Poker is making me lose feeling.

[A_C_Slater]

...and in the southern deserts of Sudan the heat rises in airless waves, thousands upon thousands of men, women, children, roam throughout the vast bushland, desperately seeking food.

Ravaged and starving, leaving a trail of dead, emaciated bodies, they eat weeds and leaves and...lily pads, stumbling from villiage to villiage, dying slowly, inexorably; a gray morning in the miserable desert, grit flies through the air, a child with a face like a black moon lies in the sand, scratching at his throat, cones of dust rising, flying across land like whirling tops, no one can see the sun, the child is covered with sand, almost dead, eyes unblinking, grateful (stop and imagine for an instant a world where someone is grateful for something) none of the haggard pay attention as they file by, dazed and in pain.

[PairTheBoard]

You might actually be suffering from Depresion. If it gets too bad you might see a doctor. imo, one of the best natural remedies for depression - along with a lot of other ailments - is Exercise.

Emotions were mentioned I believe by Zygote and bodhi. There are meditation techniques that help you explore and integrate your emotions rather than stuffing or suppressing them. I'm finding a lot of wisdom in the book, "Meditation Secrets for Women". I think it's just as applicable for men. It goes beyond the traditional techniques of meditation.

Here's an excerpt:
"Most of the time emotions show up for a good reason: something needs to move within us and needs to be communicated, at least to ourselves. Stifling emotions only leads to fragmentation. We therefore advocate the radical exploration of the movement of emotion, untidy as this may seem.

Beware of talking yourself out of the deeper gift of emotion. Here's the secret: there is another mode entirely, the delicate art and skill of consciously riding the emotion back to its primal source.

In meditation you can get "underneath" the content--the story, memory, image, or event attached to the feeling. We do not mean dissociation or detachment, or even "mindfulness". Behind the mask of each character, behind the label of each emotion, is pure life force. The emotion itself is a sign of some essential energy that wants to circulate through your system, a palpable, physical stream of power. Whatever the emotion, you can enter and ride its current in meditation. You can consciously join with the stream and let it inform you.

When you suppress your vital energy, it has dire consequences for your physical and emotional well-being. When life force backs up, it is experienced as:

1.Irritability
2.Depression
3.Tiredness
4.Confusion
5.Moodiness
6.Headaches
7.Symptoms of illness"

Check it out.

PairTheBoard

[Roman]

I have honestly never been depressed in my life, and am not now.

[Roman]

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] thanks for the advice, don't you think just falling back would to where I used to be would be easier/better?

[PairTheBoard]

Roman:"I have since lost pretty much all pleasure and feeling in life. My outlook on life has become very calculated and detached, and things just seem to have lost their punch. It seems as if I do not enjoy anything anymore, "

You may or may not be "depressed". But those are definitely some of the symptoms of clinical depression.

PairTheBoard

[grandgnu]

I think I can understand the lack of feeling you're talking about. Definetely getting outside, some fresh air, going for a walk, enjoying nature. See the sun, hear the birds. Stand outside with a hood on when it's raining and listen to the tap, tap, tap of the water pelting off your hood.

Try to do something that has meaning. Help someone else out in life, whether as a volunteer, etc. I'm assuming you play poker for a living now? You said the money doesn't matter anymore?

I take this to mean you have been successful, but it's gotten to the point where it doesn't matter if you win or lose because you're all set financially?

If so, take on an understudy, someone with an eagerness to learn the game. Find joy in helping someone else grow as a player, and maybe they can help you grow emotionally as a person.

It doesn't take poker to make a person feel hollow and empty inside, any job or situation in life (or various hardships) can do that to you.

I hope you're able to work things out. And hey, if money REALLY doesn't mean that much to you, I could use a few grand. Getting married this October and trying to build a poker bankroll on top of that, yoikes! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Roman]

I am actually still in high school, so I have no expenses and a lot of money [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

I did just that this weekend, bought Confederacy of Dunces (as suggested), and took a nice walk, helped a lot, I just need to find a way to balance it all in the future. Maybe working out will help.

[grandgnu]

[ QUOTE ]
I am actually still in high school, so I have no expenses and a lot of money [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

I did just that this weekend, bought Confederacy of Dunces (as suggested), and took a nice walk, helped a lot, I just need to find a way to balance it all in the future. Maybe working out will help.

[/ QUOTE ]

Still in high school??? Geesh! Wait until you work 40+ hours per week, THEN you'll know a REAL soul-sucking feeling. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Personally, I lean more towards Socialism than Capitalism. As such, I believe most Americans work WAY too friggin much. I think the ideal for our country would be 4-6 hours per day and 4 days per week. People need more social, luxury and family time, we're too stressed out as a nation.

Enjoy your youth while it lasts, after you hit 20 the years go by VERY fast.