World RPS Trip Report

[Diplomat]

As I'm sure most of you are aware, the 2005 World RPS Championship was held last Saturday in my hometown of Toronto, Canada. I finally lived my dream of competing in this prestegious event after years of training (read: Street RPS'ing for the Shotgun seat of many a car). I was mentally, physically and emotionally ready for the challenge that awaited me, my eyes set on the $7,000 first place prize.

Our team, Dead Money, rolled into town from Chicago Saturday morning. Our all-star team included Jerry and Yan, traders by day, RPS champions by night, Charles, Jerry's RPS protege, Soo and Jan, RPS novices and team managers, and of course our physiotherapist Josh, along to keep the team in prime condition.

After braving the rainstorm we had a great pre-competition dinner at Nami , which was fantastic. Then again, pretty much anything tastes great with four bottles of Sake. Being Japanese and therefore familiar with the ancient art of Jan Ken Pon, the staff wished us well and shook a few hands.

Final negotiations over last-longer bets were made and we were off to the Championship, which was to be held at the Steam Whistle Brewery. Clearly the organizers had put some careful thought into chosing a location. However, they did not put much throught into how to deal with the rain; we had to wait outside for about 20 minutes in the pouring rain before we got through "security" and into the building. What brewery has security this intensive? But I digress; just one minor hurdle between me and everlasting glory.

The scene was bedlam. There was hundreds -- more like thousands -- of contestants already registered, wandering around with their respective teams and challenging other teams to Street RPS Matches. I worked my way though the crowd to the registration booth, checked in, and made a B-line for the bar. According to our physiotherapist and trainer, Josh, it is essential to sustain inebriation in order to compete at the highest level. And besides, I was in a friggin' brewery.

Shortly after 8 pm the crew of referee's was sworn in and sent to their various arenas. Since there were so many competitors, there was to be four first-round heats; Myself and Jerry were in heat one, everyone else was in heat two. I made my way through the crowd to arena N for my first match.

The tension was thick. Camera crews and journalists ran about, taking interviews from famous RPS players and novices alike. Teams began their cheers. Arena N was crowded with spectators and players, eagerly awaiting the matches ahead. I pushed through to the arena floor (read: small table covered with a black table cloth, splattered with stale beer and rum) to sign in to the referee. The competition looked excited and ready (read: drunk).

The referee explained how this works. Eight players per heat. Referee would randomly pair up the eight players who would square off in matches of best out of three, out of three. The winners of those matches would be paired with each other leaving two undefeated players, who would move on to the next round. Making any throw besides rock, paper, scissors would result in disqualification.

My first match was against a burly member of Team Paper, a new team to the RPS Championship. I employed the somewhat unconventional scissors, scissors, rock, then rock, scissors, rock combinations to handily defeat him in two sets. I could see the pain and disapointment in his eyes as the referee tore the "UNDEFEATED" badge from his chest. My second match was against another member of Team Paper, who apparently had some previous RPS experience. He was tense and clearly pumped up to be taking on the dispatcher of his fellow team-mate, making paper an obvious first choice for me. I won the first set throwing paper, paper, scissors, lost the second set throwing rock rock paper, and won the third set with scissors, scissors. Paper, as it was, let Team Paper down. I proudly donned my "Advances to round of 128" badge and headed straight to the bar, pausing briefly to give an interview to some highschool newspaper.

Flushed with confidence from my victory, I dove headfirst into the Street RPS Matches. My team, having all been dispatched in their respective matches, were already squaring off against random competitors for cash, drink tickets, and, of course, Street RPS dollars. Team Paper had its revenge against me though, Taking about $30 off me in short order. My fault for challenging their ringer. Thankfully Jerry and Jan were buying the beer.

After about an hour I stumbled my way over to Arena P, where my second match was to take place. This time the competition looked fierce -- battle-scared and ready, clearly less intoxicated than I. No matter. I shall prevail. With the cameras rolling and the bright lights on, I prepared to dispatch my bearded, teamless foe swiftly. Alas, it was not to be.

I won the first set with the classic scissors, rock, rock combination, but was dispatched in four straight throws when I threw paper, rock, scissors, paper. My team grew silent. The referee reached out and slowly peeled off my "UNDEFEATED" badge. I was out. After a moment of reflection and sorrow, I headed to the bar.

From then on the contest was largely a blur. I vaguely remember getting up on stage and playing some guy for $30, although I cannot recall if I won or not. All in all, it was a blast; lots of fun had by all.

-Diplomat

[callydrias]

Excellent report. I just finished The Official RPS Strategy Guide. Now I just need to find some local competition [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Legian]

nm