women vs. men (from casinomeister newsletter) OT

[GrannyMae]

i know this is as old as me, but i still think it is funny

<font color="green">DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish................49
Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
Athletic..........................No tits
Average looking....................Ugly
Beautiful................................Pathologi cal liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist........................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
Fun...................................Annoying
New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned.......................No BJs
Open-minded............................Desperate
Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate....................Sloppy drunk
Professional.........................Bitch
Voluptuous...............Very Fat
Large frame.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

</font>

[TimM]

Should I be frightened that my mom sent this exact same joke to me in an e-mail this morning? [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
Should I be frightened that my mom sent this exact same joke to me in an e-mail this morning? [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe your mom is secretly actually Granny Mae! Funny post though, shockingly it's not one of the 1,000,000 e-mail forwards I've received in my lifetime.

[GrannyMae]

Should I be frightened that my mom sent this exact same joke to me in an e-mail this morning?

maybe you mom is a compulsive bingo player and subscribes to casinomeister's newsletter?? i would consider an intervention.

[thomastem]

They should have one of these for buzzards and pelicans.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
maybe you mom is a compulsive bingo player and subscribes to casinomeister's newsletter??

[/ QUOTE ]

Not likely, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone from her office is. Still, on my next visit I think I should sneak into her closet and check her nightgown size. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[GrannyMae]

nightgown size


OOOOOOO, nice opportunity!!

TOEJAM3 NEXT THURSDAY, 8pm ET @ PARADISE

password = OLDHAG (all caps)

bounties, prizes &amp; add-ons

$10R&amp;A, DA Caminsa is still up for grabs. i'm thinking first OUT shoud get it, not 2nd place. i will assemble a tribal council tonight and decide.

ty Tim!