Everyday Dick Moves

[Brainwalter]

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This is completely wrong. It is most effecient if everyone uses every last inch of the closing lane to merge. And the cause of the slowdown is uncooperative merging. The merging would be uncooperative no matter if it took place ten miles back, or at the last second. But using all of the available lane allows the most throughput for a given stretch of road. So I hate to tell you guys, but by not letting people in you are the dicks and are slowing everyone down.

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Thank you. This is one 100% correct. It is a merge so if everyone just merged at a steady pace instead on cramming into the one lane a 2 miles ahead of the end it would run smoothly.

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NO, the one lane is a bottleneck. Throughput is the same regardless of where the merging takes place, it is almost always a function of only the one lane.

Merging COULD be done at the last second, but this wouldn't speed things up, and if people are merging earlier, and you uncooperatively try to skip all of them, you're the dick.

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Of course Brainwalter is right. It doesn't matter if everyone merges at the last second, or a mile back when they first see the contruction sign, the total system speed will be the same. Normal people are angry because a couple assholes cut down their individual wait time, and add to everyone else's.

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There are volumes of research on traffic patterns done by nearly every city state and national government in the world. They make for interesting readin when you are REAL bored.

The reason this is wrong is because traffic does not resume normal flow once it becomes one lane, or less lanes. The longer the lane restrictions the lower the throughput. Queueing prior to merging makes this area of lessened flow longer. And the merging difficulties are EXACTLY the same at the moment of queueing. If there is pavement that can hold a car, you want a car on it.

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OK well I'm not an expert, but longer lane restrictions are not the same as cars in unrestricted lanes merging early. You might be right, but I'm not willing to concede that everyone merging half a mile earlier has the same effect as the lane restriction starting half a mile earlier. At least not without evidence.

[tonypaladino]

When I am crossing in a crosswalk, it seems that most drivers trying to make the turn fail to realize that I have the right of way and give a horn tap. As soon as the motherfuckerasswad taps on the horn I stop dead right there in the middle of the street and just stare at the driver for a good 5 minutes blocking traffic. Once this happened as I was lucky enough to be carrying a bolt cutter I had just bought at Home Depot. I got out of the guys way and as he passed I smashed his tail light in with the bolt cutter. Good times.

Edited for stupid speeeellling mistakee

[dblgutshot]

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When I am crossing in a crosswalk, it seems that most drivers trying to make the turn fail to realize that I have the right of way and give a horn tap. As soon as the motherfuckerasswad taps on the horn I stop dead right there in the middle of the street and just stare at the driver for a good 5 minutes blocking traffic. Once this happened as I was lucky enough to be carrying a bold cutter I had just bought at Home Depot. I got out of the guys way and as he passed I smashed his tail light in with the bold cutter. Good times.

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This just scares me.

[Blarg]

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Driving:

A temporary construction sign says lane closed ahead and people wait until the last second to get over, this is pretty much the cause of any construction traffic, and then when it gets really backed up people race down the open lane and try to get over, i never let these [censored] over.

Also when someone is trying to get over in the everyday situation and i use the stare ahead and act like i dont see them, its great.

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I'm a big fan of the reverse dick moves...

Also in traffic if there are jerks driving by on the shoulder and I'm in the right lane I'll move my car half way onto the shoulder so they cant wizz by. There's really no reason for this except vindictiveness...I should stop that...

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I do this. Screw 'em. You can get a whole other lane going on the shoulder of the road when people do that, each car scooting up to cut in, often doing it dangerously, making it takes way more than twice as long for you when it already takes 15 minutes in grid locked traffic to get up an onramp. I'd have to be insane to give a damn about those creeps not getting their fair chance to jam in front of me.

P.S. A great pleasure of having a crap car, admittedly one of the very few, is when you see guys trying their "ballsy" moves of scooting toward your car like if you don't move and let them in you'll get hit, so you've gotta move cuz you don't have the stones to stop them -- and staying where you are while they steam and have to give up. It's a soothing feeling when their dickless ways don't get them ahead for once because you both know that if there's a collision, they're going to be the one coming out the worse for it. Sure buddy, crash your sweet new ride into my old beater. I'll be crying so hard to lose a few more flakes of rust. And any time you want to hand me a few hundred bucks, I'm up for it. Allah akbar!

[mikeyvegas]

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When I am crossing in a crosswalk, it seems that most drivers trying to make the turn fail to realize that I have the right of way and give a horn tap. As soon as the motherfuckerasswad taps on the horn I stop dead right there in the middle of the street and just stare at the driver for a good 5 minutes blocking traffic. Once this happened as I was lucky enough to be carrying a bolt cutter I had just bought at Home Depot. I got out of the guys way and as he passed I smashed his tail light in with the bolt cutter. Good times.

Edited for stupid speeeellling mistakee

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Boltcutters, wow.

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When I am crossing in a crosswalk, it seems that most drivers trying to make the turn fail to realize that I have the right of way and give a horn tap. As soon as the motherfuckerasswad taps on the horn I stop dead right there in the middle of the street and just stare at the driver for a good 5 minutes blocking traffic. Once this happened as I was lucky enough to be carrying a bolt cutter I had just bought at Home Depot. I got out of the guys way and as he passed I smashed his tail light in with the bolt cutter. Good times.

Edited for stupid speeeellling mistakee

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Bolt cutters, huh. I wouldn't have corrected you

[Blarg]

Good thing. You don't want to end up another member of the thumb jar he keeps on his nightstand.

[tonypaladino]

stop telling people about the jar [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

[mblax10]

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I like when someone is tailgaiting me and in an obvious hurry to get by, and its a 2 lane road and someone slow is in the right lane, I'll just pace them so the guy behind cant get by. But for added fun ill slow down a little bit so the car on the right gets ahead, and then when the guy behind me jumps lanes because it looks like that lane will be faster, I speed up, and when he jumps back into my lane, I slow down again. good times

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Yeah, this is definitely a good everyday dick move.

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I always thought this was called a Mexican speedtrap, don't remember the origin. I also like to pull this move whenever the situation allows.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

Just went to Von's for some salmon/bagel breakfast action. Total was 10.98. Gave girl 15, got 4.02 back. Left Von's. Saw guy with a Santa hat, ringing the bell for the salvation army. He had no legs and was using a voice-box to speak. I reached in my pocket, around the 4 bills, grabbed the two pennies, and made my donation. He said merry xmas, I said have a nice day.