Funniest Moment, but you can not laugh.

[crunchy1]

LOL... agreed!

You're an ASS!! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[coffeecrazy1]

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Friend driving to show us this tree that he can't believe more people don't hit because it's so easy to hit. So we go to the spot and he skids out and runs smack dab in to the tree. Basically totaled his car. He was sitting there in disbelief/shock and everyone in the car was doing their best to hold back the laugh.

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This one is the funniest I've read. There would be no holding it in for me...as soon as I figured out we were all okay, I would have been rolling around on the ground laughing.

[elwoodblues]

Very funny, but one that I would have NO hesitation laughing about.

[Grisgra]

Wedding of my college advisor. Her new hubby was a Buddhist, and while relatively sane, her hubby's brother was completely nutso. The wedding had a different format and before vows were taken a bunch of people got up and spoke for 5-15 minutes about marriage, the new couple, etc.

Anyway, one of the speakers was the new hubby's brother, a practictioner of the Batshit Sect. I wish I could remember the whole spiel, but I can't. I DO remember that there were flying monkeys of blessings or somesuch -- seriously, flying monkeys. Nine of them, I think, and I'm pretty sure they were holy in some way. He goes on and on and on about the monkeys and all of this other stuff and I almost lost it. It would have been a political disaster for me of major proportions if I had broken out in uncontrolled laughter during her wedding, so I held it in, but god it was tough. My gf was there as well and she had just as much difficulty not losing it. I think there were a couple times I bent forward, sides aching, gagging back the laughs . . . I pretended to just look at my shoes.

Afterwards I made a couple of inquries of others as to what they thought of the talk -- specifically, this guys' talk. They said it was very interesting, and appreciated being able to hear people with different belief systems speak.

Right.

[asofel]

the "Batshit" Sect?

[Grisgra]

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the "Batshit" Sect?

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Apparently so.

[man]

one of my friends' mothers was murdered when he was young, ten or so. unfortunately mom jokes were pretty popular in my crowd, but we usually stayed away from dude. but once I slipped and said I had sex with his mom or something. immediately I realize what an idiot I was and apologize. he says "no, it's all right. all you'd need is a shovel."

burned.

[chesspain]

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A girl I had dated for awhile in high school was in one of my classes in University. We'd stayed friends after we'd broken up, but the break-up was because she thought that I was "too much of a jerk". I hadn't done much to dispell the notion in the two years since we'd stopped going out.

Shortly before the Christmas break, she mentioned to me that she'd gotten a 120 lbs Rotweiler from the animal shelter. I made some crack about these kinds of dogs being given up to the animal shelter because their owners find them too vicious and that she'd end up with her throat being torn out. I also mentioned a story about a friend of mine who had gotten attacked by a dog he'd adopted, and that the dog hadn't seemed aggressive at all until the day it attacked him. She got kind of bitchy at this point and started telling me how her dog is a "sweetheart" and wouldn't hurt a fly, etc... "Famous last words" was my reply to her and she got even more bitchy and insisted that I didn't know what I was talking about.

A couple of days later she called me up for some reason and I could hear the dog going apeshit in the background. It sounded like it was in the process of killing her family. I asked her why it was barking and growling so much and she told me it was because it could see the neighbour in his backyard. I again repeated my statement that it was only a matter of time before the dog snapped and attacked her. She again argued with me and defended her dog, called me a jerk, and hung up on me.

Fast forward about a month and we're back in school. I see her in class and I ask her how her holidays were. She tells me they were "depressing".

"Why," I replied, "did your dog finally try to kill you?"

At this point she holds up her hand, and it is covered in scars.

"Yeah, I took the dog out for a walk and he saw another dog and tried to go after it. I was pulling on the leash and it wanted to get away so it turned around and bit my hand really hard. I had to go to emergency and get stitches."

I really really didn't want to laugh, but I remembered how bitchy she got with me, and how she kept insisting that I didn't know what I was talking about...and I started laughing. When she told me that her dog had to put down after it attacked her, I tried to stop laughing, but by then it was too late...I was laughing so hard I was crying.

Just then another girl that we knew went to sit down with us and asked why I was laughing so hard.

"He's laughing because I had to put my dog to sleep."

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My thirteen year old daughter and I both think that this is the best post of the thread. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

My poker-playing friend J was coming into town, and he called to let me know. We also used to play putt-putt for dollars, so I was looking forward to a weekend of gambling. I said "okay, let's hit Putt-Putt and Sandia Casino after so I can take your money." He said "no, I don't gamble any more." I said "what, did you turn into a f#@$ing mormon?"

"Yes."

*sniff...sniff...trying to hold back the laughter* "Okay. We'll go to the movies I guess."

ScottieK