Most irritating things you've experienced in a game...

[coffeecrazy1]

Since we keep posting these in individual posts, I'm trying to consolidate. I want to see a long thread of rants. Your criterion for including it should be the ACJ standard...i.e. the perpetrator(s) of the crime should be rapidly and repeatedly kicked in the nuts. And...it needs to be specific, not "WPT-wannabes in sunglasses." Go.

For me, one of the worst was someone I actually enjoyed playing with, because he was a fish and a lot of fun to be around. But, this old man would constantly devour his unlit cigar directly onto the felt, leaving small bits of tobacco all over his and the two adjacent positions next to him. Ugh.

[SNOWBALL138]

I was playing at a home game, and this young kid kept calling out his "reads" even when he wasn't in a hand. He called one of my bluffs later on, and ended up yapping about what a great read he made for the next 3 hours.

I've never sat with such an annoying player before in my life. I ended up teaching him a small lesson in humility when he failed to "read" me for a 1 card straight for a 15x the pot all in. Lol.

[Al_Capone_Junior]

[ QUOTE ]
I want to see a long thread of rants. Your criterion for including it should be the ACJ standard...i.e. the perpetrator(s) of the crime should be rapidly and repeatedly kicked in the nuts. And...it needs to be specific, not "WPT-wannabes in sunglasses."

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm honored. First my "internet-to-B&M rant post" gets stickied to the top, and now this!

Speech! Speech!

Ok, ok.

But seriously folks, let's talk for just a moment here. Ranting is an art form, serious business, not to be taken lightly. It's the expression of your innermost passion for disliking stupidity at its stupidest, a release of pure unabashed emotion that cannot be contained. I'm an emotional kind of guy, and when something bugs me, I want people to REALLY KNOW how I feel about it all.

But how does a good rant really fit into our daily lives, the purpose of the universe, even the meaning of life? It's a question that mankind has been trying to answer since the dawn of time. Consider this...

Logic and reason are but a twentieth of the totality of man, that's like 5%. Now I know I'm considerably more logical than the average person, I'm at least a full 5.5%. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] The advantage this gets me (evolutionarily speaking) is that I am able to express my ranty-ness in a more complete and total form than a less logical and reasonable person. But overall, I'm still a pretty emotional guy.

So if you're going to rant, please, do be specific. We want details. Not "he had a WPT hat on," but GORY details.

"His cigarette breath was so bad it smelled like my dog's butt last time I switched to a slightly less expensive brand of dog food."

"The mosquitoes outside the cardroom on the smoking patio were so god-damn big, they could butt-**** a chicken."

That's the kind of borderline "TMI" type of thing that really makes a rant, well, RANTY.

So let's hear it everybody, don't hold back now, you know I won't.

And oh yes, please do feel free to kick 'em in the nuts anytime it's needed. Tell 'em Al sent ya.

al

[zuluking]

Great threads tonight.

Al, why the fuk you not dealing WSOP?

[Al_Capone_Junior]

Because I already have a job, don't really want another one, even if temporary, and mostly because I'm too damn lazy to work 16+ hour days! Maybe next year, if I feel like it.

al

[TripleH68]

The thing that pisses me off the most...

These guys who treat the local card room like a retirement village. You know the type. Jeans and sweatshirt. Messy hair. Questionable bathing habits. Takes a seat in a 5-10 game, plays an orbit, walks around, plays an orbit, gets a comp for lunch, sits down for twenty minutes, goes to talk to the floor for awhile, says hi to all the dealers like he is so f***ing cool, leaves for a half hour to go who the hell knows where, some poor new guy asks what is going on with the seat, someone says oh that is 'Ernie's seat' - have I reached rant yet. Ugh. Isn't there a bar on the corner for these guys? Or better yet, can't he hang out at the track and bitch about how all the races are fixed?

Out.

[jnalpak]

lady takes out a gameboy and starts playing TETRIS of all things...sound off. can you say annoying?

[Al_Capone_Junior]

[ QUOTE ]
oh that is 'Ernie's seat' - have I reached rant yet. Ugh. Isn't there a bar on the corner for these guys? Or better yet, can't he hang out at the track and bitch about how all the races are fixed?


[/ QUOTE ]

Sweet. You are "worthy." Nice rant.

al

[coffeecrazy1]

So, I was playing in Lake Charles one time. In Lake Charles, you have your donkish people-who-thought-hey!-casino and your slightly less donkish people-who-don't-have-anything-better-to-do-including-find-a-job. This guy I got tangled up with was definitely the latter.

He looks like Louisiana's version of Walter from The Big Lebowski, though not nearly as fun. Imagine John Goodman wearing a circa-1980's Richard Marx haircut and you're there. He plays, to put it mildly, some of the worst poker I've ever seen, and he's doing it at the 10/20 table. In his mind, however, he's running bad, and it is ENTIRELY the deck's fault.

I have never seen someone bitch for thirty minutes for a deck change before. Every hand, after he had folded on the turn, he would turn around, and in a deep Cajun smoker's brogue, begin yelling for the floorpeople to bring a new setup. The floorpeople, having both real work to do and being human beings, took their time in doing so. He grew increasingly more agitated by the lack of setup turn-of-events until he got involved with me in a hand where I had pocket sevens and he had pocket jacks.

Unfortunately for him, two sevens came out on the board to pair my two sevens...I even think he might have filled up somewhere there, too...it's been a while since the hand. Needless to say, my quad sevens beat whatever he had working with his pocket jacks. But...this is the incredible part: HE GAINED PERSPECTIVE FROM MY MONSTER SUCKOUT!

That, or I completely broke his spirit. I'm not sure, but his whole demeanor changed. He began actually regaling me with his life story, which consisted of an ill-fated run towards the Little League World Series when he was twelve. He actually said the phrase, "I often wonder what my life would have been like if I'd played in that game."

He never did tell me how the rest of his life had gone, but frankly, I don't think he needed to. I don't think I've ever been more uncomfortable at a poker table in my entire life.

[The Goober]

There's one guy who plays occasionally at my card room. He's universally hated by everyone (including the dealers and floor who bitch about him any time he's not in ear-shot). His list of crimes include: being rude to the waitstaff, never paying attention to the game, constantly putting out the wrong number of chips and having to be corrected, ashing on the felt constantly, mercilessly bumming cigarettes off of anyone he can find (one guy told me he bummed 5 cigarettes in like 30 mins), and just generally being a dick. Despite all that, probably the most irritating thing he does is whenever he wins a reasonably sized pot (usually with some ridiculous hand) he shouts, pumps his fist in the air, and tries to get everybody at the table to high-five him, including the guy he just sucked out on.

While I usually despise all forms of slow-rolling, I had to smile when one guy did it to this idiot. The idiot showed his hand, waited a second, and then jumps up and shouts "Yes! Pair of 7s wins it!" ... after which the winner turns over his pocket Ks.