I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me

[ QUOTE ]
No, you don't understand, it's not about if the MONKEY is on tilt.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you not think its possible for monkeys to go on tilt?

I was playing at the Mirage once and this monkey lost a huge pot to some donk....not a real donkey, mind you....that would just be weird. So this monkey, he leaped up onto his seat and started jumping up and down and screeching - like those apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey. The floor manager came over and coaxed him down with a banana, but it wasn't easy. Finally, he calmed down and took his seat - but on the next hand, he pushed all in and was called by AA - he had 72o. He leaped away from the table and spent the rest of the evening masturbating in the corner.

So don't tell ME that monkeys can't go on tilt!

[Marlow]

I disagree with some of the others that you mght have a gambling problem. I think that most players (even winning players) melt down from time to time and lose much much more than they should. After all, this was miney from a bankroll, not a 2nd mortgage... and there's a big difference between these.

Ok, I went through the almost exact same thing for years. Here's what I did:

On paper I described each problem I had concerning discipline. Then I posted each one here as they came up for me. Looks like you are on that road already...

Next, I defined my poker goals. Again, I wrote down how much I wanted to win, and what stakes I wanted to be playing at in 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year. I reread this document every week.

Then I devised ways to figure out when I was tilting, and preplanned ways to stop playing. I decided that if I was getting upset, that I needed to stop immediately, even if I was down. Then I had to stop playing for no less than a few days. In that time, I had to write down the problems with my game and my attitude.

Finally, I've made a deal with myself that if I'm going to play poker, I have to read about it every single day. I never ever take a day off unless I really need it or I can't for some reason. Even 5 minutes on 2+2 counts.

I think that the point is that no matter what you decide to do, WRITE IT DOWN. Keep it in a place that you can find it very easily. Reread it often.

They say that only ~8% of online players are winners. My guess is that something like 35% of all players could be winning players if they didn't have bad emotional control.

gl2u

Marlow

Here was my thought progression as I read the original post

I drop 25 bets at 2/4 after a few beats. "Oh [censored]", I say to myself, "I need to make that money back, thats enough money to eat for 2 weeks"

- OK - so the guy went on tilt - it happens

Here, lets go to a 400 NL table and stack someone. QQ runs into KK and BAM... "Oh [censored] oh [censored], I need that money...

- well, buddy learned a tough lesson....

lets take a grand and double it back up playing BJ"

- uh oh.

Double down on 11, get a 2 dealer flips 11 and BAM, im done, down about 1500 for a winrate of around -$18000/hr

- um....did he just bet all that money on ONE HAND??? Get this guy some help.

See, it isn't the first two actions that concern me - its the third.

Hank, I think the second move is just as bad as the third. OP's reasoning was to stack someone, not to earn money through solid play.

OP:
Either your bankroll is too small or your gamble is too big.

[pyedog]

[ QUOTE ]
Here was my thought progression as I read the original post

I drop 25 bets at 2/4 after a few beats. "Oh [censored]", I say to myself, "I need to make that money back, thats enough money to eat for 2 weeks"

- OK - so the guy went on tilt - it happens

Here, lets go to a 400 NL table and stack someone. QQ runs into KK and BAM... "Oh [censored] oh [censored], I need that money...

- well, buddy learned a tough lesson....

lets take a grand and double it back up playing BJ"

- uh oh.

Double down on 11, get a 2 dealer flips 11 and BAM, im done, down about 1500 for a winrate of around -$18000/hr

- um....did he just bet all that money on ONE HAND??? Get this guy some help.

See, it isn't the first two actions that concern me - its the third.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree completely. For someone for whom $100 is a significant amount of money to gamble with ("I need to make that money back, thats enough money to eat for 2 weeks") betting $1000 on one hand of blackjack out of desperation is a very concerning sign about problematic gambling. Granted he gambled away poker winnings but it doesn't seem like that's a far step from desparately wanting to win back that $1500 and using his personal savings to try to do so.

At the very least I would recommend some time away from gambling of any sort as well as some serious introspection.

[SNOWBALL138]

Yeah dude thats pretty sad. Sorry to hear your story. If you ever play again, I recommend keeping minimal money in your poker account and using depsit limits.

Its not really the end of the world. If this has happened many times before, you probably have a major problem. However, if gambling, and the lack of self control attendent to it, is new to you, then I wouldn't throw in the towel yet. I believe that self control and discipline can be learned.

[ QUOTE ]
Hank, I think the second move is just as bad as the third. OP's reasoning was to stack someone, not to earn money through solid play.

OP:
Either your bankroll is too small or your gamble is too big.

[/ QUOTE ]

The second step is a warning sign - but lets face it, when going through a downswing, I think everyone has had moments where they make less-than-optimal decisions. We are humans and, as such, we are prone to stupidity.

However, I think that going the next step of not only trying to win it all back, but trying to win it all back at a game that, even if you play perfectly, you are still only about 48% to win, indicates a real problem.

[revots33]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you not think its possible for monkeys to go on tilt?

I was playing at the Mirage once and this monkey lost a huge pot to some donk....not a real donkey, mind you....that would just be weird. So this monkey, he leaped up onto his seat and started jumping up and down and screeching - like those apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey. The floor manager came over and coaxed him down with a banana, but it wasn't easy. Finally, he calmed down and took his seat - but on the next hand, he pushed all in and was called by AA - he had 72o. He leaped away from the table and spent the rest of the evening masturbating in the corner.

So don't tell ME that monkeys can't go on tilt!

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL vnh

[Sniper]

[ QUOTE ]
It had been 2 or 3 months since one of these episodes.... I drop 25 bets at 2/4 after a few beats... lets take a grand and double it back up playing BJ

[/ QUOTE ]

Immediately go to your bank and sign an unrevokable letter authorizing them to never under any circumstance approve a home equity loan for you!

[RiverTheNuts]

Writing these out is one thing, actually keeping to them is another.

I play poker to win money and because I enjoy using my brain to make good decisions. Tilting is the antithesis of making money. It is getting your money in with the worst of it, relying solely on variance to make money, which makes me no better than a drunk tourist in vegas. The longterm in poker is alot longer than I seem to think it to be. Therefore, superceding anything written below, I will quit for the day when any loss goes over 30 BB. This is for my own protection, and I know that this way frustration will not lead to unsound judgement.

My current bankroll is a touch over 1000 dollars. Although my sample size isnt @ 10k hands yet, I am running at 8 BB/100 at 1/2 6 max, so I am pretty confident that I can beat the game for a good amount if tilt is not a factor.

I will play 300 hands every day @ 1/2 6 max until December. At 300 hands/day and an estimated winrate of 8 dollars/100, this should make me a little less than 25 dollars/day, taking reload bonuses into account.

After each round of 300 I will import the history to PT and evaluate stats and any poor play. I will keep any funds over 500 dollars in my poker checking account, as most reloads dont require more than 500 to get the max, and this will protect myself from any impulse tilt betting.

I have approximately 85 days until I need to start cramming for exams and getting ready for X-mas. By this time, my goal is to have PT stats with VPIP under 30 and aggression factor over 2.25, as these are currently my 2 biggest hinderances to my game, with VPIP around 35, and Agression at 1.75. Further, if everything goes to plan, around 3000 dollars in my bankroll. At this point I will reevaluate where/how/if I want to continue playing.

In Summary: Think how [censored] lousy you felt this morning after losing a months worth of work. It will feel like that every time; you arent going to luck out like some donk; you will crash and burn, and it will hurt, you will feel like an ass, and you wont have money to buy little things that you want. Playing solid poker over the LONG HAUL is the only way you can gamble and be successful at it.


PS- I started back up this afternoon after work, rededicated... 150 hands, +21 BB.. then again, its easy to play well when you are winning and you just had the taste of puke in your mouth in the morning, lets hope it lasts