Dating someone bi-polar

[Autocratic]

I had a good friend who was bi-polar. It ruined our friendship. I actually never really asked her about it, so I don't know the type or anything, but over time she began to think I had plotted to end a friendship of hers and said she never wanted to talk to me again. I haven't really talked to her in two years (we had been pretty close for 3 years before that).

My brother's girlfriend is bipolar.

It's a pain in the neck but with some patience, you can deal.

Make sure they take their meds and life is so much easier.

Of course, my brother's girlfriend's meds make children a non viable option if that is something that matters to you.

[noggindoc]

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Make sure they take their meds and life is so much easier.


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This is quite true. Of course this whole thing is going to depend on the severity of the bipolar disorder (is it Bipolar I or Bipolar II, etc.). If it is Bipolar I and is severe, there will be serious challenges within the relationship. It can happen though, everyone needs love!

[TomCollins]

It's still real early, so I figure it would be best to know what I'd be dealing with before anything significant happened. I suspected something was up when she said something like "I'd have to have an abortion because of the medicine I'm on". I'm pretty patient, so if it's just that, I'm not concerned. She's got a few other issues I learned about, but she's getting help and taking medicine. She did suggest she plans on having kids and all, I don't know if that means going off the medicine for a while or what.

I'm pretty ignorant, and my only knowledge of it is an ex-gf I had who's dad had it and later killed himself. I think she might have had it as well, but that didn't last too long for other reasons. She's a pretty cool chick, just wanted to know what the hell I'm getting into ahead of time.

[rocketlaunch]

I dated a chick who was bipolar. All I can say is that if this girl is 1/10th as much of a lunatic as the girl I dated, you should run, far, faaaarrr away.

Things started out normal enough, but then she began getting super-paranoid and very accusatory. Her mood swings were unbelievable--one day she'd be all happy and outgoing, and the next she'd be depressed and miserable. In each case, it was to such an extreme that she practically had a completely different personality. Things that she liked in one mood she would absolutely hate in the other, and it was up to me to always figure out which person I was dealing with on a daily basis, lest I piss her off to no end.

It all seems tame when I describe now, but really it was pure insanity. The suicide threats and threats of violence one day, and then the person who couldn't so much as hurt a fly the next day. All with constant lies and denials and selfishness.

There were days when she was a normal person, and those days her "true" nature shined through (a very good person, I think), but much of the time it was nothing short of insanity. She had definitely learned to act "normal" in front of most people, but once you knew her well and she had to be around you more than on a passing basis, there was no hiding it.

At the very least, I'd recommend that your girl staying on medication be a prerequisite to your guys' continued dating. The few bipolar people I've known and the one girl I dated (and from what I hear, bipolar people in general) have a tendency to go on meds, feel somewhat better and then go off them thinking they don't need them any more. Dealing with a seriously bipolar person not on meds is like dealing with a pitbull with its nuts in a tourniquet--all you can do is stay out of the way and hope you don't get hurt.

[JackThree]

i am bipolar, but i was just recently diagnosed, previous to medication, i was nuts. constant stress on my girlfriend, we finally broke up because of it

[ QUOTE ]
I dated a chick who was bipolar. All I can say is that if this girl is 1/10th as much of a lunatic as the girl I dated, you should run, far, faaaarrr away.

Things started out normal enough, but then she began getting super-paranoid and very accusatory. Her mood swings were unbelievable--one day she'd be all happy and outgoing, and the next she'd be depressed and miserable. In each case, it was to such an extreme that she practically had a completely different personality. Things that she liked in one mood she would absolutely hate in the other, and it was up to me to always figure out which person I was dealing with on a daily basis, lest I piss her off to no end.

It all seems tame when I describe now, but really it was pure insanity. The suicide threats and threats of violence one day, and then the person who couldn't so much as hurt a fly the next day. All with constant lies and denials and selfishness.

There were days when she was a normal person, and those days her "true" nature shined through (a very good person, I think), but much of the time it was nothing short of insanity. She had definitely learned to act "normal" in front of most people, but once you knew her well and she had to be around you more than on a passing basis, there was no hiding it.

At the very least, I'd recommend that your girl staying on medication be a prerequisite to your guys' continued dating. The few bipolar people I've known and the one girl I dated (and from what I hear, bipolar people in general) have a tendency to go on meds, feel somewhat better and then go off them thinking they don't need them any more. Dealing with a seriously bipolar person not on meds is like dealing with a pitbull with its nuts in a tourniquet--all you can do is stay out of the way and hope you don't get hurt.

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Almost exactly what I endured for two years. She accused me of cheating on her with every woman I knew (including the mother of one of my chess students.) Of course, she could hang out with any guy she wanted. She would switch moods on a dime - all happy and lovey-dovey, then BAM I'm stupid she's stupid the whole world is stupid I think I'll kill myself. Constant guilt trips. Sometimes I got scared because something would set her off and she'd start hitting herself on the head. Of course, she also had relationship issues...can't imagine why.

The hard part was she could shape up just enough to keep me interested...promises of change and whatever. Never happened - actually it got worse. Eventually I realized it was only worth it so I can appreciate sane girls.

EDIT:Just saw the raising kids part. I dated another girl who was clinically depressed, and one day we were talking about the woman who drowned her kids in the tub. She told me that she could see herself doing that. Scared the S@#$ out of me. Too bad, she's a pretty and otherwise fun girl...although we'd have to break plans a lot because she was having an episode.

ScottieK

[JackThree]

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She would switch moods on a dime - all happy and lovey-dovey, then BAM I'm stupid she's stupid the whole world is stupid I think I'll kill myself.

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those were the days....

[rocketlaunch]

[ QUOTE ]

Almost exactly what I endured for two years. She accused me of cheating on her with every woman I knew (including the mother of one of my chess students.) Of course, she could hang out with any guy she wanted. She would switch moods on a dime - all happy and lovey-dovey, then BAM I'm stupid she's stupid the whole world is stupid I think I'll kill myself. Constant guilt trips. Sometimes I got scared because something would set her off and she'd start hitting herself on the head. Of course, she also had relationship issues...can't imagine why.

The hard part was she could shape up just enough to keep me interested...promises of change and whatever. Never happened - actually it got worse. Eventually I realized it was only worth it so I can appreciate sane girls.

EDIT:Just saw the raising kids part. I dated another girl who was clinically depressed, and one day we were talking about the woman who drowned her kids in the tub. She told me that she could see herself doing that. Scared the S@#$ out of me. Too bad, she's a pretty and otherwise fun girl...although we'd have to break plans a lot because she was having an episode.

ScottieK

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Ding ding ding. I was talking to a female friend of mine at a party once and my bipolar gf came over and started yelling making a huge scene saying I was about to go cheat on her with that girl--nevermind the fact that my gf was obviously right there and my friend's bf was right there, too. Everyone there stopped whatever they were doing and just stared at the four of us (the bf of course came over interested to know who this guy who was supposedly going to hook up with his gf was). That was a lovely scene, and only one of about a million just crazy episodes in a real f'ed up relationship--I could literally give a dozen more, but I really don't even like remembering all of them.

Of course I'd want to leave her but then it was, "oh I"m sorry, I screwed up, I won't do it again, I'm trying, please don't leave wah wah" and of course she was hot enough and absolutely dynamite in bed, so I was the sucker who kept going back for more.

I'm still getting over the emotional damage from that relationship, and it's nearly three years later.

Not to discourage you or anything, OP, but you deserve to know the truth.

[TomCollins]

That's why I ask. I have no idea what I might be getting into.