungover morning would be like though. My strategy is to let it come to me. If my wife initiates the action, I wouldn't resist. But I think it would be a mistake to go for it myself.

[djoyce003]

it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

yep. she's defensive about it when sober and denies it PLUS the fact that she's kinda jealous!? steer clear, not worth it.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

mirrors my thoughts. depends how valuable your marriage is to you because I dount it would survive long after this.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

mirrors my thoughts. depends how valuable your marriage is to you because I dount it would survive long after this.

[/ QUOTE ]

i do so enjoy your avatar.

[squeek12]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

yep. she's defensive about it when sober and denies it PLUS the fact that she's kinda jealous!? steer clear, not worth it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up? It's not likely, but also not impossible IMO. How do I play that hand. Denying that opportunity would certainly be tough, but I would earn tons of brownie points and suspicion free nights out with the boys.

[asofel]

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
it will most likely end up costing you your marriage.

[/ QUOTE ]

yep. she's defensive about it when sober and denies it PLUS the fact that she's kinda jealous!? steer clear, not worth it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up? It's not likely, but also not impossible IMO. How do I play that hand. Denying that opportunity would certainly be tough, but I would earn tons of brownie points and suspicion free nights out with the boys.

[/ QUOTE ]

If she does something like kiss or flirt heavily with a friend when drunk, tell her the next day. Tell her its ok and doesn't bother you, but don't be defensive about it, its perfectly natural. Until you have this discussion and you can talk openly about it, even if she brings it up, you'll be dealing with a world of [censored] the next day. "I can't believe you said yes, I was drunk, I didn't really want to" etc...

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]

I know you're right, but what about if she brings it up?

[/ QUOTE ]

If she brings it up sometime when sober, then I think you should discuss it pretty thoroughly. In particular, I think you should argue the cons fairly forcefully. The jealousy issue is a major one, and if there's even a hint of that it's probably going to be difficult to deal with after the fact. This is the number one reason why my girlfriend would have no interest in it, for example. As for her sober rejection of any kind of hint of lesbian attraction, I don't think that this is nearly as bad. It's possible that she'll flip out about this and pin some of the blame on you, but I think this is far less of a concern than the jealousy stuff.

I concur with most of the posters here that given how you've described the situation, it's probably unwise for you to maneuver for it at all if your main goal is a long-term, happy marriage (assuming that you're happy in a marriage that doesn't involve threesomes.) This goes double for letting it happen some night when she's drunk.

[Alobar]

I say go for it. If you wanna play the averages your marriage is going to end in ruins anyway (I'd say the fact ure even making this post means ure marriage is about 80% to fail in the future). You might as well get some good 3 way sex out of the deal before your wife gets fat, shits out a couple kids and you spend the rest of your life slaving away to make alimony and child support payments. This way you avoid having to do all that.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
I say go for it. If you wanna play the averages your marriage is going to end in ruins anyway (I'd say the fact ure even making this post means ure marriage is about 80% to fail in the future).

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds harsh but that was my initial reaction as well.

[CallMeIshmael]

A female friend of mind had a druken threesome with a guy and his girlfriend.

She said the time she sees either of them around campus is just about the most awkward momement in her life.


As amazing as it would be, I bet, when you are all sobered up, it wouldnt be worth it.

[MoreWineII]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm recently married, but my wife and I are still very young(23 and 22 respectively) and enjoy our share of drunken debauchery. I've noticed that when she gets smashed she gravitates toward some of our girl friends and gets a little frisky.

I know that at least one of our friends would most likely be up for it if the circumstances were right. The problem is that when my wife sobers up she denies attraction to women and gets a little defensive. She is also a little more jealous than the average wife/girlfriend.

Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake. I think it would, but it would be interesting to hear advice/stories from anyone who has been in this predicament before.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your wife sounds similar to mine. Just be sure you're really ready for any fallout. fwiw, your wife's attitude after the fact will depends ENTIRELY upon your interaction with the other girl. In other words, don't spend the whole time fiddling with the other girl and ignoring your wife. Not only will you probably never have another threesome again, but you're going to have a mopey wife for a few months at least.

Encourage the two of them to get frisky and while they're intoxicated with all that lesbian [censored], you do your thing in or on your wife. I'd leave the other girl alone pretty much entirely for the first time, actually.

And add LOTS and LOTS of booze to the mix.

I think it's bullshit, btw, that you can't add this aspect to your marriage w/o ruining it. Assuming, of course, that you're both going into it willingly.

[squeek12]

[ QUOTE ]
If she does something like kiss or flirt heavily with a friend when drunk, tell her the next day. Tell her its ok and doesn't bother you, but don't be defensive about it, its perfectly natural. Until you have this discussion and you can talk openly about it, even if she brings it up, you'll be dealing with a world of [censored] the next day. "I can't believe you said yes, I was drunk, I didn't really want to" etc...

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is good advice. I mostly started the thread to breed some half-hearted, witty advice. I'm surprised the tone has been so serious. So far it has only confirmed what I had suspected myself.

Stories about people who have had this happen to them while in a relationship?

[CallMeIshmael]

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fwiw, your wife's attitude after the fact will depends ENTIRELY upon your interaction with the other girl. In other words, don't spend the whole time fiddling with the other girl and ignoring your wife.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a good point.


The girl I mentioned in my post said that the guy showed her more attention than he did his girlfriend, and the girlfriend got really pissy, and left before things were finished.

[cbfair]

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Denying that opportunity would certainly be tough, but I would earn tons of brownie points and suspicion free nights out with the boys.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your best play and its not even close. An awkward next morning and who knows what else is way too big a price to pay for one night of passion. Remember, you two signed up for a lifetime of "to have and to hold"; the first year or two is all about getting to know one another and establishing boundries.

You'll have a whole lifetime to follow through on this if it truly is in the cards but I would be damn certain its the right thing to do before initiating anything at all. If she's defensive around the subject now and even the slightest bit jealous, forget about it cause it can't work until you can talk openly and securely about it.

cbf

[squeek12]

[ QUOTE ]
I say go for it. If you wanna play the averages your marriage is going to end in ruins anyway (I'd say the fact ure even making this post means ure marriage is about 80% to fail in the future). You might as well get some good 3 way sex out of the deal before your wife gets fat, shits out a couple kids and you spend the rest of your life slaving away to make alimony and child support payments. This way you avoid having to do all that.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think my marriage is as normal as they come and this threesome talk is a longshot at best. I was just curious if others had been in this situation before and to know how they handled it.

[yoadrians]

I've been a part of two threesomes:

FIRST ONE: Me, a buddy and a girl we were both kind of friends with. Very fun during, very dirty/strange after. He and I are still friends ... the girl won't look either of us in the eye anymore. And that's too bad - she was cool.

SECOND ONE: Me, an ex-girlfriend and her hot roommate. Again, lots of fun during, and after, my girlfriend was SO jealous everytime her and said roommate were alone in the same room together, she and I broke up, and she and her roommate stopped being friends.

The lesson here: Dude, they are AWESOME to think about, and they are FANTASTIC to take part in.

But nothing good ever follows ... and these two were BEFORE I met my current wife. I don't want to even THINK about what the aftermath of something like this could do to a marriage.

Don't do it. You think it will be fun, and trust me, it WILL be fun.

You also think you'll be able to move on after it ... and trust me, that part is much tougher to deal with.

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]

Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake. I think it would, but it would be interesting to hear advice/stories from anyone who has been in this predicament before.

[/ QUOTE ]

It could be a mistake in the short run only. In the long run (and I am talking 5 years and beyond), it will be just one of the many shared experiences you have, pleasant and unpleasant, and it won't be the particular focus of anything.

In the short run, if she is the jealous type, if both of you are the type to bring up past incidents in arguments, then this could be a lot of trouble.

[Etric]

You only live once; go for it. You can always "modify" the story later and claim not to remember certain parts of it.

[Brian]

[ QUOTE ]
Stories about people who have had this happen to them while in a relationship?

[/ QUOTE ]

A little background: I am currently 20 and my girlfriend is 21. We have been together for 3 years now, and about 2 years ago we had our first threesome. Even at that point, our relationship was pretty serious (living together, taking lots of out of country trips together, etc.), and I was starting to get worried about missing out on action since all my friends my age were out getting laid everynight /images/graemlins/blush.gif. While I was happy to sit home and watch Amelie every now and then, I craved a little more excitement... In other words, I wanted what every guy wants: The nice, steady, wonderful girlfriend and then some extra pussy on the side. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

I spent a few months approaching my girlfriend about it. Sometimes it repulsed her, other times it intrigued her. Ultimately, we had a lot of discussions about it, and I convinced her to try it just once while we were still young, and if she ever felt uncomfortable, then we could back out, and if she didn't like it, we never had to do it again.

The girl we found was a girl I had slept with before, and I felt they would get along really well because of their personalities. It was actually pretty awkward when I took them both out for dinner to meet each other, because they babbled to each other in girltalk the entire way through, and I just sort of sat there throwing in made-up words and phrases about purses and shoes every once in awhile. I was actually worried that the 3some wasn't ever going to happen with her, not because they didn't get along well, but because they got along too well and looked like they were going to turn in to shopping buddies, not pooper buddies.

However, we eventually all went over to the girl's place for her to show outfits to my girlfriend, we had a few drinks, I stuck it in her pooper, etc. etc. etc. Things went about as well as they could go, and my gf said she genuinely enjoyed it, and we later sought out other experiences. Yet, sitting here two years later, when I showed her this very thread in OOT, we started arguing about it, and have had other arguments about it in the past. Bottom line: GF/wifey's hold too much jealousy (and I'm not blaming them, 'cause I would too) to ever allow this sort of thing to happen, and even if it does and your relationship/marriage survives, it will probably cause a lot of unneeded stress/long talks down the road.

The dilemma is that most people don't want to be in a serious relationship with the type of woman who has absolutely no problem with their boyfriends sleeping with other women, yet if you want to have a 3some, that is exactly the type of person you need. I won't rehash what the other posters have said other than to say I agree with them 100%. Good luck,

-Brian

P.S. GF has been watching me type this whole thing, PM me for what really happened. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Matt Williams]

Just ask yourself this question. Would you be willing to let another guy bang your wife and not be jealous?

[Luv2DriveTT]

Been there, done that... and trust me it isn't all that great. Your wife's mental sanity is more important than the two of you nailing her friend.

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Just ask yourself this question. Would you be willing to let another guy bang your wife and not be jealous?

[/ QUOTE ]

what does that have to do with anything?

[Vavavoom]

I'll give u a clue.....I worked abroad as a holiday rep for 4 years and have done some crazy wacky behaviour...

I have had 2 3-somes and a 4-some...

* Me & male buddy and some random chick........We absolutely put her to bed....we were having a great old time.....but did nothing to each other (FWIW)

* Me and same male friend with 2 chicks.....was quite a fun evening...

* Best of the 3 was me and a girl (8.5 out of 10) who I had been having casual sex with...and her best pal (6 out of 10) who fancied me....They got a little drunk and met me together....and I went back and had possibly the best sexula experience of my life........they did some wacky stuff together......and we all had a great time....

In answer to OP......3somes for men are :

* +EV if 2 random single women.....
* +EV if girlfriend and her pal and she suggests it...
* -EV every other possible situation that involves 3 people....

And for the record, even if it means I am one selfish Mo-Fo....No girlfriend of mine is going to be banged by another bloke whilst I'm present.....

Its a tough call..........I think if she does this now, she sets a precedent and you'll want another situation like this at another time....which she may not feel comfortable with....

[Matt Williams]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just ask yourself this question. Would you be willing to let another guy bang your wife and not be jealous?

[/ QUOTE ]

what does that have to do with anything?

[/ QUOTE ]

Why would you expect her to be OK with you being with another girl if you aren't OK with her being with another guy? Not to mention the fact that if you go ahead and do this, she might want you to return the favor and bang one of your buddies.

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm recently married, but my wife and I are still very young(23 and 22 respectively) and enjoy our share of drunken debauchery. I've noticed that when she gets smashed she gravitates toward some of our girl friends and gets a little frisky.

I know that at least one of our friends would most likely be up for it if the circumstances were right. The problem is that when my wife sobers up she denies attraction to women and gets a little defensive. She is also a little more jealous than the average wife/girlfriend.


[/ QUOTE ]

When I look into my crystal ball, I see a long history of exciting marriages for both you and your current wife.

[Martin Aigner]

First your wife should recognize that she´s more into women than she wants to realize. Then she should work on her jealousy. If she can´t handle both when sober, forget it!!!

Martin Aigner

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
* Me & male buddy and some random chick........We absolutely put her to bed....we were having a great old time.....but did nothing to each other (FWIW)
.
.
.
In answer to OP......3somes for men are :

* +EV if 2 random single women.....
* +EV if girlfriend and her pal and she suggests it...
* -EV every other possible situation that involves 3 people....


[/ QUOTE ]
So fingercuffs are -EV? I'm confused.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Why would you expect her to be OK with you being with another girl if you aren't OK with her being with another guy? Not to mention the fact that if you go ahead and do this, she might want you to return the favor and bang one of your buddies.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's just ridiculous. That's the problem with people today. They think there's something wrong with all the best double standards. /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[Cyrus]

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Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, let's see. What happens when she rightfully demands a ménage à trois with her and two guys?

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, let's see. What happens when she rightfully demands a ménage à trois with her and two guys?

[/ QUOTE ]
Its not really a double standard because its two different situations. All guys love to see two chicks making out. Few chicks love to see two guys making out.

[Cyrus]

[ QUOTE ]
* Me & male buddy and some random chick........We absolutely put her to bed.....but did nothing to each other (FWIW)

* Me and same male friend with 2 chicks.....was quite a fun evening...


[/ QUOTE ]

I noticed you did not put a disclaimer about you and your buddy in the 2nd instance.

I will let others elaborate.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Well, let's see. What happens when she rightfully demands a ménage à trois with her and two guys?

[/ QUOTE ]
Its not really a double standard because its two different situations. All guys love to see two chicks making out. Few chicks love to see two guys making out.

[/ QUOTE ]

true, but many chicks fantasize about two guys running a train on them.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, let's see. What happens when she wrongfully demands a ménage à trois with her and two guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know why you people are making these crazy assumptions that just because one thing is all right the other is. It really doesn't work that way. What's with all the idiotic feminazi rhetoric?

[Cyrus]

[ QUOTE ]
It's two different situations. All guys love to see two chicks making out. Few chicks love to see two guys making out.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are ignoring that

(a) In MA3's, things some times get out of hand. And the girl has nothing to do with it. I'm just saying.

(b) Forget the bit about two guys making out and her watching. The question is, would the original poster approve of his GF being banged by another male in a MA3? (Moot point, he just said he would never have that!)

[Vavavoom]

[ QUOTE ]


Quote:
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* Me & male buddy and some random chick........We absolutely put her to bed.....but did nothing to each other (FWIW)

* Me and same male friend with 2 chicks.....was quite a fun evening...



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I noticed you did not put a disclaimer about you and your buddy in the 2nd instance.

I will let others elaborate.

[/ QUOTE ]


**I'll put the disclaimer in now..... /images/graemlins/blush.gif**

[RunDownHouse]

[ QUOTE ]
true, but many chicks fantasize about two guys running a train on them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do they? I don't really know, but for some reason I think that many less women fantasize about that than men fantasize about two chicks. Its just so much more about the physical, tactile nature of the act for men, where women care more about emotional connections.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Its just so much more about the physical, tactile nature of the act for men, where women care more about emotional connections.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. I think it's about emotion for both...just different emotions.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
true, but many chicks fantasize about two guys running a train on them.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do they? I don't really know, but for some reason I think that many less women fantasize about that than men fantasize about two chicks. Its just so much more about the physical, tactile nature of the act for men, where women care more about emotional connections.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would agree that less women fantasize about it; I do think that more women think about it though than guys would think....

[bronzepiglet]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Would going for the trifecta be a long run mistake?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, let's see. What happens when she rightfully demands a ménage à trois with her and two guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think she is kind of opening the door for this by getting all friendly with other chicks... you're not exactly doing the same with other guys (as far as I know).

But, since she is jealous and girls are irrational and make the rules up as they go this could be a mess in the long run.

[kiemo]

Asking a threesome marriage question in a forum dedicated mostly to poker seems fairly idiotic.

I would suggest instead of devoting your time to this threesome idea, why not use the time to find a good lawyer for your inevitable divorce.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Asking a threesome marriage question in a forum dedicated mostly to poker seems fairly idiotic.

[/ QUOTE ]

You haven't spent much time in 00t, have you?

[bronzepiglet]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Its just so much more about the physical, tactile nature of the act for men, where women care more about emotional connections.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree. I think it's about emotion for both...just different emotions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right... there's potential for more/different physical sensations with 2 girls, but I think it's really the concept of getting them at the same time which really gets guys going. Which is why probably doing them one at a time with the other one present would be hotter, even though the physical sensation for each individual girl would be the same.

[squeek12]

[ QUOTE ]
Asking a threesome marriage question in a forum dedicated mostly to poker seems fairly idiotic.

I would suggest instead of devoting your time to this threesome idea, why not use the time to find a good lawyer for your inevitable divorce.

[/ QUOTE ]

Honestly, do you think that I would take this thread, count the responses ya and nay and then follow through on whichever decision it suggests? It was meant to serve as a topic of discussion. I thought it would be interesting to hear some stories and ideas on the suject. If you can't enjoy few threesome stories and ideas about how to manuever about in this situation, then your life sucks.

[Dex]

[ QUOTE ]
I think the general consensus is that you're in trouble the moment you get married.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP.

[RicktheRuler]

[ QUOTE ]
She is also a little more jealous than the average wife/girlfriend.


[/ QUOTE ]

This one is easy. The answer is no. A jealous woman cannot handle things like this.

/images/graemlins/frown.gif

[PLOlover]

The only sane thing to do would be to slip your wife and the other girl rufies while simultaneously dressing up as batman sans pants, in order to be able to pass off any remaining recollection of hers as a very strange dream.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think the general consensus is that you're in trouble the moment you get married.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP.

[/ QUOTE ]

ni han

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think the general consensus is that you're in trouble the moment you get married.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP.

[/ QUOTE ]
That too.