Stepping down and admitting defeat

[GoblinMason (Craig)]

Maybe this should go in BBV, but I think it may have some content so I'm posting it here. Besides, I'm actually optimistic for the future, notice the icon I chose. (Mods if it should, feel free to move and my apologies.)

After taking the worst downswing I've yet to experience (about 12k+ of my used to be 35k+ roll), It's tought me some lessons that I should've already known. I know that I've posted on many occasions that you should expect to run worse than you ever have, but I've never felt how true it is until now.

I've taken bad swings many times and have always battled back. I've also had the thought "what if I don't run good again after losing 200BBs, that would really suck." Well it can happen, and it does.


Now, I've always been of the opinion that if you take a really really bad swing you probably aren't playing that great. This may be the case for me, but I can tell you one thing: I wasn't playing any worse in the last 6-7k hands than I was the 10s of thousands before them. I think the strongest part of my game is keeping level-headed and not tilting. The part I constantly doubt is my strategy. I wasn't a proven winner in the games I was playing (mostly 20/40) for more than 20k hands, but they didn't seem all that much tougher than the 10/20 which I know I beat for a long time. It really could be that I'm not a winner in those games and the long run has caught up to me. Anyway, analyzing why I had this downswing isn't the point of this thread.

The point is, I can't take swings like this. At least, not yet. I've started to doubt that I'm a winner in some of these games, and they are not the place to be doubting yourself. I think one thing that really frustrates me about poker, is when I doubt that I'm a winner. One thing that I would love, is if I KNEW I was crushing or at least beating a game. Since I need a break from these swings and the doubt, I'm stepping down. I absolutely know that I can beat any 3/6 or 5/10 game online and still make a good hourly after bonus and rakeback. So that's what I'm going to do. The swings there will seem like pebbles in the road after what I've ran into at 20/40.

It actually is a great feeling to know what I'm looking forward to in the comming months from poker. I'm going to have to put in a ton of hands to get the earn I want, but I know that I won't post another -10k month anytime soon.

I know, my epeen is way smaller now that I get to post in SSSH instead of MHSH, but bring on the 200BB downswings, I will battle back in one night! So lookout you 3/6 grinding tags, I'm gonna pwn your weak tight asses, and if you try to steal my BB, I'm gonna cut you.

So, I guess the lesson is, I don't feel bad about admitting I can't handle the swings at the moment and it might be a nice break if poker is sticking it to you as well.

Thanks for reading.

-Craig