The calling stations in our life.....

[davet]

There have been a lot of posts about friends and family and leaving/ restricting poker. I made more than one post on this, so I am guilty as well.

I have the fortune of not having a family to worry about, but I do deal with my friends, usually refered to "my so called friends" on this site.

I want to start by saying that all of our non- poker friends/ family are basically in the same mold as calling stations. I don't mean this to be insulting, it's just that poker players managed to give these people such an insulting name. They are risk- averse, and don't understand what we are doing. They only see a loss as a loss and a win as a win. We poker players see hours at a poker as a win, no matter what the out- come of this session, since our hourly rate will come to us --- eventually.

Unfortunately, calling stations don't comprehend us. They conclude that since their strategy isn't working, then ours can't be working either. They see their own strategies as the best and most logical. If their strategies aren't working, then our couldn't be working either.

The same follows with our friends and family. They were taught that the best way to live life is to go to college, get married, have kids, try to get out of debt and die. Any thing, especially poker, that breaks this mold is foriegn, and freightening.

The sad part is that many of our loved ones are highly judgemental of us. But we should treat all of them in the same regards as we do calling stations. We don't tell a calling station s/he is playing incorrectly, and we certainly don't yell at them for chasing and spiking an obvious one- outer on the river. We simply sit back and accept what happened. It is no big deal. Surely, if we were to offend a calling station, we would be berated by them, "Well, look who won that pot, huh?" A win is a win and a loss is a loss.

I can honesly see the millions of problems in all of my friends, the difference is that I don't exploit it, or try to convince them that they are wrong about the way they are living their life or that I am right in the way I live mine. I have always believed that no person has the right to tell another person how to live their life. If becoming a midget- clown pornstar is his or her desire in life, I will be the first in line to kick their ### toward that goal.

I think that the best way to deal with people is to lead by example. We all know that arguing isn't going to get us anywhere. We can't point out to our friends that we have studied this game to the point of exaustion, spending time reading and playing at the tables. We all had to go through losing at first, and the challenge of grinding it back is what made us fall in love with the game.

Poker is a philosphy in life as much as it is a philosophy of games. We are constantly challenged with ever- changing situations, and yes we are met with huge surprises from time to time.

The second way we can lead by example is not demeaning anybody, especially behind their backs. We all live in glass houses, and we have to stones to throw, the only ones who will throw stones are the ones who believe they got that stone from their house.

The only thing that matters at the end of the day is how well we sleep at night, with the knowledge that we have to face ourselves in the mirror. Our mothers and friends are not going to share our beds, nor are they going to sleep for us.

People tend to try to help other's, and the only way they know to do this is by being "blunt," even if they are wrong. Take for example, Christians. We can turn on a hundred channels and learn how we can go to hell because we don't believe in Jesus, and sometimes we have to hear the bull- horn on the street corner. The reason these people are so fanatic is because they are unsure of themselves, and they want to convince themselves they are right. This logic applies to why our friends call us "degenerate" or argue with us all the time.

The only way we could bring our loved ones to our side is to sit them down with your library of books and have them understand what they are all saying. The problem goes back to fear of the unknown, and anything that breaks our truths is a threat to our foundations. We can assume that we, as gamblers are a treat to the knowledge our loved ones have, on an intellectual and moral level.

I know that parts of this post may sound negative, but the nay- sayers are negative influences in our lives, and there is really no positive way to describe them. My belief has always been that the devil is the voice inside of us that says "we can't"

[jkkkk]

Nice post.

[gildwulf]

Just forwarded that in an email to a bunch of poker buddies and some friends...awesome post!!!!!

[lotus776]

your insight about the negative influence which is recieved by others is an excellent revelatin to me! When you said that "If their strategies aren't working, then ours couldn't be working either" I think you are exactly correct. I'm looking at this from the perspective that gambling in my clique is considered "square" and that I'm destined to lose money even though I regularly cash checks from online gaming. Simply b/c people don't know how to beat the game themselves doesn't mean that I haven't learned how...excellent insight

[A_C_Slater]

They were taught that the best way to live life is to go to college, get married, have kids, try to get out of debt and die. [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]


Goddamn [censored] right!

[Drontier]

2 thumbs up

[ismisus]

im glad poker has helped you find a greater meaning. however its no secret that being assertive in life gets you things. Look at all the books by successful people, they all praise imagination and ambition as their top factors. They all downplay knoweldge and college. Einstein himself said..Imagination is more important than knowledge...

[vexvelour]

Amen, great post.

[davet]

Thanks a bunch. [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

I wasn't too sure how this post would be recieved. Sometimes I feel like my ideas are crazy. I guess I really don't care anymore. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[AKQJ10]

Very nice post.

On a tangentially but-only-slightly related note, I tried to explain "calling stations" to the readership of DailyKos in response to David Mamet's editorial implying that the Democrats don't know when to raise and either get bluffed out or just call down to the river and lose every hand. (I'm Libertarian, not Democrat, in case someone wants to start an off-topic political discussion.)

At any rate, the point is that a lot of people are calling stations. But poker, and politics, are bad career choices for those people.