Getting an expensive gift from a girl you don't want to date.

[Sarge85]

Ok, here’s the skinny,

My best friend had been in a relationship with a girl for about a year. Well it pretty much went no where, and about a month ago he talked to her and they mutually agreed to be friends, but the romance part was gone.

I think he made the mistake of not making a clean break, and they kept hanging out together throughout the last month. They work in the same building, so I guess that can make things more complicated.

Anyway – today she “borrowed” his rig to run some errands.

Turns out the whole running errands bit was a lie, and she actually had a nice stereo systems installed in his rig – probably a couple hundred bucks easy. IMO (and I think his too) not something you spend on …just a friend. He thought they were on the same page, but it would appear not.

What’s my friends move?? He doesn’t want a relationship with this girl beyond just friends, and doesn’t want to be a dick.

Sarge/images/graemlins/diamond.gif

EDIT: I told him he shouldn't accept the gift, but he's not sure you can return a car stereo.

[ThaSaltCracka]

maybe buy her an equally nice gift and then tell her you just want to be friends, but you are giving a nice gift anyways because you didn't want to feel like a jerk?

probably a bad idea. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Cubswin]

A girl who buys expensive gifts after you break up with her.... whats the problem? If it really is an issue send her my way /images/graemlins/wink.gif

cubs

[adios]

I'd recommend he tells her exactly how he feels. He might get a different perspective after doing so. Who knows why she bought him the gift but why guess. Maybe she thought she owed him $200 or something. This doesn't seem to be too difficult to me.

[Beerfund]

[ QUOTE ]

Ok, here’s the skinny,

My best friend had been in a relationship with a girl for about a year. Well it pretty much went no where, and about a month ago he talked to her and they mutually agreed to be friends, but the romance part was gone.

I think he made the mistake of not making a clean break, and they kept hanging out together throughout the last month. They work in the same building, so I guess that can make things more complicated.

Anyway – today she “borrowed” his rig to run some errands.

Turns out the whole running errands bit was a lie, and she actually had a nice stereo systems installed in his rig – probably a couple hundred bucks easy. IMO (and I think his too) not something you spend on …just a friend. He thought they were on the same page, but it would appear not.

What’s my friends move?? He doesn’t want a relationship with this girl beyond just friends, and doesn’t want to be a dick.

Sarge/images/graemlins/diamond.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Get more, get all he can. Freaking girls do it all the time! It's not about being a dick it's about keeping a balance in the universe. It's his duty as a man and if he has to sleep with her every once in awhile to keep getting free [censored] then that's a sacrifice he's gonna have to make. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Sarge85]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd recommend he tells her exactly how he feels. He might get a different perspective after doing so. Who knows why she bought him the gift but why guess. Maybe she thought she owed him $200 or something. This doesn't seem to be too difficult to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this going to end up him being the dick by default, and her having hurt feelings, but there aren't alot of other options here.

Sarge/images/graemlins/diamond.gif

[BeerMoney]

OMG......... If the situation was reversed, females would totally let the guy buy her gifts and not think twice. Please let him enjoy this once in a lifetime situation.

[Ulysses]

"rig" haha

[Sarge85]

That's Pacific Northwest speak for - Isuza Trooper.

Forgive my dialiect. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Sarge/images/graemlins/diamond.gif

[stabn]

I thought it was isuzu /images/graemlins/smile.gif. I guess i was also mistakely thought rigs could only be actual trucks, and not silly SUV wannabe's /images/graemlins/smile.gif.

[deacsoft]

Here's my two cent on your friend's behalf:
He needs to find out what her motives are. I suggest that he takes her out to dinner (they drive seprately and meet there. this makes ending the evening much easier). No place fancy. Just some place nice were they can feel comfortable and talk. Of course, as a nice gesture in return for the stereo, your friend pick up the bill (dinner, drinks, tip, etc). While they're in a nice and public place (the public place reduces the factor of sexual tension and decreases the chance of a scene if things go wrong) he should just be honest and say something along these lines, "Thanks again for the stereo. It's great and I realy appreciate it. But I was wondering, and I'm not sure how to say this, but why did you do that?"

This should buy your friend a few minutes to stratigize his next move, and could possibly end the whole situation. However she's a girl and most likely won't give a straight answer so we'll move on...

She responds by saying something like, "Just to be nice".

Now he must act quickly by coming back with something like, "Well, it was very nice of you. I just don't want to see this the wrong way. It's too bad things ended up the way they did, but I don't want to send any mixed signals here. To be truthful, I'm not sure how to respond to this. I don't know if I should get something for you. I don't know if I should just accept and try not to feel guilty about any of this".

She interupts by saying, "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty".

He responds with, "I know, but I'm just not sure how to take this all. I love the fact that we can still be friends, but I need to have closure and know that you're okay with this too." Now his truthfulness and sensitivity score him points. Giving him the edge he needs to get the real answer and be able to close the deal. She should now feel at ease and may actually let the truth slip out. At this point your friend should know if he's going to get the motive that he needs to cure the dilemma or not, and should be able to feel his way out of the conversation, up from the table, to the counter to py the bill, out to his car, and to his place (ALONE).

disclaimer: This is "take it for what it's worth" advice. I am in no way, shape, or form guaranteeing a victory for the home team. Women are a mystery and unpredictable. All advice is null and void if at any time between now and dinner he sleeps with her.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
My best friend had been in a relationship with a girl for about a year. Well it pretty much went no where, and about a month ago he talked to her and they mutually agreed to be friends, but the romance part was gone.

I think he made the mistake of not making a clean break, and they kept hanging out together throughout the last month.

[/ QUOTE ]


Bingo!

This arrangement rarely works. When splitting, the 2 need time apart, if anything to refocus on something other than their ex. Or on someone else for awhile.

I'd return the stereo.

In her eyes, he isn't getting out of being a dick no matter what he does. Plan for it. If something else results, consider it luck.

b

[Lawrence Ng]

I have a strong feeling that this girl's intentions are meant to be more than just a "friend."

I once had a girl who took me out around my birthday to this really swanky jazz club where we had a very nice dinner and front row seats with a packed house listening to this wicked jazz band. The bill for the night came to over $150. I had a feeling she "liked" me because no regular friend of mine would ever give such a nice present like that.

In the end, I just told a semi-lie. I said I wasn't ready for a relationship and it wasn't fair to her. So I fibbed. I just don't have the heart to tell someone who likes me that I don't like them straight to their face. And I never use the "let's only be friends" routine cuz I get it a lot and it stings like sh*t.

Your friend has to lie too. Be smooth and sensitive, but honest enough that she gets the point.

Good luck.

Lawrence

[Rick Diesel]

What I would do:

I would take her out to a nice restaurant to thank her for the great gift. Drinks would go down quickly. Then I would take her back to her place, to thank her in a more Diesel like manner. I would continue this trend of thanking her this way over the course over the next few weeks, while occasionally cancelling on her once a week because I "have a really hot date".

Soon she will come to realize that we are only f**k buddies, and will expect only sex and no relationship. Now I have her right where I want her. If she tries to escalate the relationship further, I just get more and more distant, while purposely (although sometimes it isn't exactly purposely) performing worse and worse in the sack. Soon she will be wanting to end it. If she does not want the relationship to escalate, then i just keep banging the f**k out of her until something better comes along.

What most non-pimps would do:

Follow deacsoft's advice.


Rick Diesel

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
What I would do:

I would take her out to a nice restaurant to thank her for the great gift. Drinks would go down quickly. Then I would take her back to her place, to thank her in a more Diesel like manner. I would continue this trend of thanking her this way over the course over the next few weeks, while occasionally cancelling on her once a week because I "have a really hot date".

Soon she will come to realize that we are only f**k buddies, and will expect only sex and no relationship. Now I have her right where I want her. If she tries to escalate the relationship further, I just get more and more distant, while purposely (although sometimes it isn't exactly purposely) performing worse and worse in the sack. Soon she will be wanting to end it. If she does not want the relationship to escalate, then i just keep banging the f**k out of her until something better comes along.

What most non-pimps would do:

Follow deacsoft's advice.


Rick Diesel

[/ QUOTE ]

That is great advice if he's just looking to get laid. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[dr. klopek]

What's the problem?

[Rick Diesel]

[ QUOTE ]
That is great advice if he's just looking to get laid. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Is there anything else that matters, other than beer?

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
Is there anything else that matters, other than beer?

[/ QUOTE ]

Not to a pimp, I'm sure.

[deacsoft]

Are you not going to at least compensate us for our time and effort by telling us what happened next?

[itsmesteve]

[ QUOTE ]
Get more, get all he can. Freaking girls do it all the time! It's not about being a dick it's about keeping a balance in the universe. It's his duty as a man and if he has to sleep with her every once in awhile to keep getting free [censored] then that's a sacrifice he's gonna have to make.

[/ QUOTE ]

love it!