i'm self-destructive

hey everyone,
i post on this forum fairly frequently, but i changed my username for purposes of this post. i'm 20 yrs old, a junior in college, and i've been playing poker for two years. started playing small stakes, had an amazing summer and built up a br of about 50k. for the past month, i've been up and down, then last night (and this morning) i had the worst session of my life.. i lost 20k at 30-60... a bit of bad luck and a lot of tilt... i've had a tilt problem before, but never anything like this. i'm sick w/ myself and my behavior. i always build bankrolls playing solid poker and destroy them playing like a moron. and i think it comes from the fact that i have an extremely self-destructive personality. as a child, i would tear up my basketball card collections and start anew, i would throw away the money i had (literally) if i was upset, i would throw everything in my room on the ground, etc. in high school i occasionally cut myself, and now the tendencies have turned to poker. if things aren't going my way, i exacerbate the problem and am almost transformed into a different person. last night i cold-called 3 raises w/ 49s. i knew it was the bad play, i even told myself why, and i still did it. if i'm having a bad session, i'll often play until what is in my account is gone (i usually do not keep more than 5k or 10k in any accts). i'm pretty sure i have a problem. who wants to validate it for me?