Teen having mid-life crisis.

[A_Junglen]

Well, I've been meaning to post this for awhile, but finally got around to it. Please note the time...it's 6am. Today I woke up at 5pm....

Anyways, I've noticed that I no longer feel motivated to do...well anything. Let me give you my background. I'm a senior in HS, have already earned a computer network certification (equivalent of a 2 yr associates degree). I could probably get a job right now in the technical field. I currently 6 table the 20-2's and am doing very well. I also play a few mtt's a week and recently made 2k in one night. Basically...after winning, I noticed that I honestly don't care that much. I'm getting a $1,300 check next week, and instead of having fun with it (like almost anyone else my age) I'm doing my lil accounting spiel. Everynight for the past month that I've played online I'm up at least $100, which is signficant money for most people my age. All this money is desensitizing me it seems like.

I've played poker since I was 16, and from it have lived a "lucrative teenage lifestyle", buying a laptop, PC, iPod, razr cell phone, expensive headphones, and in a month I plan on buying a convertible (hopefully).

Through all of this however I've noticed that I don't care about my future at all. It may sound cocky, but I think it's more confidence, but I'm pretty sure that no matter what I pursue I'll succeed at. Not too many people at my age have a computer certification. I've always been very competitve and generally see that what I want, I almost always get....but how come lately I have no desire to achieve anything. Who cares about the future...I'll get an amazing job, and make more money than God. But honestly, money isn't everything. It certainly cannot buy happiness.

My sleep/eating habits have also become very warped. I eat maybe a meal everyday (very little). I'm always hungry, but when I eat I feel sick and stop...still hungry when I stop..it's very weird.My sleep schedule is 12hours off from the average american. I'm waking up when the 9-5er's are gettin home.

I also recently had my right leg amputated (below knee) which I'm sure can't help my frame of mind. Actually, I was taken out of school during the last part of my Jr. year because I was "suicidally depressed"...I dunno, on paper it seems like my life should be extremely happy, but I'm honestly very unfulfilled. Is this all there is? Making money, eating nice food every night, and staying out late?.....please tell me there's more.

I'm sorry in advance for the rambling, but this seems pretty bad. Lacking desire to achieve in the future can pretty much say lacking the desire to live. Which certainly isn't +EV. My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.

You sound like you're depressed. While I'm not sure exactly the path out of depression, I know that making money is not it. The richest person in the world can be miserable, so don't be surprised that having lots of money (for someone your age) isn't buying you happiness.

Perhaps you need... some meaning in your life? Good friends? A girlfriend? I can't say for sure, but something besides poker and computers and buying stuff.

A depressed, unmotivated teen?

What is the world coming to????

That is saracsm, btw.

Here is my advice - and keep in mind that this advice is coming from someone with a Masters Degree and a professional vocation.

Two separate pieces:

1) Don't worry too much about it. Parents, teachers and high school guidance counsellors use this massive scare tactic that if you don't follow the right path now, you will damn yourself to poverty and a wasted existence. That is total BS. You should DEFINITELY finish high school, but from there, the world is wide open to you. Find something you WANT to do - something that interests you - and do it. If you don't know what that is, then find a way to keep yourself occupied until you do. You WILL find something.

2) Rather than focusing on WHAT you want to do, focus on HOW YOU FEEL. Are you depressed? Are you sad and bored? Boredom, for example, is a fantastic emotion. It is you telling yourelf that it is time to do something new. If you are having these negative feelings, then find something you like to do - exercise, play basketball, just do something. I am not suggesting that you turn your life over to a hedonistic pursuit of pleasure - but at the same time, you should focus on your current state and let the future take care of itself. If you feel depressed a lot, then get some counselling or therapy - just try and keep yourself moving towards a happier place.

If poker is what you enjoy doing, then do it - but balance your poker playing with other activities - preferably active ones.

My suspicion is that you are really not interested in getting a job in the computer field - that is a GREAT sign -now you just need to find the thing that gets you excited - and once you do, things will start to make more sense.

There is a tendency to think that your teen years will shape your entire life - they won't. Trust me when I say that you have a long time to spare before you start to get serious about your life.

[intheflatfield]

Having only read the title of your post (as opposed the actual post or reply's)

Quit Poker

Do your Homework

I don't think this is really related to poker. Take your parents advice and see a counselor or something. I mean what do you have to lose. You could also try to find something you enjoy doing and just have fun.

[Bez]

Manic depression.

[Georgia Avenue]

I know I'll sound like your grandma, but you should really consider college, especially if that's something your parents will pay for without too much trouble. College is more than just a holding tank for late teenagers, or Keg Stand Academy. My four (ok seven) years of school were an amazing time, socially and intellectually. Many people forget or disbelieve in the possibility of higher education really changing someone's outlook, but it happens. Go to a good small liberal arts college where you'll have the opportunity to talk to your professors and the other students. Try as many disciplines as you can...science, social science, philosophy, literature. Most importantly, you’ll be able to put the future on hold and just have fun meeting people. Maybe you’ll even find some SSHE to crush! I agree with what another poster said, it sounds like it’s more than poker that’s making you miserable, especially if you just lost a leg. That’s a tough break.
Remember: 1. Small liberal arts college (preferably far away from home, but somewhere that isn’t depressing.)
2. Variety of classes
3. Talk to as many people as possible.
4. Crush small stakes hold ‘em.

Good luck.

[jba]

go to college and it's not even close. not even close to being close.

you have no idea what you want to do, you're young, and you're smart. 99% of people your situation are going to either a) go to college have the time of their life get a degree and try to take it from there or b) knock up some broad, get a deadend $17/hr job working the swing shift at some finance company keeping their network up, and living that life of quiet desperation.

poker seriously has nothing to do with this situation. if you can make some decent money while at school that's teriffic.

[TStoneMBD]

seriously consider finding a doctor to prescribe you anti-depressants. you sound like you need them.

[imported_bingobazza]

I get the joke....nh

Bingo