giving your gf money...

[DcifrThs]

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piano lesson

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yea i shoulda specified...its a grand piano that has monthly payments...she teaches herself.

anyways, i think you also have a good point...i just feel bad when she feels bad and want her to be happy, or at least not worried about the next week or whatever...

Barron

[DcifrThs]

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unless it's done very sporadically

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thats clearly the plan. the word allowance never crossed my mind.

Barron

[jakethebake]

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i just feel bad when she feels bad and want her to be happy

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Ding! You're a nice guy. Nothing wrong with it.

[miajag81]

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i just feel bad when she feels bad and want her to be happy

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That's good and all, but throwing cash at her isn't the best way to do this, looking at the long term.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
piano lesson

[/ QUOTE ]

yea i shoulda specified...its a grand piano that has monthly payments...she teaches herself.

anyways, i think you also have a good point...i just feel bad when she feels bad and want her to be happy, or at least not worried about the next week or whatever...

Barron

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It is very understandable and as I said before you seem like a really good guy.
If she is unhappy with her financial situation, she needs to make a change. It should not be your burden to carry.

[MelK]

Give her a chance to take the money for herself.

Leaving a few Franklins, Grants and Jacksons laying around haphazardly should do the trick.

[jaydub]

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I've run into this before too. You really just want to do something nice for them, but you're afraid that the nice gesture will make them uncomfortable. Sometimes it does. How do you still do it without them feeling that way? Great question. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

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thanks, any ideas??

Barron

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It's all going to depend on your relationship. In some relationships this can put you in a problematic provider role, in others this can simply be the nice gesture you want it to be. Since we are on the outside, we cannot tell you if this will cause a problem in your specific relationship, only that this can cause a problem. Factors such as length and depth of the relationship, personal views on money, and personality types will determine the result.

If you do give her a substantial (to her) amount of money, I highly recommend you do it with the attitude of "money ain't a thing". I wouldn't even get into calling it a loan, just make a throwaway comment like you can pay me back when you get a chance. Pretend like you have so much money that giving her that amount has no effect on you. Of course you will be best served if you actually have that view. It sounds like you don't care about the money and have no concerns about getting paid back, which is very good here.

Also, have you considered just waiting until she asks?

[canis582]

$5,200/year. What percent of your income is that?

[jaydub]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
piano lesson

[/ QUOTE ]

yea i shoulda specified...its a grand piano that has monthly payments...she teaches herself.

anyways, i think you also have a good point...i just feel bad when she feels bad and want her to be happy, or at least not worried about the next week or whatever...

Barron

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It is very understandable and as I said before you seem like a really good guy.
If she is unhappy with her financial situation, she needs to make a change. It should not be your burden to carry.

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While good advice is some types of relationships, this is atrocious advice in a long term, committed relationship with two people who have vast disparities in income and wealth. I cannot say whether the first qualifier is true here but it damn sure sounds like the second is.

[Lazymeatball]

Why don't you just marry her, if you feel obligated to help her financially?