Mike: "It's not mine"

[ohnonotthat]

"It's like this officer, that [crack] pipe belongs to friend of mine who just got out of rehab. He was at my house for Thanksgiving and he 'left it there'. I brought it out to my car so it wouldn't be where my kids could find it; I was on my was to find an appropriate place to get rid of it."

Not he "PROBABLY left it there", or "it MIGHT belong to my friend" . . . "it IS my friend's."

Michael Irvin holds several NFL records for pass receiving (but strangely enough never finished higher than 503rd in the voting for NFL's most stand-up guy). My guess is his "friend" is now the holder of the "fastest trip to the spot after getting out of rehab", a/k/a the "Steve Howe Award".

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Sigh.



Are these guys physically incapable of telling the truth ?

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On the bright side he did protect his friend by not divulging his name to authorities.

Police plan to look into the man's identity but according to a police spokesperson, "This is apt to be a lengthy investigation since there ain't no tellin' how long it might take to round up all the crack heads Mr. Irvin had as guests for the holiday."

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This concludes the entertainment portion of our show. Tune in tomorrow when our guests will include a dog who has averaged a 15% profit over the last 10 years with his stock selections AND a woman whose left breast bears an uncanny resemblence to James K. Polk".