My typical day

LOL, i just reread the thread and noticed only one person wasn't living in 1950 still. Children that are put in daycare between the ages of 3 and 5 develop better reading skills, speech skills, social skills, and are more ready to adapt to changing social environments. There are always crack house day cares, and there are always daycares that do fabulous things for children. The fact that a child is alowed to interact with other children on a daily basis in an academic environment is very positive. You can't reproduce this environment through networking with other parents. Anyone with kids who have them as their "top priority" should consider a good day care if it is affordable. I have two kids and have a good network of parents. We all put our kids in daycare, even though most of us don't need to.

[Freudian]

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I'll say it again. 4 or 5 hours a week of interaction with other kids away form home is GREAT. NECESSARY. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I never said it wasn't. All daycare is not bad. Read that again. I agree with you there.

But that's not what happens. They're there ALL DAY. EVERY DAY. 40 hours a week. Sometimes more. And it's not so they learn social skills and build their immune system. Those are rationalizations.

They are there so their parents can work more and afford
better cars and a nicer house.

Yes there are single parents, etc. that have no choice. Families with 2 young healthy educated parents can live on 1 income if they choose to. That's who I'm talking about.

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Women in the workplace. Who came up with that crazy idea?
Not like the good old days. Those selfish evil women should know their place.

[ScottTheFish]

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Women in the workplace. Who came up with that crazy idea?
Not like the good old days. Those selfish evil women should know their place.

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Nice sarcasm. Did you even read my post? Where did I say women shouldn't work? My wife works while my son is at school.

And yes I do think choosing money over time with your baby is selfish. And yes I think 40 hours a week with the mom and 10 hours in daycare is better than the other way around, but hey, I'm just old fashioned like that.

[Freudian]

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Women in the workplace. Who came up with that crazy idea?
Not like the good old days. Those selfish evil women should know their place.

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Nice sarcasm. Did you even read my post? Where did I say women shouldn't work? My wife works while my son is at school.

And yes I do think choosing money over time with your baby is selfish. And yes I think 40 hours a week with the mom and 4 or 5 hours in daycare is better than the other way around, but hey, I'm just old fashioned like that.

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And what if the money the mother earns is the difference between a university education or not for the child when he get older. Is her actions still selfish? What about if it makes the difference between great and poor healthcare for the child? Is it still selfish?

You don't have to point out that you are old fashioned. Your Eisenhower era views were obvious from the first post you made in this thread.

[Kablooie]

Yeah, i love the way men are so happy to work three jobs to keep the kids out of daycare - but actually stay at home with the kid themselves? Nah, that's Mum's job. If they had had the wonderful experience of taking care of toddlers full time, they'd probably appreciate the equal importance of a few hours peace and quiet whilst somebody else takes care of the little brats.

[ScottTheFish]

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And what if the money the mother earns is the difference between a university education or not for the child when he get older. Is her actions still selfish? What about if it makes the difference between great and poor healthcare for the child? Is it still selfish?


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Well, there are plenty of ways to play for college when the time comes. Loans, grants, financial aid, or even working and paying for their own college like I did.

The health care or other financial hardship is a fair point. I already said some people don't have a choice, mom has to work. So how about this novel idea: Mom works at night while dad is home, or vice versa. I just blew your mind, right?

Sure the parents don't see each other as much, but they're not babies who need constant attention and teaching. They'll be fine.

Surely you'd agree that's preferable to having the kid spend 8 hours a day in day care.

[Freudian]

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And what if the money the mother earns is the difference between a university education or not for the child when he get older. Is her actions still selfish? What about if it makes the difference between great and poor healthcare for the child? Is it still selfish?


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Well, there are plenty of ways to play for college when the time comes. Loans, grants, financial aid, or even working and paying for their own college like I did.

The health care or other financial hardship is a fair point. I already said some people don't have a choice, mom has to work. So how about this novel idea: Mom works at night while dad is home, or vice versa. I just blew your mind, right?

Sure the parents don't see each other as much, but they're not babies who need constant attention and teaching. They'll be fine.

Surely you'd agree that's preferable to having the kid spend 8 hours a day in day care.

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Since I think day care is healthy for a child, of course it isn't preferable. Their current situation seems normal and healthy to me. Of course I don't try to bash others on the head with the bizarre idea that day care makes someone a bad mother.

But feel free to continue to offer advice on how people you never met should structure their lives. What does it matter if the parents never meet, as long as the mother is hovering over her baby 24 hours a day. Because hey, that is the most important thing.

[Dennisa]

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My background: last worked in 2002 as a programmer. left to take care of new baby. Start playing poker April, 2004.

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Why do you take your kid to daycare???? Why not play poker around the times your kid sleeps and be full time mom. This gives you an advantage of not paying day care and being a better parent. You should easily get in those 4-6 hours of poker later at night and during nap times.

[ScottTheFish]

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Since I think day care is healthy for a child, of course it isn't preferable. Their current situation seems normal and healthy to me. Of course I don't try to bash others on the head with the bizarre idea that day care makes someone a bad mother.

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Wow. Time in daycare is better than time with a parent, even with money issues aside? Good Lord.

Are you really telling me 40 hours a week in daycare and 10 with the mother is better than the other way around? And I'm the one with bizarre ideas?

You're really not too bright are you? Did you read this earlier?

I'll say it again. 4 or 5 hours a week of interaction with other kids away form home is GREAT. NECESSARY. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. I never said it wasn't. All daycare is not bad.

Was that somehow unclear?

I've said several times in several different ways daycare does not make someone a bad parent. I spelled out specific circumstances under which I consider it bad parenting.

I assume your kid will go to boarding school from birth through college. With so much rearing by strangers and so little time the parents, it will be the healthiest kid in history.

In your case I would buy it. Better yet just don't breed.

[Kablooie]

I think you're the one that's being persistantly a little bit on the dim side here. Previous posters are quite right in pointing out that daycare is helpful in socialising kids, and giving their immune systems a workout. Humans have never formed social groups that consisted of 1 parent alone with their children before the twentieth century, there is a huge amount of social and anthropological history that documents this. 40 hours of daycare is worse than 40 hours with a parent? Parent is ill/alcoholic/depressed/abusive - daycare is worse? Dream on.

I don't know what it is about some americans these days, they just have to tell everybody else how to live their lives in a complex and varied world, and there is no deviation allowed from their one true way. The last bunch to try this approach were the communists - it didn't end well for them i hear.

It's tough being a parent, there's no excuse for making it worse for people by laying down guilt trips on how much day care they use.