Admitting defeat

[bicyclekick]

About August 10th I decided I would take the rest of the month off to focus on the 20/40 and 30/60 games as the bigger games were stressing me out and making poker not fun. I had a blast the rest of the month and a few days into september I got back into the higher games again with a very clear mind. I won quite a bit right away but then ran bad and ended the month with 20k less than I had on the 12th. Or maybe I'm not as good as I thought and don't really have an edge. I was pretty sure I did as there were lots of sick beats. I was still upbeat and feeling good (james can attest to this) but wasn't sure if the most money can be made at the bigger games over the 30's and 20's for a player like me. I kept trudging along.

Things went decent then this past Monday I had a great day. I think my biggest day ever. +34k. Was really hot and I was playing great poker. Today was the complete opposite. -48k. ooof.

After 38k I took a break. I wasn't upset and was feeling 'fine' but am sure I had lost my fearlessness. You need it to beat the high limit games. I didn't have it. Went and played live for 4 hours. Came back, dropped another 10k. That's a sick amount of money. I'm not upset, I just don't think I'm ready for this kind of stuff...and that's what's frustrating to me. I don't like failing or admitting defeat on stuff, but I think the right play here is finishing the month playing 30's. I'm still up 9k on the month and I gotta remind myself that's still a great paycheck. At least the 50/100 / 100/200 party games suck usually...so it won't be a huge temptation.

High-limits: You win again. I'm sure we'll meet again someday...when I'm ready.