OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.

[Harv72b]

"I think I'll move to Hoboken," Jimmy Jenson thought as he stared at the grass in his yard--green, like a 1973 Dodge Dart; wavy, like one's vision after inhaling too many exhaust fumes from a 1973 Dodge Dart; smelling of manure, like the upholstery of a 1973 Dodge Dart; alive, like his ex-girlfriend in the trunk of a 1973 Dodge Dart; and long, like a compound sentence gone awry.

__________________________________________________ ______

Words.

__________________________________________________ ______

Charles Manson had always fancied himself a figure skater.

__________________________________________________ ______

Massed in orbit around the fragile blue world, Earth, the alien invasion fleet began its atmospheric descent, great processions of battle cruisers and landing craft resembling the tentacles of some giant, space-faring squid, except that a squid couldn't possibly survive unprotected in space...or could it?

__________________________________________________ _______

"I feel like Alice will always be alive, somewhere inside of me," Humphrey announced, as he wiped his lips and put down the hip bone.

__________________________________________________ ______

Captain Sir Lance Humpalot stroked the the supple, naked breast of his lover, savoring the pungent aroma which lingered from their night of passionate love-making, which had sadly resulted in the deaths of three chimpanzees but which he reckoned to be a fair price to pay for love. "Fred, darling," he cooed.