Well I've hit Rock Bottom

Angelic_Ace · #1 11-07-2005, 03:03 AM

Been a profitable player for about a year to 2 years. Got laid off my job 2 weeks ago and have been giving it a try as a 'pro' online. What followed was the worst run of luck I've ever had, and this is playing 30 hrs a week for 2 years. I have seen some f'ed up things in that time, but this is a whole new level. My bankroll is been cut in half, despite playing what I think is the best poker of my life. It almost seems personal, as if life is trying to tell me to quit playing. I almost had a nervous breakdown today after getting stacked five times, twice with KK vs AA, twice getting two outed on river for all my money. Then I played some sit and go's and couldn't place in a single one out of 10. Anyway the specifics don't really matter, we've all had bad runs, this last 2 weeks has just been hell for me, particularly because this is my only income now. I just took all my money out of the online sites, I've been laying here on the floor staring at the cieling just feeling horribly empty and worthless. All the profit I made grinding my ass off last week has been swallowed up and more in the last 3 days, leaving me at zero profit in the last month. The thought of getting an awful bust-ass day job makes me want to kill myself, but apparently I don't have any options left. Poker just can not be counted on to make a living, at least for me. Some people make it sound like its the easiest living imaginable, making 100k + a year no problem only playing 20-30 hrs a week. ANyway just posting this to see if there's any good advice out there for someone who has hit rock bottom poker-wise. I've spent the last 2 years intensely devoting myself to the game, and to not even be able to make 20/hr at this point with a 140 IQ makes me feel like a worthless sack of [censored].

PokerAce · #2 11-07-2005, 03:14 AM

I know how you feel. The first month after I quit my job to play for a living had me going on a 275 BB downswing, followed by a 200 BB upswing, then immediately after a 200 BB downswing. For months after that, I dealt with an abnormal amount of negative variance over about 150k hands.

After taking nearly 3 months off to clear my head and work full-time on PA Hud, I can see that I wasn't playing as optimally as I had thought.

When you run bad, there's nothing you can do to get out of it. The cards will fall how they will fall and it's up to you to lose as little as possible. The most important thing you can do now is to ignore the beats and concentrate on making the best decisions on each and every hand. Don't avoid a value bet because you're afraid they drew out. Don't call a bet you should be raising because you think the next card will kill your hand. Poker is a game that rewards aggression. It's natural to want to play cautious when you're losing. However, all that does is slow down your recovery.

So, in short, make sure you don't let the beats affect your play. The game is a lot more stressful when it's your only source of income, but you need to put that out of your mind while you're playing.

Some things you can do to try to help:

# Take a few days off
# Play fewer tables.
# Pay more attention (no TV, 2+2, AIM, etc while at the tables)
# Read some books
# Post hands for discussion

Good luck and don't let a crappy run get you down.

psyduck · #3 11-07-2005, 05:35 AM

You're at the party 55s and NL100? I'd have a $5,000 bankroll and PROVEN success (like 100K NL hands or 5,000 SNGs) before deciding to go pro.

Getting stacked twice and going 10/10 OOTM should be like a $700 loss, not a half-bankroll loss.

Sorry, but I think you should have prepared better or played a lot more before deciding to do this for a living.

What I suggest: take a day off, drop down to the 33s and NL 50 to recoup, and don't move back up till you have 100+ buyins for the 55 SNGs.

4thstreetpete · #4 11-07-2005, 07:27 AM

Hey Angelic_Ace sorry to hear things are going so bad for you. I think a lot of pros know that the 300bb bankroll stategy is flawed. It appears to me that you're playing with a small bankroll and way above your means. You should also understand variance.

Having shown a $0 profit this month should not cause you to go into a nervous breakdown. You must have some savings prepared in case this happens. FWIW, I've ran into some of the worst luck a few months back and had a month where I actually lost money for the month. This never happened to me in about 2 years that I've played semipro but it shows that it can happen. It helps now that I play with a super inflated bankroll for the limits that I'm playing so even a losing month doesn't affect me that much.

I don't think anyone ever said making 100K a year is easy, it has a lot to do with the limits you play though. Take a few days break and regroup. A lot of players have had stories when they've gone bust and had to regroup including myself earlier in my poker career. I almost gave it up at one point but thought it through that I was a winning player and a little setback is something that I'll have to accept.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

jaydub · #5 11-07-2005, 12:33 PM

You should find a job. You do not have the capability to play poker professionally. Treat it as a hobby or secondary source of income.

TheGame1020 · #6 11-07-2005, 01:35 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You should find a job. You do not have the capability to play poker professionally. Treat it as a hobby or secondary source of income.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please jump to conclusions.

TheGame1020 · #7 11-07-2005, 01:36 PM

I read your post in psychology forum. I can offer you something that may help in your downswing. It requires more poker skill but can be more profitable if you are good. Poker propping, let me know if you are interested.

jaydub · #8 11-07-2005, 02:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You should find a job. You do not have the capability to play poker professionally. Treat it as a hobby or secondary source of income.

[/ QUOTE ]

Please jump to conclusions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Reread his post and then tell me it isn't blatantly obvious that OP lacks the mental toughness to play poker as a primary source of income.

#9 11-07-2005, 03:43 PM

Take a few days off and get yourself together mentally. That should help.

captZEEbo1 · #10 11-07-2005, 04:15 PM

if this is your test as poker being your full time job or not, you might be more nervous about playing since this will determine if you can handle it or not and whether or not you will need a new job.