X's Crackhead Conspiracy Theories

[Exsubmariner]

Hey Guys,
I figured it was time to lighten up a bit. So, I came up with a couple of fun conspiracies on the spirit of the wacko left with a different spin to them. I'm going to shoot holes in them myself, but if any of you neo cons out there want to provide supporting evidence, feel free.

Theory 1: The Governor of LA and Mayor of NO were purposefully negligent in their response to hurricane Katrina in order to ensure the most destruction possible. By ensuring the most destruction, they are assured that the most federal money will be given to their state that they can then steal through the normal corrupt LA political process. Also, insurers will be be forced to pay more in damages, so perhaps a LA state bureaucracy could be set up to administer payouts from insurers to LA state citizens. Spoken, more corruption. This natural disaster could serve as a boon to corrupt politicians everywhere in LA.

Theory 2. The LA Governor and Mayor of NO were negligent in their response to the hurricane because they were following marching orders from the Democratic Party. A poor response insured the most human suffering possible, providing an opportunity for Democrats everywhere to demonize the Bush Administration yet again. The poor response was nothing more than a complicated political scheme to provide evidence to the Democratic voting base in LA of how the "Man" doesn't care about them. This campaign could be later echoed in the Presidential Platform of Hillary Clinton, appealing to oppressed minorities everywhere in the US.

I was really tempted for about 2 seconds to give these serious thought but then realized the futility of the exercise because all the parties involved here, from the bureaucrats in the Federal Government to the politicians of LA are just friggin idiots. Hatching plots and scenarios like these take brains and those are in short supply on the part of all players here. The only part of this that wouldn't suprise me is Hillary's campaign trying to capitalize on this in a Presidential run. That would appease the wacko left and further alienate people she doesn't want voting for her anyway.

The ball has been served, have fun everybody.

X

[Arnfinn Madsen]

The East Russians are probably also involved somehow. Maybe they started the hurricane.

How 'bout this one:

George Bush is actually a Manchurian Candidate, i.e. he's been brainwashed by Al Qaeda. They've instructed him to let Bin Laden escape in Afghanistan, start a war in Iraq for demonstrably false reasons with way too few troops, and generally make the US look like assholes to the rest of the world. His monthlong vacations in August are actually reprogramming sessions with occasional breaks to clear brush. His Al Qaeda handlers weren't familiar with New Orleans geography, and didn't expect the damage to be so severe, so they didn't release him in time to get to New Orleans and look concerned at the devastation.

[hurlyburly]

Theory 1: Close, but no cigar. The process failed to prevent the Saints from moving. They're going to get a rocking new stadium deal. The liberal media is in cohoots, giving them so much airtime this year that they'll take the "America's Team" title from the Cowboys.

Theory 2: The Dem party should have learned the lesson when they failed to steal the presidency by funding 9/11 too far away from the 2004 election. BUT, since this event does involve a wide dispersal of Dem voters that could affect result in some key states, that may have been on purpose.