Post deleted by Cola

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I recommend a home AIDS test. Your roommate can help you. Goes like this:

YOU: Bill, do you know anyone with AIDS?
ROOMIE: Nope.
YOU: Thanks.

NT

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Much funnier when Mitch Hedberg said it.

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What do you want me to do, an internet Hedberg impression? How will I play that? Christ. I hope you get AIDS.

NT

[wacki]

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I don't see any way possible you could do it for several minutes your first time without busting.

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I did bust at all the first time I had sex. Went for hours too.

I was drunk as [censored] though.

[Deftoner]

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I recommend a home AIDS test. Your roommate can help you. Goes like this:

YOU: Bill, do you know anyone with AIDS?
ROOMIE: Nope.
YOU: Thanks.

NT

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Much funnier when Mitch Hedberg said it.

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Isn't everything?

[HopeydaFish]

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Basically, she was a slut and the condom came off while I was in her. I am pretty freaking worried right now.


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You should be. You definitely have AIDS now. You're going to die.

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I don't really know what the likelyhood of me catching anything is but she was pretty freaking slutty and something like 40% of people have STD's, so I am pretty freaking worried.

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You've been misinformed. 100% of people have STD's. Actually, it's more like 150%, because some people have more than one STD.

You know that itching feeling you have right now? That's the STD taking hold. It'll only get worse from here.

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I feel dirty.

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You should. You're swimming with disease.

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So basically, whats my percentage that I have something right now? I was probably in her condomless for at least several minutes. OOT, I need input here.

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Condoms are a scam perpetuated by the latex industry. They are completely useless at preventing disease. Actually, I read somewhere recently that wearing a condom will give you even worse AIDS than you'd get without one. Since you had sex with *both* a condom and then without one, you'll probably end up with super AIDS.

Hope the few seconds of empty pleasure was worth it.

[Perseus]

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I don't see any way possible you could do it for several minutes your first time without busting.

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First time I had sex I was wasted and lasted 20 minutes.

Second time I was sober and I think it was like three thrusts

[pearljam]

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I don't see any way possible you could do it for several minutes your first time without busting.

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I can, I was extremely nervous my time and it took a little wile but I did get there. I still get nervous when I do it because im often to worried about how it is for the girl and cant enjoy it as much. I am pretty inexperienced though so I imagine this will pass.

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How long did all this take? If you banged a chick for over 30 minutes your first time, that's a positive.

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Total penis in vagina time probably around 10-15 minutes. She gave me head for a while first and that was like 10 minutes too. I'm thinking I was just nervous or something or just conpletely not attracted to her. She was kind of fat.

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So after this 10-15 minutes, you just get up and leave?

[touchfaith]

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How long did all this take? If you banged a chick for over 30 minutes your first time, that's a positive.

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Total penis in vagina time probably around 10-15 minutes. She gave me head for a while first and that was like 10 minutes too. I'm thinking I was just nervous or something or just conpletely not attracted to her. She was kind of fat.

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Have you even been in a turkish prison?

[David04]

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I recommend a home AIDS test. Your roommate can help you. Goes like this:

YOU: Bill, do you know anyone with AIDS?
ROOMIE: Nope.
YOU: Thanks.

NT

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Much funnier when Mitch Hedberg said it.

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What do you want me to do, an internet Hedberg impression? How will I play that? Christ. I hope you get AIDS.

NT

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Thanks man.

FWIW, that was not intended as an insult...I just liked it better coming from Mitch Hedberg.