Divorced

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I got divorced about 2 years ago... 19 month old daughter.

[/ QUOTE ]
So you knocked up some other girl while still married?

[/ QUOTE ]

Divorce proceedings may take a while to be finalized

[ddubois]

Yes, and they should be finalized before getting entangled in a relationship with someone else. Not just out of 'respect for the institution of marriage', but because it's best everyone involved, particularly the rebound girl. At least, that what Dr. Joy Browne would say.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
Yes, and they should be finalized before getting entangled in a relationship with someone else. Not just out of 'respect for the institution of marriage', but because it's best everyone involved, particularly the rebound girl. At least, that what Dr. Joy Browne would say.

[/ QUOTE ]

And thus we see why my post was intentially posted/deleted.

Don't judge dude, you know nothing about this persons situation.

[mslif]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Yes, and they should be finalized before getting entangled in a relationship with someone else. Not just out of 'respect for the institution of marriage', but because it's best everyone involved, particularly the rebound girl. At least, that what Dr. Joy Browne would say.

[/ QUOTE ]

And thus we see why my post was intentially posted/deleted.

Don't judge dude, you know nothing about this persons situation.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am starting to think I did the right thing by not posting my story.

[ddubois]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't judge dude, you know nothing about this persons situation.

[/ QUOTE ]
Untrue. I know this much:

I got divorced about 2 years ago after about 20 years of marrige. The financial settlement sucked, but my 2 teenage boys got over it and I married a great woman. We have a wonderful 19 month old daughter. The trauma is always hard, but it's better than staying in a marrige devoid of love.

That's actually alot of information. Should I judge him based on this much? Probably not. But then, I didn't say: "I have concluded you are a bad person", nor anything to that effect. Perhaps I judged the situation, and found it to be sub-optimal. I don't need anyone's permission to form an initial impression; people do it on this forum a thousand times a day.

[ddubois]

[ QUOTE ]
I am starting to think I did the right thing by not posting my story.

[/ QUOTE ]
Why do you say this? Do you feel your story might embarrass you, or that you have something to be ashamed of? If for some reason you give a rat's ass what people in OOT think about your life and your choices, then yes, perhaps you did the right thing.

I am of the opinion that if your marriage is really bad, you should: 1) work on it, 2) work on it some more, 3) proceed with divorce, 4) finalize the divorce, 5) take some time introspective time off from relationships in general, 6) start dating; and that those steps should be done in that order. Again, not out of respect for marriage in general, nor your own marriage in particular - maybe your wife was evil incarnate - but because it's best for you, and it's best for any new woman who would have to deal with your emotional baggage.

[zoomOut]

The one year rule right? Dr. Joy would be proud of you. Sounds good in theory but implementing it is a feat. Love doesn't always play by rules even when people who set them have the best intentions.

[Happy Hour]

I am. Was married for five years. Thankfully, we had no children.

I have to agree with getting it over with before dating again. If for no other reason than to not have to explain to prospective girlfriends why you are still technically married.

[Barry]

Listen pal...

I really don't need to explain myself to you, but for starters my ex and I had been separated for over 2 years before my current wife became pregnant. Divorces take a long time.

[EliteNinja]

50% of all marriages end in divorce.
That's a very sad fact.

Another sad fact is that the other 50% of marriages end in death.