hitting on someone on a date... who isn't your date [Archive]

mgsimpleton

03-18-2005, 05:32 PM

ok so i went out last night with this girl... it was my 3rd date with her. we were going to this bar where there was this mixer kind of thing her friend (whom i had met previously, not through this girl) set up.

so we're at this mixer event and the girl who i'm there with is talking to me but also talking to other people, i.e. mixing or whatever. meanwhile i am talking to this other girl for quite some time. p.s. it is open bar and i am on maybe my 6th or 7th by now.

so as my date comes back over to talk to me, the other girl tells me she is leaving. she was very cool though and i couldn't just let her leave, so i asked her for her number and anyway eventually wound up giving her mine. i thought i was being discreet but then as i sit down my date says something like "good job."

now i have never cheated on anyone or anything like that and we're obviously not committed after um 2 dates but who here thinks that's a pretty dick move to do this while we were at this social together? i felt kind of stupid after she said something though i'm still only 75% on whether that's what she was referencing.

anyone have a similar story? opinions? was this a negative ev move?

swede123

03-18-2005, 05:38 PM

I guess it would depend on the vibe you got from your current date vs. the vibe you got from this new chick you met. Obviously it pretty much screws up any chance of getting on the good side of the girl you were actually on a date with, but if this new chick seemed cool enough I guess it's not a bad move. Just realize you can't have it both ways - unless they are both into that kind of thing...

Swede

mgsimpleton

03-18-2005, 05:40 PM

well the funny thing is i did still go home with the girl i was on the date with.

jakethebake

03-18-2005, 05:43 PM

[ QUOTE ]
well the funny thing is i did still go home with the girl i was on the date with.

[/ QUOTE ]

then she must've been cool with it, and meant it when she said, "good job". Now that's a cool girl!

siccjay

03-18-2005, 05:50 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Obviously it pretty much screws up any chance of getting on the good side of the girl you were actually on a date with

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, if you weren't a dick about it at all it probably made her feel MORE attracted to you. She seen that you were a cool guy, you aren't clingy and didn't need her at all. As bad as it sounds it probably helped you with the girl you were on the date with.

Bluffoon

03-18-2005, 05:53 PM

Dick Move.

How would YOU feel if you overheard your date giving her number to some guy at a bar?

swede123

03-18-2005, 06:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Obviously it pretty much screws up any chance of getting on the good side of the girl you were actually on a date with

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, if you weren't a dick about it at all it probably made her feel MORE attracted to you. She seen that you were a cool guy, you aren't clingy and didn't need her at all. As bad as it sounds it probably helped you with the girl you were on the date with.

[/ QUOTE ]

You may very well be correct. I never understood the whole thing about chicks being attracted to dicks ('cause asking for another chick's number while on a date IS a dick move no matter how you go about it) but many times they are. Then again it might be the best way to open the door to a menage...

Swede

J_V

03-18-2005, 06:08 PM

Overall, slightly dick. Depends if you liked the girl by the third date. If you don't really care and liked this other girl, gamble. Don't get caught though. Depends how old you are too. If she is very young or older, they tend to take these things more seriously. The 20-28 year age group seem to be pretty cool with the [censored] buddy relationships.

Freakin

03-18-2005, 06:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Dick Move.

How would YOU feel if you overheard your date giving her number to some guy at a bar?

[/ QUOTE ]

Word.... I'd be pissed if I was the girl. I'd probably be a catty bitch and find the girl who got your number and tell her how bad you are in bed... cause women are bitches like that. Man I would hate being a woman...

Freakin

mgsimpleton

03-18-2005, 06:12 PM

i dont know if it changes the analysis of the situation but i thought i should probably point out that i'm actually also a girl.

bernie

03-18-2005, 06:13 PM

She probably got turned on that you are in demand and she has first crack at you. Now she'll try and seperate herself from the pack to keep ya.

How was the anal she gave up?

Seriously though, if nothing has been said about exclusivity, what can be expected at that point?

However, I don't think it's a great thing to do while on a date. It doesn't sound like you're really that into her at the moment.

However, looked at from the other side, how would you have felt if she did the same thing to you? You walk up just as she's exchanging numbers with a guy?

Edit: You walk up just as she's exchanging numbers with a girl?

b

swede123

03-18-2005, 06:14 PM

Damn dykes...

bernie

03-18-2005, 06:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i dont know if it changes the analysis of the situation but i thought i should probably point out that i'm actually also a girl

[/ QUOTE ]

Titilating as that may sound, no. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't appear from your post that you were 'shopping' for a 3rd member.

b

Brian

03-18-2005, 06:20 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i dont know if it changes the analysis of the situation but i thought i should probably point out that i'm actually also a girl.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sweet. Details? Pics?

mgsimpleton

03-18-2005, 06:20 PM

haha no but the thing is that i think it may be more generally accepted in the lesbian community? also the thing is i think it might make it into less of a dick move in that i rarely meet people and it's not the guy vs. girl power dynamic kind of thing?

i don't know, all in all i was basically like what the hell i never meet anyone i like and it sucks that there are two in the same night but i'm kinda drunk so yeah what the hell. just wondering if others had similar experiences.

siccjay

03-18-2005, 06:25 PM

[ QUOTE ]
She probably got turned on that you are in demand and she has first crack at you. Now she'll try and seperate herself from the pack to keep ya.

[/ QUOTE ]

In demand is a good choice of words. I couldn't quite figure out how to word what I meant.

deacsoft

03-18-2005, 06:29 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I never understood the whole thing about chicks being attracted to dicks...

[/ QUOTE ]

You and me both, bro. You and me both.

Wingnut

03-18-2005, 06:40 PM

IMO, if one takes a "date" to a "mixer", one reaps what one sows ("one" in this case being the OP's date).

bernie

03-18-2005, 07:07 PM

[ QUOTE ]
haha no

[/ QUOTE ]

No? Well if it's ok for you, why not her? I find that rather interesting.

[ QUOTE ]
but the thing is that i think it may be more generally accepted in the lesbian community?

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you new to the lesbian community? (noting the '?' mark) I have heard that promiscuity is a little more open in the gay community. But it still comes down to basic relationship relations. Other than gender, gay relationships are really no different than hetro relationships. There are no more or less emotional attributes in the equation.

[ QUOTE ]
the thing is i think it might make it into less of a dick move in that i rarely meet people and it's not the guy vs. girl power dynamic kind of thing?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's the same exact power dynamic kind of thing. Otherwise, why did you answer 'no', that you wouldn't like it if the other girl did it to you, above? This is kind of a self-serving statment, don't you think? That thinking is also very common in hetro relationships in the same spot that you were in.

The easiest way to look at these situations, is put youself in the others' shoes. Golden Rule.

Interesting thread though.

b

siccjay

03-18-2005, 08:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I never understood the whole thing about chicks being attracted to dicks...

[/ QUOTE ]

You and me both, bro. You and me both.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's more that they are attracted to men who are confident and not needy. It just so happens that most guys who are like this are dicks.

mgsimpleton

03-18-2005, 09:18 PM

my "haha no" was in response to the shopping for a 3rd member comment which was facetious. i'm not new to the lesbian community but the thing is it is much much harder to meet people. it's not like you can go out to a friend's party and expect to find someone you like because most of the time if you do, they're not interested (hetero style).

but yeah in general i think it was kind of dick i was jsut wondering if others thought the same. i can't believe the girl that i was there with didn't seem to mind though she did say kind of coyly later "you seem like trouble" so maybe siccjay is right that she kind of liked me doing that. eh who knows.

deacsoft

03-18-2005, 09:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
It's more that they are attracted to men who are confident and not needy. It just so happens that most guys who are like this are dicks.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point.

Bluffoon

03-18-2005, 09:37 PM

siccjay

03-18-2005, 09:54 PM

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This is ridiculous. You are a complete and total moron.

[/ QUOTE ]

You know nothing about women.

Bluffoon

03-18-2005, 10:07 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is ridiculous. You are a complete and total moron.

[/ QUOTE ]

You know nothing about women.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guys... Jay thinks that going out with your woman and trying to pick up chicks is going to make your woman dig you even more. It will make you look cool and manly and she will worship you. Who wants to test this theory out?

Jay you are an Ass with a capital A.

siccjay

03-18-2005, 10:23 PM

LMAO it's like you are trying to rally the troops against me. Thats f'ing comedy.

He obviously wasn't out with his girl trying to pick up chicks. He met a girl while the girl he was with was off doing her own thing. Did the guy post himself that the girl he was with went home with him? She obviously wasn't too mad.

If you think that talking to multiple chicks in a bar doesn't make you more attractive to females, you are a retard.

Bluffoon

03-18-2005, 10:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
LMAO it's like you are trying to rally the troops against me. Thats f'ing comedy.

He obviously wasn't out with his girl trying to pick up chicks. He met a girl while the girl he was with was off doing her own thing. Did the guy post himself that the girl he was with went home with him? She obviously wasn't too mad.

If you think that talking to multiple chicks in a bar doesn't make you more attractive to females, you are a retard.

[/ QUOTE ]

You are right. Good luck with your future relationships.

siccjay

03-18-2005, 10:33 PM

Thank you. Good luck with all the female "friends" that you want to bang but won't ever get the chance.

Bluffoon

03-18-2005, 10:39 PM

You have a lot to learn son.

Michael Davis

03-18-2005, 10:42 PM

You guys are all wrong about Jay. I think a lot of his moves make him a dick, and are definitely wrong if you want to judge someone on a scale of being a good person. However, the advice he is giving you is legit. He's playing the game right, perhaps at the cost of making it only a game.

-Michael

Bluffoon

03-18-2005, 10:45 PM

AEKDBet

03-19-2005, 12:34 AM

this is a good move. It raises the value of your stock per se.

Of course if this were the 10th date this might be a disaster.

Alobar

03-19-2005, 12:47 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Obviously it pretty much screws up any chance of getting on the good side of the girl you were actually on a date with,
Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

not really....chicks dig assholes, and guys who arent interested in them.

siccjay

03-19-2005, 03:06 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You guys are all wrong about Jay. I think a lot of his moves make him a dick, and are definitely wrong if you want to judge someone on a scale of being a good person. However, the advice he is giving you is legit. He's playing the game right, perhaps at the cost of making it only a game.

-Michael

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you. I didn't make it a game. Hot chicks made it a game.

This type of advice is only for girls who are 7.5+ maybe 8+. You don't need to play games with girls that aren't hit on too often. If you are a hideous lookin dude then attracting other hideous looking girls doesn't require any type of knowledge on the subject. The people that disagree with me either already have ugly girlfriends (likely) or got lucky and met a decent girl when they were very young and stayed with them.

3rdEye

03-19-2005, 03:38 AM

I see nothing wrong with what you did. Then again, I have a penis.

LethalRose

03-19-2005, 03:40 AM

id playfully ask if she was afraid of a little competition and imply she cant handle it. Then give her the opportunity to show me why i should ignore her phonecall when she calls.

if she cant handle it and leaves, low self esteem women are not worth it, move on.

heres a book to read..."double your dating"
go!

3rdEye

03-19-2005, 04:04 AM

[ QUOTE ]
She probably got turned on that you are in demand and she has first crack at you. Now she'll try and seperate herself from the pack to keep ya.

How was the anal she gave up?

Seriously though, if nothing has been said about exclusivity, what can be expected at that point?

However, I don't think it's a great thing to do while on a date. It doesn't sound like you're really that into her at the moment.

However, looked at from the other side, how would you have felt if she did the same thing to you? You walk up just as she's exchanging numbers with a guy?

Edit: You walk up just as she's exchanging numbers with a girl?

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha, good point. Nothing--NOTHING--will give you a better chance at getting laid than creating the impression that other women are either (preferably) with you or interested in you.

Hell, she may have even banged you out of spite for the chick that got your number.