#1
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Define Palestinian: \"Jew-Hater.\" Dennis Miller Rant.
I recieved this as a forwarded email and found it quite interesting... discuss.
------------- "For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian who has a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is not Jewish. He recently went on a rant about the Mideast situation: "A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need. Here we go: The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians". As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death." I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course --that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's Earth, you know that's really saying something. It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast. Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five Million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, Everyone will be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding. My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse the Numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death. Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of super models who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some. After September 11th our president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint. If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan." |
#2
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Miller Time
"There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word."
This is just plain hogwash. Read any 19th century account of travel through Palestine and that's exactly what it's called and there are reports about . . . Palestinians. Usually negative reports, as European reports about natives usually were. "As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the Palestinians, weeping for their deep bond with their lost 'land' and 'nation'." More hoghwash. The Palestinians objected to the Zionist enterprise, recognizing it for what it was, an attempt to take over their land, from the very beginning. There was a revolt in the 1930s and all Zionist leaders of all political stripes, from the Socialists to the Revisionists, recognized the Palestinian resistance for what it was: nationalist strivings. "Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not." Of course not? Of course yes. They did it. Menachem Begin's book about it, The Revolt has been used as a virtual manual for terrorists, from the Palestinians themselves to the IRA. "Mr. Bush, God bless him . . ." . . . has called for the establishment of a Palestinian state because he understands history better than Mr. Miller. The denial of the existence of the Palestinians is at the route of the problem. The attitude that Palestine was "a land without people for a people without a land" is at the route of the problem. That some people still want to claim this in 2005 is nothing short of incredible. There is plenty of blame to go around on both the Israeli and Palestinian side for the current sad state of affairs, but Miller's rant is disgusting, there is no other word for it. |
#3
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Re: Miller Time
Read any 19th century account of travel through Palestine and that's exactly what it's called and there are reports about . . . Palestinians
Actually, back then, Palestinian was the word for Jews from the area. The arabs called themselves Syrians to be associated with the Syrian empire and distance themselves from the Jewish inhabitants. Of course not? Of course yes. They did it. Menachem Begin's book about it, The Revolt has been used as a virtual manual for terrorists, from the Palestinians themselves to the IRA. Suicide was not part of the Revolt against British occupation and Arab terror, but terrorism as counter-terrorism certainly was. |
#4
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Re: Miller Time
You also have to love how the race card can be played against a race, and that a Palestinian is defined only by anti-semitism. But then again, to oppose Zionism or criticize state of Israel is to be an anti-semite according to the ADL.
I just lost a massive amount of respect for Dennis Miller. |
#5
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Re: Miller Time
If Palestinian was the word for Jews "from the area," what would the name of that area have been?
The lowest estimates claim there were about 410,000 Arab Muslims and Christians in Palestine in 1893. A Zionist estimate claimed there were over 600,000 Arabs in Palestine in the 1890s. Let's not deny that the people existed and that they had a nexus with the land. Yes, the suicide bomber was a Palestinian innovation. |
#6
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Re: Miller Time
[ QUOTE ]
I just lost a massive amount of respect for Dennis Miller. [/ QUOTE ] There is some doubt over if this rant was the work of Dennis Miller or another comedian Larry Miller. It's been attributed to both. ETA: Snopes says Larry http://www.snopes.com/Inboxer/outrage/miller.htm |
#7
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Re: Miller Time
I don't like either of their politics, but I like both of them both as comedians. I was probably one of the few persons on the planet who liked Miller on Monday Night Football. Larry Miller's old stand-up routine about going on a ski trip is a classic.
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#8
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Re: Miller Time
[ QUOTE ]
I just lost a massive amount of respect for Dennis Miller. [/ QUOTE ] Yikes. I sat through maybe half of one of his monologues and was stunned at the lack of ANYTHING even remotely funny. I sat there and wondered how he got out of the Monday Night Football booth without getting his ass kicked. I never thought he was funny on SNL and can't believe that anyone cares about his point of view. Oh yeah, the audience was barely even clapping at his jokes. It was a complete bomb. |
#9
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Re: Miller Time
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I just lost a massive amount of respect for Dennis Miller. [/ QUOTE ] Yikes. I sat through maybe half of one of his monologues and was stunned at the lack of ANYTHING even remotely funny. I sat there and wondered how he got out of the Monday Night Football booth without getting his ass kicked. I never thought he was funny on SNL and can't believe that anyone cares about his point of view. Oh yeah, the audience was barely even clapping at his jokes. It was a complete bomb. [/ QUOTE ] OT, but he was not funny on SNL. I thought he was funny as a stand-up before that. He sucked Monday Night. It was a very intellectual style of humor, but he seemed to lose it as he got older. Also, on his cable show, being high every show took it's toll on his brain. Still, I never thought he would say something so stupid, although some doubt has been cast on the authorship. Who knows. |
#10
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Re: Miller Time
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I just lost a massive amount of respect for Dennis Miller. [/ QUOTE ] There is some doubt over if this rant was the work of Dennis Miller or another comedian Larry Miller. It's been attributed to both. ETA: Snopes says Larry http://www.snopes.com/Inboxer/outrage/miller.htm [/ QUOTE ] Interesting. |
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