My girlfriend wants me to stop playing!

[mittman84]

[ QUOTE ]
You need to nip this in the bud right now. Tell her to respect your boundries, you are making money doing this, and if she wants to start paying for all of your dates then you would probably not, but might consider cutting back your poker. I see this as a warning sign. If a girl is gonna complain about you making money she will complain about anything. This would actually be enough for me to drop her, even if I never planed on playing another hand of poker again.

[/ QUOTE ] couldnt agree more, even if you didnt care to play poker agian why would you want a girl like that. to quote the above post again "if a girl is going to complain about you playing poker she will complain about anything" if you were losing money or making very small amounts of money i could understand, but if you are making a pretty good amount of money, like it sounds, than she is way out of line. I am also a college students who has found the goldmine called internet poker, its the greatest thing ever. I can make more in one night than I would make in a two week pay check at my former part time job, you can make a hell of a living (for a college kid) by playing just 10-20 hours a week, and have all the time in the world for a g/f, studying, and friends. sounds like your girl wants to take that away from you, check out askmen.com , sounds like you need some help to quit being such a pussy

[sweetjazz]

First, Hobbes truly understands women and how to explain them in poker terms. Listen to his sage words.

For me, my personal autonomy is more important than a relationship with a woman (maybe that will change in the future but that's how I feel now). But for you, it might be different. Nobody can really tell you what to do, because it depends on how much you value your poker playing, how much you value your relationship, how you perceive doing or not doing what your girlfriend asks will affect your relationship, etc.

Good luck making your decision.

PS - A b***job may be better than pocket aces, but are back-to-back b***jobs better than back-to-back pocket aces? Just a random irrelevant thought.

[Alexthegreat]

Asking for advice on this is truly stupid.

You are the only one who can figure this out, cause you are the only one who knows how your girlfrined is.....

[KeysrSoze]

Simplest solution ever: Dump her.

[pokerjoker]

"in the poker game of life women are the rake"

on a serious note, poker shouldn't get in the way of u enjoying ur last year of college. I am a senior this year too. I am not sure if you should cutback or if ur girl is just controling. Thats ur decision. It sounds like 10 hours a week is about right from how you put it.

[Mr_J]

Unbelievable. Put your foot down and tell her how it's going to be. You can't let her control you like this. MAKE her understand that if you don't play, then she doesn't get any pressies, nice dinners etc. If you let her run you over like this, the relationship will become much tougher for you. Don't follow the majority of married males and make this mistake.

I can't believe what I am reading here.

Do ANY of you EVER get laid? Or do you just sit drinking brews with your mates complaining about what bitches women are?

She is NOT a controlling bitch.

She is NOT making a power play.

She is NOT concerned with his poker playing.

In almost every case I have ever encountered like this, the situation is that she is feeling neglected by her boyfriend and is taking it out on the one thing that he loves most.

What this means is that he is probably not spending quality time with her. They may spend time together, but he is probably not doing special things for her, probably not making her feel like she is important to him, and probably not doing what he needs to do to keep his woman happy.

Lets face it - none of us is perfect and we all have our ego and our pride. It is EXTREMELY difficult for a woman to come out and say "I don't feel like you treat me like I am special" - that is very hard to do.

What you NEED to do is to sit down with her and talk about what is really going on for her. Is it really about the poker or is it about the time you guys spend together? Maybe try and sugges that you guys establish some ground rules - you will still play the same number of hours, but you will do them at specific times when she is not around - and then when she is around, you will not play poker at all - things like that.

If you want to move into the realm of mature relationships, it is absolutely essential that you understand that people often don't say what they feel - but when they say something, chances are that there is a real and legitimate feeling behind it. IF you truly care about someone and want to continue in the relationship, you will make an effort to understand the underlying issues and not simply blow up at her for saying something that, to you, sounds ridiculous.

So instead of reacting with childish anger, try to be mature and understanding.

[stupidsucker]

For the most part I agree with Hank, but no one here has any idea of her true intentions.

She may very well be a controling bitch, or the OP for all I know is exagerating on her requests.

Communication is the key for both of you. All of the stuff said about holding your own and not giving in have merit, but there is a fine line between being a stuborn ass and being strong willed.

Her asking you to cut out poker to 3 hours a week if it is your job is not much of an option if you want/need to play more. Comprimise in the middle ground, make her feel special and make sure she knows that she > poker, but poker is still important to you.

I am curious on the relationship status of the advice giving from the posters in this thread.

[Autocratic]

[ QUOTE ]
I can't believe what I am reading here.

Do ANY of you EVER get laid? Or do you just sit drinking brews with your mates complaining about what bitches women are?

She is NOT a controlling bitch.

She is NOT making a power play.

She is NOT concerned with his poker playing.

In almost every case I have ever encountered like this, the situation is that she is feeling neglected by her boyfriend and is taking it out on the one thing that he loves most.

What this means is that he is probably not spending quality time with her. They may spend time together, but he is probably not doing special things for her, probably not making her feel like she is important to him, and probably not doing what he needs to do to keep his woman happy.

Lets face it - none of us is perfect and we all have our ego and our pride. It is EXTREMELY difficult for a woman to come out and say "I don't feel like you treat me like I am special" - that is very hard to do.

What you NEED to do is to sit down with her and talk about what is really going on for her. Is it really about the poker or is it about the time you guys spend together? Maybe try and sugges that you guys establish some ground rules - you will still play the same number of hours, but you will do them at specific times when she is not around - and then when she is around, you will not play poker at all - things like that.

If you want to move into the realm of mature relationships, it is absolutely essential that you understand that people often don't say what they feel - but when they say something, chances are that there is a real and legitimate feeling behind it. IF you truly care about someone and want to continue in the relationship, you will make an effort to understand the underlying issues and not simply blow up at her for saying something that, to you, sounds ridiculous.

So instead of reacting with childish anger, try to be mature and understanding.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think putting your foot down is "childish anger." If she wanted to tell him that she wants to spend more time with him, she did a terrible job of doing so. Despite apparently thinking that no one here gets laid, you eventually agree with the fact that he should not bend over backwards to appease her, which is exactly what everyone is driving at. Obviously the calls to dump her are a bit much, and probably won't be taken seriously anyway, but if you don't think she's making a power play here, you are out of your mind.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I can't believe what I am reading here.

Do ANY of you EVER get laid? Or do you just sit drinking brews with your mates complaining about what bitches women are?

She is NOT a controlling bitch.

She is NOT making a power play.

She is NOT concerned with his poker playing.

In almost every case I have ever encountered like this, the situation is that she is feeling neglected by her boyfriend and is taking it out on the one thing that he loves most.

What this means is that he is probably not spending quality time with her. They may spend time together, but he is probably not doing special things for her, probably not making her feel like she is important to him, and probably not doing what he needs to do to keep his woman happy.

Lets face it - none of us is perfect and we all have our ego and our pride. It is EXTREMELY difficult for a woman to come out and say "I don't feel like you treat me like I am special" - that is very hard to do.

What you NEED to do is to sit down with her and talk about what is really going on for her. Is it really about the poker or is it about the time you guys spend together? Maybe try and sugges that you guys establish some ground rules - you will still play the same number of hours, but you will do them at specific times when she is not around - and then when she is around, you will not play poker at all - things like that.

If you want to move into the realm of mature relationships, it is absolutely essential that you understand that people often don't say what they feel - but when they say something, chances are that there is a real and legitimate feeling behind it. IF you truly care about someone and want to continue in the relationship, you will make an effort to understand the underlying issues and not simply blow up at her for saying something that, to you, sounds ridiculous.

So instead of reacting with childish anger, try to be mature and understanding.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think putting your foot down is "childish anger." If she wanted to tell him that she wants to spend more time with him, she did a terrible job of doing so. Despite apparently thinking that no one here gets laid, you eventually agree with the fact that he should not bend over backwards to appease her, which is exactly what everyone is driving at. Obviously the calls to dump her are a bit much, and probably won't be taken seriously anyway, but if you don't think she's making a power play here, you are out of your mind.

[/ QUOTE ]

My response was definitely over the top - I know that.

I don't think he should bend over backwards to appease her - but I also believe that before he assumes that she is just trying to control his life, that he should first consider whether its possible that he brought this on himself through his actions.

Understand that this is not about whether she was right in what she did or said - its about what is going to work to solve this problem between them.

What bothered me about the responses is that people are all advocating taking some sort of hard-line with her - and to me, that is just not how you treat a woman who is your girlfriend. Sure, if she refuses to be reasonable and if, after discussing it, it becomes clear that this really is about control, then he should act on that. But as a first step, I think that you need to begin with an attitude of understanding.

There is a REASON why she wants him to play less poker. It is possible that its because she is a controlling bitch who can't stand to see her man doing anything that she is not involved in. But is FAR more likely that she is just trying to express that she feels neglected or like she is not the most important part of his life - and if she isn't, then he should just do the honorable thing and break up with her.