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Old 12-19-2003, 10:40 PM
Dr Wogga Dr Wogga is offline
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Default A Nice Holiday Story?? Don\'t Shoot the Messenger....

....as copied from an article in The Onion ......

Already posted on the Other Gambling page in error

REPORT: Poor People Pretty Much Fu !@# cked

WASHINGTON-According to the results of an intensive
two-year study, Americans living below the poverty
line are "pretty much fu !@# cked," Center for Social and
Economic Research executive director Jameson Park
announced Monday.

"Although poor people have never had it particularly
sweet, America has long been considered the land of
opportunity, where upward class mobility is hard
work's reward," Park said. "However, our study shows
that limited access to quality education and a
shortage of employment opportunities in depressed
areas all but ensure that, once fu !@# cked, an individual
tends to stay fu !@# cked."

According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics, 34.6
million Americans were living below the poverty line
in 2002.

"Not only are the down-and-out fu !@# cked, but the number
of down-and-out fu !@# cks is growing," Park said.
"Conditions of disadvantage are often passed from one
generation to the next, making it especially difficult
for young people to emerge from the cycle of poverty."

"Man, my heart goes out to those poor fu !@# ckers," Park
added.

America's increasingly rigid class system worsens the
situation for the poor.

"After analyzing the economic performance of U.S.
households over the past several decades, we concluded
that class mobility, while steady in the '70s and
'80s, declined in the '90s," Park said. "About 40
percent of families ended the decade in the same
economic strata in which they began it. That's up from
about 35 percent in the '80s. That's good news for
those sittin' pretty, but it spells 'fu !@# ck you' to the
poor."


Above: Americans like 12-year-old Tamara Agguire (far
right) of Ponca City, OK, are pretty much fu !@# cked.
As a result, Park said, there are more poor people,
and those poor people are much more screwed than poor
people were a decade or two ago.

"As the split between the upper and lower classes
grows, and the middle class continues to shrink, we're
moving closer and closer to what can only be called a
'no way out, dude. Sorry, you're fu !@# cked'-type
situation," Park said. "Not only are the poor fu !@# cked
at the moment, but any chance they once had of
changing their miserable lives is pretty much gone,
too. Essentially, they're fu !@# cked for all time."

The CSER study identified four major poverty groups
within the U.S. The first two groups-one composed of
disenfranchised blue-collar workers, the other made up
of members of poor rural populations-have been
adversely affected by the nation's gradual shift to a
technology-based, global economy. Researchers have
dubbed disenfranchised blue-collar workers the Factory
Fu !@# cked, while members of poor rural populations are
called the Farm Fu !@# cked. Park characterized the
individuals in these two groups as "fu !@# cked from the
get-go."

The other two rapidly expanding groups of poor fu !@# cks
are the suburban poor, whose members can't afford the
rising cost of such basic necessities as healthcare,
and the urban underclass, whose members are found in
the nation's troubled inner cities. Researchers termed
these groups the Recently Fu !@# cked and the Utterly
Fu !@# cked, respectively.

Economist Harold Knoep said there's little reason for
sympathy.

"In a healthy capitalist economy, some people are
going to be out-competed," Knoep said. "I'm sorry, but
some of those fu !@# ck-ups have fu !@# cked themselves. I am not condoning an anarchic 'fu !@# ck or be fu !@# cked' ethos,
but I can hardly get behind a welfare state that
punishes the unfu !@# cked by fu !@# cking all equally."

While he expressed concern for the nation's poor,
House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) said increased
funding for social programs isn't the answer.

"Nobody's saying poor people aren't fu !@# cked," Hastert
said. "But what about all the people in this great
nation who are not fu !@# cked? If the financial resources
of the economically stable are diverted-through some
well-intentioned but fiscally irresponsible
social-service program-to the people who are fu !@# cked,
where does that leave those who were sailin' along
fine? Fu !@# cked."

Ed Cranston, an under-employed, Detroit-area machinist
who made $14,000 last year, said he was not surprised
by the report.

"They say I'm fu !@# cked?" Cranston asked. "Sh !@# it, man,
tell me something I don't know."
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  #2  
Old 12-20-2003, 04:15 PM
brad brad is offline
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Default Re: A Nice Holiday Story?? Don\'t Shoot the Messenger....

wasnt the counter editorial in the new republic. ?

'dont worry, 99cent burgers brought to u (f///ers) by republicans, so eat up, shut up, and vote for us'
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  #3  
Old 12-20-2003, 06:47 PM
Dr Wogga Dr Wogga is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 230
Default DIdn\'t See It, But I Believe U.........

.....did you like my sentiments regarding Bonus Whores.com? We could do some fine copulating there [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
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  #4  
Old 12-21-2003, 07:47 AM
brad brad is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2002
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Default Re: DIdn\'t See It, But I Believe U.........

my stories , while true, dont really reflect the true nerdy me, 2 b honest [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
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