Favorite Simpsons scene

[Paluka]

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

Homer goes to the Post Office to retrieve the nasty letter he sent to Mr. Burns.

Homer: Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Clerk: Sure thing Mr. Burns. What's your first name.
Homer: I don't know.

[Soul Daddy]

Guy: Can I interest you in our free weekend session?
Homer: When is this weekend?
Guy: It's this weekend
Homer: Oh, I see... and how much is this free weekend?
Guy: Uhh... it's free
Homer: Uh huh, and when is this weekend?
Guy: It's this weekend
Homer: And how much are you charging for this free weekend?

[beerbandit]

At Moe's tavern, Homer turns to Moe for advice.

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: [bored] Yeah.
Homer: See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-jo...Junior...Shabadoo --
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[A man leaves, weeping]
Barney: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!

Homer: I'm attracted to another woman! What am I going to do?
Barney: Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. Talk to the
woman, and you'll realize you have nothing in common.
Homer: [amazed] Barney, that is so insightful. How did you come up
with that?
Barney: It was on one of these bar napkins.

[bort411]

Lisa: Dad! I had a bad dream!
Homer: Oh Lisa. You just lay down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: I know this sounds absurd, but I was dreaming that the Boogieman was chasing me and..
Homer: AAAHH! BOOGIEMAN!! (runs to Bart's room) Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but we may have an ordeal involvng a Boogieman or boogiMEN in the house!"

[MEbenhoe]

[ QUOTE ]
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

[/ QUOTE ]

thread over

[pshreck]

A thread like this makes me think out good Family Guy really is. This stuff is funny, but Family Guy has a ton of stuff that would trump this.

[Paluka]

[ QUOTE ]
A thread like this makes me think out good Family Guy really is. This stuff is funny, but Family Guy has a ton of stuff that would trump this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Family Guy is a steaming turd.

[Superfluous Man]

Dental plan.

[freehat]

[ QUOTE ]
Dental plan.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lisa needs braces

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A thread like this makes me think out good Family Guy really is. This stuff is funny, but Family Guy has a ton of stuff that would trump this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Family Guy is a steaming turd.

[/ QUOTE ]

Two words for you: Das Gym.

[Superfluous Man]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dental plan.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lisa needs braces

[/ QUOTE ]
Dental plan.

[IndieMatty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

[/ QUOTE ]

thread over

[/ QUOTE ]

[usmfan]

"Awe! A saxomaphone?"

[MEbenhoe]

Happy bday dude

[beerbandit]

Marge: [making up a batch of pancakes] Homer, I want you to encourage
Lisa with her science fair project.
Homer: [pouring syrup on a newly minted stack of pancakes] Yeah, syrup
is better than jelly.


Lisa: [showing off a tomato the size of a beach ball] I've grown a
futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.
Bart: The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of
excellence?
Lisa: The very same.


Lisa imagines a 3rd world family cutting up and giving out slices
of tomatoes freely, with a shrine devoted to Lisa. Bart's science
project investigates the effects of smoking on dogs, but Marge
doesn't like the idea.

Homer: Well, time to go to work.
Homer's brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the
Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan.
Homer's brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing.
[camera pans down to Homer's mouth, but he doesn't say
anything]
Well, off to the plant.
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Homer's brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: [panicky] I've got to think of a lie fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: Aah! [Runs off]

[B Dids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A thread like this makes me think out good Family Guy really is. This stuff is funny, but Family Guy has a ton of stuff that would trump this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Family Guy is a steaming turd.

[/ QUOTE ]

Co-Sign.

Early Simpsons is so much smarter than Family Guy it's not close. Family Guy can be funny, but it's obvious humor.

[IndieMatty]

danke

[nicky g]

One I saw the other night that I thought was good (far from the best):

Homer and plans have formed a vigiliante group.

Lisa: But Dad! All vigilante groups abuse their power. If you're going to be the police, who will police the police?

Homer: (shrugs) Ah'unno, coastguard?

[NotMitch]

[ QUOTE ]
Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No...he looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Krusty: You got to help me. My daughter found out I'm a jerk!
Marge: Oh Krusty, I'm sure she just needs time to get used to you.
Homer: Marge, my I play devil's advocate for a moment?
Marge: Sure, go ahead.

(Scene changes with Homer playing a pinball machine called "Devil's Advocate")

Homer (grunting): come on, get in there! (buzzer sound) Ohhh! Stupid game! (To Krusty) Now, what were we talking about?

[Bulldog]

[ QUOTE ]
Homer goes to the Post Office to retrieve the nasty letter he sent to Mr. Burns.

Homer: Hello. My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Clerk: Sure thing Mr. Burns. What's your first name.
Homer: I don't know.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually LOL'd reading that one! "I...don't know."

[Bulldog]

Homer: Yeah, Moe. That team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
Marge: Homer! Watch your mouth!
Homer: I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.

[beerbandit]

we are not weiner kids

[daryn]

the one with monty burns' human chessboard.

[beerbandit]

Finally, the Simpsons resort to the FBI's Witness Relocation Program.
They promise the Simpsons a new name, a new job, and a whole new
identity. Homer fantasizes about becoming John Elway, but Marge isn't
sure it's such a good idea. Homer tries to convince her: "It's a chance
to turn around all our stinkin' lives." Bart has his own ideas for a
new identity.

Bart: I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney-sweep. Clean as a whistle,
sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster. Yeah!
Homer: Shut up, boy.


The agents being suggesting possible new locations for the family.

Agent: We have places your family can hide in peace and security: Cape
Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville --
Homer: [enthusiastically] Ooh, Ice Creamville!
Agent: Er, no, Screamville.
Homer: [scared] Aah!


One agent suggests a new identity for Homer.

Agent: Tell you what, sir. From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson
at Terror Lake. Let's just practise a bit, hmm? When I say,
"Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."
Homer: Check.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly]
Agent: Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly]
[A long time later]
Agent: [sighs in frustration] Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson,"
and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! [stomps on Homer's foot a few times]
Homer: [stares blankly]
[to other agent] I think he's talking to _you_.


cheers

[kerssens]

The scene I like best when Homer barges into Bart's room offering him some brownies or to show him his new chain saw. Also..."Hey kids, you wanna go through that cactus patch?"..."Yay!"

[ QUOTE ]
Finally, the Simpsons resort to the FBI's Witness Relocation Program.
They promise the Simpsons a new name, a new job, and a whole new
identity. Homer fantasizes about becoming John Elway, but Marge isn't
sure it's such a good idea. Homer tries to convince her: "It's a chance
to turn around all our stinkin' lives." Bart has his own ideas for a
new identity.

Bart: I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney-sweep. Clean as a whistle,
sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster. Yeah!
Homer: Shut up, boy.


The agents being suggesting possible new locations for the family.

Agent: We have places your family can hide in peace and security: Cape
Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville --
Homer: [enthusiastically] Ooh, Ice Creamville!
Agent: Er, no, Screamville.
Homer: [scared] Aah!


One agent suggests a new identity for Homer.

Agent: Tell you what, sir. From now on, you'll be, uh, Homer Thompson
at Terror Lake. Let's just practise a bit, hmm? When I say,
"Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."
Homer: Check.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly]
Agent: Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly]
[A long time later]
Agent: [sighs in frustration] Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson,"
and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
Agent: Hello, Mr. Thompson! [stomps on Homer's foot a few times]
Homer: [stares blankly]
[to other agent] I think he's talking to _you_.


cheers

[/ QUOTE ]

Brilliant.

[KJS]

"Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?"

KJS

[mmcd]

"I wanna join your vigalante group"

"Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?"

[kerssens]

Skinner: [thinking] I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder: if I found out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I _think_ words I would never say.

Homer: [thinking] I know you can read _my_ thoughts, boy. [singing] Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...

[Goodie54]

I can't believe that you wrote this quote in. I use this quote all the time. One of the best ever. I just said the other day when my girlfriend asked me a question, "I dunno, Coastgaurd"

Also my favorite episode ever. Cat burglars are the best.

Peace

Goodie

[Goodie54]

I agree

One of the best

[gonores]

Scorpio: Ingenious, isn't it, Mr. Bond
Bond: Scorpio, you're completely mad.
Scorpio: I wouldn't point fingers, you jerk (very underrated line)
Bond: So, you expect me to talk?
Scorpio: I don't expect anything from you except to die, and to be a cheap funeral. You're gonna die now.

Bond frees himself and throws some gas canister at the guards.

Scorpio (coughing): Stop him, he's supposed to die!

Homer tackles Bond

Scorpio: Nice work, Homer! Boy am I proud of you. When you get home tonight, there's going to be another story on your house.
Homer: Well....just doing my job.

[Dan Rutter]

One of the funniest scenes is were Homer gets drunk during Homer and Marge's party. It is the episode were they end up going to marriage camp with Rev. Lovejoy. Homer then goes fishing at the camp for the catfish. At the party Homer is super drunk, it is just hilarious.

The
Leftorium from the begining to the end of Flanners party is just hilarious. Homers line while watching the CFL draft is one of his best.

Homer walking past a dumpster, in the episode were Bart gets a Big Brother, and sees a bum in the dumpster.

Ohh! Oscar the Grouch.

I would say my favorite three episodes are:
1) Frank Grimes works at the Power Plant
2) Homer gets a gun
3) Homer thinks Bart is gay

[ZeeJustin]

The scene w/ a lie detector in who shot Mr. Burns part II.

Cop: Did you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns?
Moe [hooked up to a lie detector]: No.
[buzz]
Moe: All right, I did. But I didn't shoot him.
[ding]
Cop: Checks out. All right, sir. You're free to go.
Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight.
[buzz]
Moe: A date.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner with friends.
[buzz]
Moe: Dinner alone.
[buzz]
Moe: Watching TV alone.
[buzz]
Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.
[buzz]
Moe: Sears catalog.
[ding]
Moe: Now will you unhook me already? I don't deserve this shabby treatment!
[buzz]

[VBM]

Apu has octuplets...

Marge- I know you have your hands full with the octuplets, so I made you some banana bread
Apu- Hallelujah! All of our problems are solved! We have banana bread!

Marge- Maybe you should hire a nanny.
Apu- And what am I supposed to pay her with, banana bread? I'm sorry, I'm really- banana bread! What in the hell were you thinking?!

[MD2020]

Since one of my favorite scenes is featured in the original post, here are a couple featuring Homer's Brain:

Insurance Guy: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place`Moe's' you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar! But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Heh heh heh. I would'a never thought of that.

and

Bigger Brother Clerk: And what are your reasons for wanting a Littler Brother?
Homer's Brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge!
Homer: Revenge.
Homer's Brain: That's it, I'm out of here.

[7ontheline]

Kinda obscure, but I just like the line. Probably not best scene ever, but oh well. Mr. X episode, as Homer is escaping the Island. . .

Male evil scientist: "Why did you think a giant bubble would stop him?"
Female evil scientist: "Shut up, that's why!"

Heh.

Or maybe the Stonecutters. . .
"Remove the Rock of Shame!"
"Woohoo!"
"Attach the Rock of Triumph!" (bigger rock)
"D'oh!"

[mcteecho]

[ QUOTE ]
Apu has octuplets...

Marge- I know you have your hands full with the octuplets, so I made you some banana bread
Apu- Hallelujah! All of our problems are solved! We have banana bread!

[/ QUOTE ]

That just made me spit chicken teriyaki on my keyboard.

[LockForward]

:Homer is awakened by the whole house shaking:
"Aah! It's the Rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes!"

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
"Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?"

[/ QUOTE ]

"Hot stuff coming through"

"Theres a spark in your hair"
"Get it out! Get it out"

"We work hard, we play hard!"

and 2 more good ones from that episode...

"Only two kinds of guys wear hawaiian shirts, gay guys and big fat party animals, and I don't think Bart is a big fat party animal"

"Just remember, I'll always love you ..... as a father!"

[woodguy]

End scene of the epidsoe where Homer buys Marge a bowling ball for her birthday that's his size and has his name.

Homer picks up Marge and starts for the door with the theme from An Officer and a Gentleman playing in the background.

Lenny "What do I tell the boss"

Homer "Tell him I going to the backseat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for 5 minutes!"

Also any scene involving Jacque the bowling instructor.

Regards,
Woodguy

[Benholio]

Homer: Hey, Flanders, heading for church? Well, I thought I could save you a little time.
Ned: Oooh, found a new shortcut?
Homer: Better. I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no God. [shows Flanders a sheet of paper with complex figuring on it]
Ned: [flustered] We'll just see about that. [reads the paper] Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mistake. [checks it again] Nope, it's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out. [he uses a lighter to burn the "proof", while in the background, Homer puts more copies of his no-God paper on the windshields of nearby cars as he whistles the Battle Hymn of the Republic]

[partygirluk]

I quite like the remake of "Mr Smith goes to Washington" as thought up by Homer.

[Tosh]

Hello Dean, you are a stupid head.
Homer is that you?
Arrrrghhh!

[edtost]

dr nick: when in doubt, just rub it against a piece of paper. if you can see through it, its you window to weight gain.

[B Dids]

I can't remember the dialog, but it involves a monkey hand and a cursed frogurt.

[Danenania]

"It's going to take a lot of fireworks to clean this mess up."

[morello]

Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson,I-- Uh oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with "repeatedly" and the word "dog".. with "son".

[theBruiser500]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A thread like this makes me think out good Family Guy really is. This stuff is funny, but Family Guy has a ton of stuff that would trump this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Family Guy is a steaming turd.

[/ QUOTE ]

Co-Sign.

Early Simpsons is so much smarter than Family Guy it's not close. Family Guy can be funny, but it's obvious humor.

[/ QUOTE ]

I passionately agree with these sentiments.

[theBruiser500]

The show where Bart is a hallguard and he takes the blame for his sister stealing the textbooks, "Principal sucker"

Wiggum: Oh my god, it just disappeared! <gasp> It's a GHOST CAR! <slams on brakes> There are ghost cars all over these highways you know!

[theBruiser500]

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

[theBruiser500]

Oh and also Futurama sucks.

[Crveballin]

Homer becomes the football coach after Flanders quits.

Homer:"Its time for the easiest part of any coaches job. The cuts. While I wasnt able to cut everyone that I wanted to, I did cut a lot of you.

Wendel is cut, Rudy is cut, Alleyne is cut. Steven, I like your hussle. Thats why it was so hard to cut you.

Congratulations!!! Everyone made the team.... Except you you and you your cut.

Now everyone run two laps and hit the showers. Oh and Rod you dont have to. Your cut. "

[theBruiser500]

I highly recommend everyone downloads "ralph wiggum sayings."

cheif wiggum: son i know just how you feel you got a great little girl and the worlds your oyster
ralph: no dad she made a fool out of me
chief wiggum: hey come to think of it she did, well she didn't recken with the awesome power of the chief of police. now where did i put my badge. hey that ducks got it

[IronDragon1]

James Bond facsimilie: Hit me Dealer
(Homer deals card)
James Bond facsimilie: Joker? You were supposed to remove these from the deck.
Homer: Oops. Sorry
(Deals another card)
James Bond facsimilie: Rules for playing stud poker?
Bond villian facsimilie: Ha! Ha ! It seems I win Mr. Bond.
James Bond facsimilie: It was all Homer's fault! I don't lose! I never lose!

[Crveballin]

[ QUOTE ]
I can't remember the dialog, but it involves a monkey hand and a cursed frogurt.

[/ QUOTE ]
Old man: Take this doll, but beware; it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Ooo, that's bad.
Old man: But it comes with a free serving of frozen yogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The frozen yogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Old man: But it comes with your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate...
Homer: (confused look)
Old man: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?