Teen having mid-life crisis.

[A_Junglen]

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hey im in the same spot as you. its just depression. if u talk to a doctor u can get pills for it. i choose not to take pills however its a pretty ruff ride when it kicks in especialy mized with the varience of poker i found that once i found out it was just an imbalance i understood it and now i just know whenever i get like that im just being a fool and i just ignore depressing thoughts

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Hard for me to ignore depressing thoughts when it's a pain in the arse to do anything (ie: walk).

[PairTheBoard]

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A_Junglen --
Hard for me to ignore depressing thoughts when it's a pain in the arse to do anything (ie: walk).

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Try swimming. The exercise will help and it shouldn't bother your leg.



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A_Junglen --
My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.


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If help is available why not get it? Why handicap yourself?

PairTheBoard

[Myst]

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Hard for me to ignore depressing thoughts when it's a pain in the arse to do anything (ie: walk).

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OK, enough of this self-pity BS. Its YOUR LIFE. Take control of it. Everybody have problems, some of them bigger, some of them smaller than your own. The key to dealing with it is all there in your head. You have TOTAL CONTROL, to feel pleasure, to feel pain in whatever you may do.

[tdarko]

what caused the amputation? you do not have to answer this if you do not feel necessary.

[A_Junglen]

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what caused the amputation? you do not have to answer this if you do not feel necessary.

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Amputation was 17th surgery in my life. It was the alternative to having years and years of foot/heel adjustments. So instead of having 34 surgeries when im 34....the number will hopefully be no higher than 20.

I was born with club feet, and my right foot stopped growing after i was about 10. Both of my feet are small, and it's rather embrassing purchasing shoes. I had to have my ankle fused when I was very young, amgonst the flurry of operations. My whole life I've had to deal with criticsm's of other's as far as my "slight limp" and "small feet".

I've also had several operations on my hands. I was born with amniotic banding, therefore causing me to have 7 fingers. Great for throwin a split-finger in baseball, not so great when everybody stares you down. This doesn't bother me NEARLY as much as the leg problems. I can still type 80WPM easily (40wpm only on my hand that was 3 fingers).

I finally started driving again, and I can honestly say driving around seems to make me feel good. Driving on the highway, in the sunlight, windows down, with music playing....really felt greeat to be on the road again.

I think you need a shirt that says "Tis but a scratch" or "It's just a flesh wound." It'll cheer you up.

[Perseus]

Life is what you make of it. My fathers best friend has had problems VERY similar to yours in terms of fused joints in hands (i.e only two fingers on one hand) and he is the happiest person I know. 50 now, and his favorite thing in the world is to go canoeing.

But it doesn't sound like this stuff is bothering you that much compared to feeling depressed.

I was very depressed my senior year of high school/first year of college. I met great people in college and my life turned around completely.

Go to college. You have the rest of your life to work/make money/play poker. If possible, go to a college where you live there, and not live at home or in your hometown (I know this may not be possible).

You'll come out of it

Gl,
Jon

[HentaiGaijin]

Whatever you do, don't let someone talk you into believing a lie, like "taking your problems to Jesus." Find a way to solve this crap yourself and you'll become a much stronger and successful man.

Find good friends to hang out with, who actually give a damn about you. Find a career you'd like to become a part of and figure out the path to get there.

Change yourself. Transform. Become the better man.

Listen to some pounding hardcore music like Hatebreed or Gorilla Biscuits [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

"Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination"

[xniNja]

Alright. Here's my real, gritty, advice. Only to the OP- I don't want to hear any sht from anyone else.

1) The meal a day/feeling sick/etc. is common, at least for me... it goes with the sleeping patterns and lifestyle. You can easily change this over a week if you wanted to routinize your lifestyle.

What I prefer to do? Smoke weed. It's not for everyone, it may not be for you, but with all the pain you've been dealt I wouldn't think twice about blazing for the pain, for your appetite, or to get to sleep. It also relieves muscle tension and arthritis.

2) Life sucks. For EVERYONE. A LOT of the time.

You probably feel like you got shortended in a lot of ways, and you probably did- but you have to understand that most people are depressed. A lot don't act like it, some are genuinely happy at times, but no one is just innately happy with their current situation as it is- it's a chemical brain condition, our perceived happiness becomes the base and we strive for a greater happiness. I don't remember enough biology to explain better than that, but trust me on this.

3) BALL IT UP.
You got some nice toys, but they suck. Music, yea- ok. Laptop & stuff, functional... Convertible now that's something to brag about. If you're depressed the day after you buy a convertible with money won from Poker as you cruise down the block, I will personally come smoke you out 'til you don't remember why you were depressed in the first place.

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Is this all there is? Making money, eating nice food every night, and staying out late?.....please tell me there's more.

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There's not really much more... sex, personal fulfillment in philosophy/knowledge/art, and spending your money... but there are enough random things in the world to keep your interest for at least another 20 years.

[einbert]

I read your post and I can empathize with your problem. Depression is a very painful process which is caused usually by the loss of something very close to you. This could be a parent, girlfriend, or money, but usually it is something to do with your belief system and the way you view the world. For example it is very natural for someone to experience deep depression coming out of college because suddenly the world becomes a place where they must constantly work to survive instead of be supported by their parents.

The thing that you are trying to "give up" emotionally could certainly be your leg. To me, that would really represent a loss of independence and the ability to do a ton of things. Especially from how you have talked about your recent lack of competitive drive, it makes perfect sense. Losing what you've lost represents to you losing the ability to compete with other people in many areas. I know I would experience a depression if the same thing happened to me. That may not be it, though--only by embracing your suffering and lots of thought and contemplation can you truly discover what it is you are now missing.

Another possibility is that you may be feeling that you are leaving a state of financial dependence to a state of financial independence. While this is a very exciting move to make, it is also a terrifying one in many ways. I experienced a time of depression when I made this transition as well.

As you get older and you question the things you have always believed, it is a naturally very painful process to give up the old reality and that is what is probably causing your depression. The depression occurs because you know what you used to believe won't work, but you are very afraid of entering into a new belief. Your mind right now is in sort of an in-between state, a vacuum of sorts. The best thing to do now is try to figure out what belief or thing you have had to let go of, and try to embrace your new belief or new reality. This is a very painful and difficult process, and the most essential part is facing the pain and suffering rather than avoiding it. Avoiding the depression will cause it to last longer and longer--many people remain in depression for years or even their whole lives because it is too difficult to actually face the pain and suffering that a new reality demands.

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My parents want me to see a doctor, but I honestly feel like I can overcome anything myself.....I just lack desire to.

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You talk about all the money you have made, and I think that's great. You have invested your time into your future security, which shows a lot of maturity. I think you could make another really great investment in your future by going to see a psychologist. He or she can help you understand exactly why you are depressed, and they can help you embrace the suffering of depression so that you can move on with your life. The process of facing depression is always painful, but it is much more fast with the help of a psychologist. And you might just learn a lot of things about yourself that you never would have without his help.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk or have any questions about anything [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

Josh