Cleaning lady steals from me -- can I go to the cops?

[Warik]

I have a better solution.

"Senora, tu robaste $1,000 mio. O me lo pagas o voy a llamar a immigracion y mandarte de nuevo para Mexico o de donde cono viniste a la velocidad de un jodio cohete."

Rehearse in front of the mirror.

After she pays you back, fire her and change your locks.

(Translation: "Ma'am, you stole my $1,000. Either you pay it back or I'm gonna call immigration and they're going to send you back to Mexico or wherever the [censored] you came from at the speed of rocket.")