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  #1  
Old 12-07-2005, 02:47 PM
Riverman Riverman is offline
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Default Post your best hammered casino poker story here

Inspired by the sad news at the borgata thread...

Junior year of college there was this kid that always wanted to go to AC with us, so one time we brought him. Total alcoholic and one of the worst card players ever. He starts out playing 3/6 but after about 10 makers marks he decided he needs to play 20/40 instead. He empties his ATM and sure enough goes on the rush of his life. But what was great was that every time he was on a draw he would announce his cards and inform the dealer that if his draw came he would tip half the pot. Each time he would stand up and yell "SPADE! COME ON DEALER! PUT A F*CKING SPADE UP THERE!" for example. Low and behold he hits a handfull of straights/flushes, keeping his word and tipping half the pot each time.

On one occasion, however, while trying to give $100 stacks of red to the dealer as a tip, he knocks over the chips and they spill in the rack and get mixed in with the fill. This is bad news and the game is delayed almost 30 minutes. During this time he goes to play craps (he has no idea what the rules are) Wins 2000 by hitting bulshit like hard 12, snake eyes, and other longshots, and promptly tips 1000 (half) upon leaving the table.

Kind of sad and amazing at the same time- and yes he did manage to lose every penny before we went home.

I know you guys have some good ones, post them here please.
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  #2  
Old 12-07-2005, 03:46 PM
Howard Burroughs Howard Burroughs is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

Well not "Best" but recent.....


Me and some buddies are out all night drinking shots, beer, bourbon, mudslides etc.

I'm falling down drunk. I decide to go play no-limit hold'em. I tell my buddies to come along and sweat me and get unlimited free drinks.


I buy-in for $200. A small raise to me on my first hand. I look down to find 66. I'm too drunk for any post-flop thinking, I push.


Folded to pre-flop raiser. He does the TV pre-flop chip dance, the WPT stare-down and the "I know I have you beat" speech.

I look at him and say, "If you have me beat b!tch, put your money in the pot".

He calls.


99, Oh well, I'm drunk & Stupid.


I just hang my head in drunken shame as the flop, turn & river are being delivered to their proper destination. Never looking up

I bring my head up from shame and look over to Mr 99 to see if he rightfully lets me have it for my friendly trash talking.

He's not there. I just see his back as he's walking to the rail. I look down at the board cards. A beautiful sexy six. And my hand is good. YMMV.


Howard
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  #3  
Old 12-07-2005, 03:47 PM
Al_Capone_Junior Al_Capone_Junior is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

I guess my favorite of all times is still the guy in AC who bought into 2-4 with only eight chips... two $1000 chips and six $100 chips, $2600 total. He had a thick Russian accent, and didn't know diddly about how to play hold'em. But he knew how to say, and I quote...

"how do you say? Rrrrrrraise! (don't forget to roll your R's now). Drove all the dealers, and most of the players, absolutely crazy.

So he said it, and did in fact raise every single hand, for about eight straight hours.

He didn't really care what he had, hell, half the time he didn't even bother looking. But he continued raising. And he'd raise to the end, no matter what, no matter what he had, whether he'd looked or not, whatever.

He totally hammered me on one hand. He didn't look, So when I flopped top pair, Queen kicker, I figured I'd be good. So I capped it with him to the river. But on the river he had QUAD FIVES. Tho my ASS was kinda SORE, I couldn't help but laugh.

One of the best times I've ever had playing poker. I won about $580 (most big bets I have ever won to this day playing limit), my buddy won about $400 something, and everyone else at the table did pretty darn goot as well. Funny as chit.

[edited several times because I was drinking like my seventh beer while writing it]

al
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  #4  
Old 12-07-2005, 04:54 PM
beavens beavens is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

not much of a story, but i was playing 1/2 NL at the mirage for about 14 hours straight drinking the entire time. ended up down about 150 for the session but i had a great time doing it - the table was very fun.

well when i finally got up from the table at 11am or so i was pretty hammered. this being only my 3rd time in a casino, i had no f'ing clue where i was going. i stumbled around trying to find the exit, and i finally found one. no clue where it put me out, but i was walking around outside, midmorning, quite drunk and i ended up at the casino employee entrance. i surveyed the area and throught this couldn't be right. so i went back to another door and entered. it was treasure island's hotel, apparently, so i walk down to the casino floor and plop into a Gameking machine. play some video blackjack and i think i make $10 or so. somehow i managed to find my way out of TI, and walked allllll the way back to the hotel at the Riviera.

friends were sleeping as i busted into the room making a shitload of noise when the door hit the wall - they shot up like someone fired a gun in the room. i go on for 10 minutes straight about my night/morning and they said i passed out on the floor midsentence.

ahhhhhh vegas =)
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  #5  
Old 12-07-2005, 05:01 PM
Al_Capone_Junior Al_Capone_Junior is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

Vegas rocks, my friend. You don't have to remember it all to figure that out. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

al
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  #6  
Old 12-07-2005, 05:25 PM
Riverman Riverman is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

beavens, this reminds me of a bellagio experience I had.

Me and a buddy return from the strip club at about 2 AM and enter a 15-30 game that includes a local nit to my right. He immediately starts in on us for being drunk and slowing the game down. Now we were definitely being slow, but we were also capping/raising over half the hands- any suited, connected, paired, or remotely attractive cards for either one of us resulted in a raise, with us often getting pots capped preflop. Of course this idiot says were "ruining the game" blah blah blah I mean how hard can it be to realize this is a golden opportunity to make a big score and be nice to us. The nit is a dead ringer for Nikita Kruschev (sp?) so I call him Nikita and give him [censored] about being a nit and he gets mad back and says something about blowing my inheritance because "this isn't 4-8" and some other crap.

Anyway, he raises one hand and I coldcall with 9 7 and make a straight on the turn. He goes 4 bets with me on the turn and 2 on the river with his AA, and just totally loses it. I tip the dealer a bunch of reds and laugh my ass off as do most of the other players. He leaves, calling me names, and I scream at him to "ENJOY YOUR BUTTSEX, SIR." Probably uncalled for, but it sure was funny at the time.

Another thing that happened- on one hand I raised preflop and bet every street and some guy called me down with J high to win the pot. I playfully asked how he could call with jack high and he smiled and said, "I'm rich!" Didn't have a comeback for that one.
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  #7  
Old 12-07-2005, 06:17 PM
beavens beavens is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[ QUOTE ]
Another thing that happened- on one hand I raised preflop and bet every street and some guy called me down with J high to win the pot. I playfully asked how he could call with jack high and he smiled and said, "I'm rich!" Didn't have a comeback for that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol - i would say "nh" to that one-liner.
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  #8  
Old 12-07-2005, 06:36 PM
zuluking zuluking is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

Kinda long, but hope you like it...

I always have one drunken Blackjack/Craps night when I go to Vegas for a week. My friend and I picked Casino Royale on a this particular trip for the drinking fest. What a dump.

We started playing $5 BJ and drinking heavily at 8pm. By the time we left the sun was high in the sky, it was 10am the next morning. We stumbled back to the room and both passed out for 10 hours. I awoke to find my pockets stuffed full of C-notes, $2,300 in all. My friend had about $1,600. We had both left the room with $500 in cash, the rest locked away in the room safe the night before.

We made our way back to Casino Royale and were instantly treated like fcuking millionaires. Dealers were beckoning us to their tables, waitresses were 3-deep trying to get us a drink. The floor even came over and asked if he could get us ANYTHING!

I'm like, WTF is going on here? Come to find out that we won a $HITPOT of money playing drunken Blackjack the night/early morning before. I'm talking 3-4 grand each. We were betting $100 a hand after about 3am and don't even remember. We tipped away at least a thousand each to the dealers, floor, and waitresses.

I don't remember a bit of it nor do I regret it. Vegas baby, Vegas. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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  #9  
Old 12-07-2005, 06:40 PM
flapjack flapjack is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

Last weekend I stayed at the MGM. On Friday night I went to KA with a friend of mine and his wife. After that we went to the blackjack tables and proceeded to get drunk. My buddy called it a night around 2:30 or 3:00. I went to the poker room to play some nice drunk low limit. I get seated in a typical 4/8 game with a half kill. I can barely walk straight but I figure I can still play with these people. I decide I will gamble it up early on to create a “wild gambling” image.

The floor man brings me a rack of blue and I tell say, “I loose way more than that, bring me three more racks.” The table takes notice as I stack my chips up.

I fold my first hand, I am drunk but I have some standards, only to see about 6 people limp after me. As the dealer is pulling in the chips I say, “Wow this looks like a big pot, I call.” I put four chips over the line. The dealer chuckles and pushes them back to me. I say, “No really, I call. I’ll play the board.” The dealer takes my chips and I hear “wow, never seen that before.” I didn’t win the pot, or even a share of it, but now everyone knows I am drunk and looking to gamble.

I spend the next couple of hours talking non stop. I wish I could remember the stuff I was saying because I had the whole table laughing. One time I raised and I got called by the next two players on my left. Both happened to be cops, one from DC and one from somewhere that I forgot. As the second one calls I say, “Oh no, here comes the Po Po.” They both fold when I bet the turn and I say, “Parole granted.” It was funny at the time. I also remember making fun of a guy who said, “Yikes-a-hootie” when he got raised. I got paper and pens from the floor and we had a contest to see how to spell Yikes-a-hootie. I spelled it yikesahooty. I was secretly glad I couldn’t spell it.

Another time I raised AK and got about 12 callers. I bet the flop for some reason that I can’t remember now, there was no Ace or King. On the turn I pick up a gut shot broadway. I say, “Dealer I need some serious help. You get half the pot if you bring me a winner.” River King. Checked around and my hand is good. I wish I had a picture of the other player’s faces when I pushed the dealer half the pot.

All this is leading up to one hand. I almost left but a girl at the table convinced me to stay. At this point I am down $120 or so. I remember thinking I’ve had so much fun I just wish I was up. The hand is dealt. Girl who talked me into staying opens with a raise. Guy two to my right makes it three bets. Before looking at my cards I make sniffing sounds and say,”Do you all smell that? (short pause) Smells like a big pot.” I check my cards, QJ of spades; a perfect suck out hand! I call, several other people call.

At this point I should mention that this was a kill pot. Flop comes QJ9, two clubs. Not a bad flop for my hand. When it gets to me I make it three bets and it comes back to me capped. It was capped by the girl who raised in first position. I figure I am behind and hope I am not drawing dead. Turn comes, board is now QJ9J. Sweet. I like my chances more now when she does not cap the turn. Turn gets capped four ways. This time it was the button who capped the turn.

I puss out on the river and just over call the buttons bet. He bet and two other people called before me. The hands were me: QJ, button: J9 (and I thought my preflop call was bad), Girl UTG: 99, Guy who hates money and paid off all the way: KK.

As the dealer is pushing me this gigantic pot, you could have heard a pin drop. Everyone is just staring mouth wide open at all that money going to me. I tip the dealer, then I tip everyone at the table either one or five dollars. I can’t remember how much it was. It takes me about the next four hands to stack all these chips. I color up and get a stack of green to go with my blues and assorted reds.

I had so much fun and finished up for the night. It’s sad that drunken 4/8 was my biggest win of the trip. I am going to have to try it more often.
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  #10  
Old 12-07-2005, 07:01 PM
beavens beavens is offline
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Default Re: Post your best hammered casino poker story here

these are some very entertaining stories, guys - keep em coming
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